moonbuggy

`Welcome to the Most Holy-n-High Church of the Blinding Light of the Holy Glowing™ Form of the One Toupeed and Gloriously Bloated Shatner!’

`In the 1950s, the Seventh-day Adventist Church struck an extraordinary deal with the US Army. It would provide test subjects for experiments on biological weapons at the Fort Detrick research centre near Washington DC.

The volunteers were conscientious objectors who agreed to be infected with debilitating pathogens. In return, they were exempted from frontline warfare.

Fort Detrick was working on weapons it could use in an offensive capacity as well as ways of defending its troops and citizens.’

`Hillsong Church’s benevolent arm has been stripped of a $414,479 federal grant following allegations it obtained the funds by exploiting and deceiving the Aboriginal community that was supposed to benefit from it.

Federal Justice Minister Chris Ellison, who approved the grant under a community crime prevention program late last year, withdrew the offer this month following exposure of the controversy by The Australian.

The backflip follows a growing row over the millions of dollars the Federal Government provides to Hillsong Emerge for a range of programs, with claims the money goes mostly into the pentecostal church’s administrative coffers.’

`Evangelist Ken Ham smiled at the 2,300 elementary students packed into pews, their faces rapt. With dinosaur puppets and silly cartoons, he was training them to reject much of geology, paleontology and evolutionary biology as a sinister tangle of lies.

“Boys and girls,” Ham said. If a teacher so much as mentions evolution, or the Big Bang, or an era when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, “you put your hand up and you say, ‘Excuse me, were you there?’ Can you remember that?”

The children roared their assent.

“Sometimes people will answer, ‘No, but you weren’t there either,’ ” Ham told them. “Then you say, ‘No, I wasn’t, but I know someone who was, and I have his book about the history of the world.’ ” He waved his Bible in the air.

“Who’s the only one who’s always been there?” Ham asked.

“God!” the boys and girls shouted.

“Who’s the only one who knows everything?”

“God!”

“So who should you always trust, God or the scientists?”

The children answered with a thundering: “God!”‘

`It’s one of the darkest secrets of the Warren Jeffs polygamist community. An especially severe form of birth defect is on the rise and may mushroom in coming generations. [..]

Fumarase Deficiency is an enzyme irregularity that causes severe mental retardation, epileptic seizures and other cruel effects that leave children nearly helpless and unable to take care of themselves.

Dr. Theodore Tarby has treated many of the children at clinics in Arizona under contracts with the state. All are retarded. “In the severe category of mental retardation,” the neurologist said, “which means an IQ down there around 25 or so.”

Until a few years ago, scientists knew of only 13 cases of Fumarase Deficiency in the entire world. Tarby said he’s now aware of 20 more victims, all within a few blocks of each other on the Utah-Arizona border.’

`US immigration officials have arrested a Haitian woman after baggage screeners found a human head in her luggage at a Florida airport.

Myrlene Severe, 30, has been charged with failing to declare the head on a customs form and transporting “hazardous material”. [..]

Ms Severe said that the head was to ward off evil sprits, officials said.’

`The man who caused outrage by dressing as a suicide bomber during London protests over the Mohammed cartoons was arrested and taken to prison today, police have revealed.

Omar Khayam, 22, was pictured outside Denmark’s embassy in London wearing a simulated suicide bombing outfit to denounce the cartoons, first published in a Danish paper, satirising the prophet Mohammed.

The student was given six years in prison in 2002 for possessing crack cocaine with intent to supply and is still on licence after being released last year halfway through his sentence. [..]

Khayam’s arrest in Bedford was carried out at the instigation of the Home Office for breaching the terms of his licence.’

`I made a Pancake and it has the image of Jesus on it!!!

See for yourself!’

One bid for $500 so far.

`A senior military commander of the Taliban says the Taliban will give 100 kilograms of gold as a reward to anyone who killed the person responsible for “blasphemous” cartoons in Denmark, Afghan Islamic Press has reported.

“Any one who will kill the person responsible for blasphemous cartoons of Prophet Mohammed in Denmark would be rewarded 100 kilogram of gold by the Taliban,” Mullah Dadullah, chief military commander of the Taliban, said.

Dadullah also said the Taliban would give 5kg of gold as a reward to anyone who killed any military personnel from Denmark, Norway and Germany in Afghanistan.’

`Think about the title: Please Kill Me, I’m a Faggot Nigger Jew. That really says it all for this film, it’s a truly amazing work. A man, driven to desperation because of being a despised minority within a despised minority within a despised minority. It must be very hard to deal with such feelings of such hatred, this film shows the raw emotion very clearly. If only every movie were like this.’

`Iran’s largest selling newspaper announced today it was holding a contest on cartoons of the Holocaust in response to the publishing in European papers of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed.

“It will be an international cartoon contest about the Holocaust,” said Farid Mortazavi, the graphics editor for Hamshahri newspaper – which is published by Teheran’s conservative municipality.

He said the plan was to turn the tables on the assertion that newspapers can print offensive material in the name of freedom of expression.

“The Western papers printed these sacrilegious cartoons on the pretext of freedom of expression, so let’s see if they mean what they say and also print these Holocaust cartoons,” he said.’

`A German newspaper has apologised for accidentally placing a utility company advertisement for “the gas of tomorrow” inside a full-page story on the Nazi killing of Sinti (Gypsy) people in Auschwitz concentration camp.

The Landeszeitung Lueneburg said on its website today it had not noticed that the article about a local exhibition describing the fate of the Sinti in Hitler’s Germany appeared on the same page as an advert for utility company E.ON which read: “E.ON is taking care of the gas of tomorrow, today.”‘

`A pastor accused of selling the town‘s oldest church pleaded guilty to embezzlement on Monday and agreed to 18 months in prison, court officials said.

Radic had preached at First Congregational Church in Ripon for nearly a decade before he sold the church last October for $525,000, allegedly using the money to buy a BMW. He also faked documents that gave him possession of his house, which was owned by the church, then used the property to take out loans, authorities said.’

`Masked Palestinian gunmen have briefly taken over a European Union office to protest a Danish newspaper’s publication of cartoons deemed insulting to Islam’s Prophet Muhammad.

The 12 drawings – published last September by the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten and republished in a Norwegian paper this month – included an image of the prophet wearing a turban shaped as a bomb with a burning fuse.

Islamic tradition bars any depiction of the prophet, even respectful ones, out of concern that such images could lead to idolatry.’

`A 52-year-old rocket enthusiast suffered minor injuries when a motor exploded as he packed powder into the casing, blowing his garage door off its hinges in Oceanside, authorities said Saturday.

Firefighters were called to the man’s home in the 3700 block of Nectarine Circle at 7:38 p.m. Friday, Oceanside fire battalion Chief Peter Lawrence said.

They found a trash can smoldering, the garage door split in half and smoke filling the cul-de-sac where the home is located, Lawrence said. [..]

Firefighters suggested Reiner find a safer hobby. Reiner told them that “God has a plan for me and apparently it was not supposed to end tonight,” Lawrence said.’

`The Vatican has been accused of trying to cash in on the Pope’s words after it decided to impose strict copyright on all papal pronouncements.

For the first time all papal documents, including encyclicals, will be governed by copyright invested in the official Vatican publishing house, the Libreria Editrice Vaticana. [..]

The decision was denounced yesterday for treating the Pope’s words as “saleable merchandise” and endangering the Church’s mission to “spread the Christian message”.

A Milanese publishing house that had issued an anthology containing 30 lines from Pope Benedict’s speech to the conclave that elected him and an extract from his enthronement speech is reported to have been sent a bill for €15,000 (£10,000). This was made up of 15 per cent of the cover price of each copy sold plus “legal expenses” of €3,500.’

Next thing you know the Bible will come with DRM.

`Nervous TV bosses have axed an episode of South Park which outs a fictional Tom Cruise character as gay — because they are scared the real actor will sue. [..]

His ex-wife Nicole Kidman and fellow Scientologist John Travolta are portrayed as trying to coax him out.

Nicole, 38, tells him: “Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?

“It’s time for you to come out of the closet. You’re not fooling anyone.”

The episode, called Trapped in the Closet, also features Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard criticising Cruise’s acting skills.’

`The best ten stories, according to HumorFeed, are as follows (in alphabetical order, by website):

* Avant News: President Bush Paints Self Into Corner
* BBspot: Microsoft’s Antispyware Tool Removes Internet Explorer
* Brainsnap:Christian Fundamentalists Suspected of Terrorist Bombings
* BSNews: President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French
* Confusion Road: Terri Schiavo Dies; Congress Orders Feeding Tube Reinserted
* Department of Social Scrutiny: Government Responds to Charles and Camilla’s Wedding with ID Card Follow-up
* The Fake News: One Hot White Chick Injured in Tsunami Disaster
* John Fanzine: Scientists Discover Most Boring Substance Ever
* Opinions You Should Have: Existence of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush
* Studio 8 Entertainment: Popeless World Plunges Into Chaos’

`As regards your question, it is to be noted, first of all, that all acts that aim at satisfying and pleasing the spouses are allowable so long as two things are avoided, that is anal sex and having sex with a wife while she is still in her menstruation. Thus, it is permissible for a husband and a wife to practice cunnilingus and fellatio. Following we’d cite the opinions of some well-known Muslim scholars in this regard: [..]’

`Mayor Ray Nagin suggested Monday that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and other storms were a sign that “God is mad at America” and at black communities, too, for tearing themselves apart with violence and political infighting.

“Surely God is mad at America. He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it’s destroyed and put stress on this country,” Nagin, who is black, said as he and other city leaders marked Martin Luther King Day.

“Surely he doesn’t approve of us being in Iraq under false pretenses. But surely he is upset at black America also. We’re not taking care of ourselves.”

Nagin also promised that New Orleans will be a “chocolate” city again. Many of the city’s black neighborhoods were heavily damaged by Katrina.’

`Three British tourists were allegedly terrorised in the Gold Coast hinterland by a man vowing to kill Muslims in a bizarre attack reminiscent of the Sydney race riots and the horror movie Wolf Creek.

The tourists hid in a rainforest in fear of their lives after 41-year-old Shane Robert Stephens chased them along a perilous mountain road, trying several times to run their car off the edge, the Southport Magistrates Court heard yesterday.

Mr Stephens then stabbed the tyres on their rented convertible, slashed the hood, tore off the rear number plate and ripped out wiring and spark plugs, prosecutor Peta Eyschen told the court.

Opposing a bail application by the accused, Senior Constable Eyschen said Mr Stephens had referred to the three British men as “Lebanese”.’

`An Egyptian cleric’s controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.

According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University’s faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), “being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage”.’

`”The next day, when they came from Bethany, he was hungry:

“And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if perhaps he might find any thing on it: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

“And Jesus answered and said to it, No man eat fruit of you hereafter forever. And his disciples heard it. –Mark 11:12-14′

If you don’t know what this is about, have a look at God Hates Fags.

`A member of the Southern Baptist Convention’s executive committee has been arrested in Oklahoma City on charges of propositioning a male undercover police officer.

The Reverend Lonnie Latham has spoken out against homosexuality in the past.

As he left jail yesterday, he said he was set up and was in the area pastoring to police.’

`The Rev. Pat Robertson said Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was punished by God for dividing the Land of Israel.

Speaking on the “700 Club” on Thursday, Robertson suggested that Sharon, who is currently in an induced coma following a massive stroke and cerebral hemorrhage, and former Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, assassinated by an Israeli extremist in 1995, were being treated harshly by God for dividing Israel.’

`The average Christian need only be concerned with a few types of firearms. The weapons discussed are generally available over the counter to the citizen. This section will discuss the basic technological aspects of the various types of weapons. Specific descriptions are covered in the Hardware and Ammunition sections. [..]

The most useful arm to the Christian warrior is probably the rifle or the carbine. A rifle is a long arm with a rifled (grooved) barrel chambered for a full power cartridge, and intended to be fired from the shoulder. A carbine is simply a more compact version of the rifle, most often with a shorter barrel and chambered for an intermediate power cartridge.’

`This popular music album was written by Ron to communicate what Scientology is and what it can do. Ron created the music and lyrics and sings the final song himself! Songs include title song, Laugh a Little, The Way to Happiness, The ARC Song, The Evil Purpose, Make It Go Right, The Worried Being, The Good Go Free, Why Worship Death? and Thank You For Listening. This is an aesthetic presentation and a powerful dissemination tool.’

`11. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can’t be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists. [..]

13. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists. [..]

14. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists — it’s too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists. [..]

17. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists. [..]

DORE’S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.’

‘On 8th and 9th of October, Gloria Jean’s coffee houses around Australia are hosting a special event, Cappuccino for a Cause, to support the work of Mercy Ministries. When you buy a Cappuccino or Cappuccino Chiller over the event weekend, 50 cents from each sale will be donated to Mercy Ministries.

What is Mercy Ministries?

Mercy Australia runs a residential program for young women aged between 16 and 28 years with life controlling issues. These issues range from eating disorders, unplanned pregnancies, substance abuse, eating disorders, self harm, suicidal tendencies, depression and anxiety, and the effects of sexual and physical abuse. The average stay for a resident is approx 10 months, depending on each individual girl.

The program is very structured and is based on Christian principles. The residents have class time and bible study daily.’

Also with links to stories about how the father of Hillsong’s founder is a homosexual paedophile and how they engage in generally dodgy financial dealings.

[I think the photo caption “The Right Honourable Happy Clappy, MHR” at the latter link is hilarious. :)]

I put a link to the crazy Trading Spouses woman a while back. Here’s a longer and crazier version of the clip. Absolutely hilarious.

(10.3meg Windows Media)

see it here »