`A 20-year-old man has filed a civil lawsuit in California against Michael Jackson claiming the pop star sexually molested him on different occasions between the ages of two and 14. [..]
The man, who filed the lawsuit in October, also claims that he was subjected to “unnecessary cosmetic procedures.” Mattern claims to have photos of his client “with these red lips just like you see on Mr. Jackson and a big old cleft chin, which he didn’t have previously.”’
`Clarksville Police are searching for three men they say kidnapped, raped, robbed and held captive a 79-year-old woman for six hours after she attempted to walk into a Madison Street pharmacy.
The woman told police she was approached at about 3:30 p.m. Monday by a knife-wielding man and forced into the back seat of her bronze 1989 Ford Escort, according to an incident report by Detective Sean Averitt.
Two other men got into the back seat with her, and the first man drove away in her car. She was ordered to undress before being sexually assaulted and forced to smoke crack cocaine, Averitt wrote.’
`I don’t know what to think of this. Every time my boyfriend is riding me, he likes to stick things up my butt – like pencils and beer bottles. I don’t enjoy it, but every time he does it, it gets him off. I tried the same thing to him once, and he didn’t stop me. Is he gay?’
`The US Secretary of State released a coarse anti-Russian statement. This is because she is a single woman who has no children [..]
“This is the only way to satisfy her needs of a female. She derives pleasure from it. If she has no man by her side at her age, he will never appear. Even if she had a whole selection of men to choose from she would stay single because her soul and heart have hardened. Like Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Tamerlane, or Alexander the Great of Macedon Ms. Rice needs to fight and release tough public statements in global scale. She needs to be on top of the world. [..]
“Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex. She needs to return to her university and teach students there. She could also deal with psychological analysis.
“The true reason of Ms. Rice’s attack against Russia is very simple. Condoleezza Rice is a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men’s attention. Releasing such stupid remarks gives her the feeling of being fulfilled. This is the only way for her to attract men’s attention,” Vladimir Zhirinovsky said.’
Pravda has to be about the best newspaper on the planet, I just decided. Russian journalism is a top-notch, quality operation. :)
`When a girl gets off the bed after intercourse and the guy puts his index and middle finger into her vagina and thumb into the anus and pulls her back to the bed.
When i got done with tito’s mom i through her back onto the bed with a new jersey meat hook.‘
`An Egyptian cleric’s controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.
According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University’s faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), “being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage”.’
`As I look back at the year in news, it’s clear I should have focused more on people having sex with horses.
That’s the conclusion I reach after reviewing a new list of the year’s top local news stories. Only this list is not the usual tedious recounting by news editors or pundits who profess to speak for you readers. This is the people’s-choice list. [..]
What’s more, four more of the year’s 20 most clicked-upon local news stories were about the same horse-sex incident. We don’t publish our Web-traffic numbers, but take it from me — the total readership on these stories was huge.
So much so, a case can be made that the articles on horse sex are the most widely read material this paper has published in its 109-year history.’
`A 20-year-old porn actress is wanted by police on child rape charges after allegedly having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy, giving him drugs and convincing him to run away with her to Oklahoma, authorities said. [..]
Silva allegedly met the boy, a former DeAnza High School student, through her brother and began a sexual relationship with him in June, Peixoto said.
The boy ran away from his home in El Sobrante and moved in with Silva in Richmond. In an interview with police, he said Silva had supplied him with methamphetamines, ecstasy and marijuana.
At some point, Silva, her mother and the boy moved to Roosevelt, Okla., where Silva and the boy continued their relationship and their drug use, Peixoto said.’
Remember that guy died after sneaking onto a farm and being fucked by a horse?
This is apparently the video. Absolutely not safe for work.
(1.5meg Flash video)
see it here »
`A sex assault trial that hung on claims of a large penis was turned into a “cheap joke” by media coverage, a superior court judge said yesterday as she found the accused guilty.
Justice Margaret Eberhard said she was disturbed after receiving calls “from afar” and was ribbed numerous times over the trial in which a man claimed he could not be guilty of rape because his penis is too big. [..]
A 22-year-old student, who can’t be identified, claimed his penis is too big to insert into an average vagina without special preparation or it causes bleeding and scarring.
A urologist brought to court a plastic model that depicted the size of the member at a semi-relaxed state, which measured 8 1/2 inches long and 6 1/2 inches in girth.’
Followup to Penis size used as defence in trial.
`She’s one in a million. Well, technically, I guess she’s sort of two in a million. That is, she has two vaginas, two uteruses and two cervixes.
On the other hand, J’s uterus didelphys – the technical name for her matching lady bits – is, according to one of the many gynecologists who’ve poked around down there over the years, literally one in a million. In and around there, anyway.
“It’s really, really rare,” J proudly explains. “There are more cases of women having just two wombs or just two vaginas or two cervixes, but I’ve got the whole kit times two.”
Well, except the clitoris.
“Are you kidding?” laughs J. “If I had two clits, I’d never leave the house!”‘
`Security guards found Michael Plentyhorse, 18, sprawled with the dummy on the floor with his trousers and pants down.
Police spokesman Loren McManus said: “There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin.
“That’s the only way I know how to put it.”‘
`Dubbed the Nanometer-silver Cryptomorphic Condom (NCC), it’s designed for female rather than male usage. The condom-in-a-can is essentially an antiseptic foam spray that the manufacturer claims forms a physical membrane inside the vagina, protecting it from infection, acting as a barrier to pregnancy and providing a lubricating effect. [..]
“It can remain in the vagina for a long time without destroying the vagina’s chemical balance,” the company adds. “Daily use of this product can help maintain genital hygiene and prevent infection by pathogens”.’
`o.k. so i’m no barry white but i did pick up this little gem at a local bookstore on a recommendation from the clerk (thanks nameless clerk) which i wanted to share. it’s a slim but large format volume called the erotic coloring book published in 1975 by berlin & associates out of l.a., illustrated by a guy named craig berlin. it’s high-larious and most assuredly nsfw. possibly nsfpptdhf as well (not safe for people prone to dangerous hallucinogenic flashbacks). you might consider it the companion piece to this earlier post i suppose. see a sampling of the self proclaimed erotic pages below.’
‘A Superior Court judge must decide whether to believe a 21-year-old accused who says he could not have committed a sexual assault because his penis is too big. [..]
Earlier in the trial, which has been in and out of court for months, a urologist testified that Beutling’s penis is in the top 5% range for size in comparison to the doctor’s other patients. [..]
The urologist showed the court a plastic model of a penis approximating the accused’s member at a semi-relaxed state, which measured 8 1/2 inches in length and 6 1/2 inches in girth.
He said a woman who has not given birth might have discomfort or tearing if she had intercourse with a penis that size, especially if she was not sexually aroused.’
`”A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.
Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.
“The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him,” said Mr Crosland. “The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.
Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police “I can’t help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.”‘
`Lebianism ’bout to take over our comminuty .. I’m talkin’ about YOUNG GIRLS!
My son in high school last year, trying to go to the prom, he said “Dad, I ain’t got nobody to take to the prom because all the girls in my class are gay, and ain’t but two of them straight and both of dem ugly.”‘
And it gets so much better. :)
`Anytime somebody gotta slap some grease on your behind dere’s somethin’ wrong wid dat. YOUR BUTT AIN’T MADE FOR DAT! [..]
No wonder yo behind is bleedin’!’
(740k mp3)
see it here »
`Pop babe Britney Spears and her dancer husband Kevin Federline are reportedly apprehensive about a sex tape of theirs that is going to be made public.
According to the Sun, a member of the singer’s entourage is believed to have copied one of the couple’s personal video tapes, allegedly recorded while Britney was still expecting baby son Sean Preston, and is threatening to release it. [..]
During her pregnancy, Britney confessed her sex life was at its best.
“I think it’s the best. Sex is crazy good,” she confessed.’
I’ll link to it when it comes out, if I can find it. Also, I’m going to throw the phrase “Britney Spears Biphallic Sex Tape” in right here just to see how the search engines react. :)
`Prosecutors charged that Arlan Kaufman, 68, and his wife Linda Kaufman, 62, spent 18 years taking advantage of patients entrusted to their care. The couple ran a residential care facility in Newton, Kansas, where they worked with at least 20 mentally ill individuals from 1980 until 2004. [..]
Authorities are seeking to prove that while the couple was billing relatives and insurers for therapy, rent, utilities and food, they were forcing the residents to engage in hard manual labor in the nude on a farm the couple owned outside of town.
Prosecutors charged the residents were also forced to engage in a variety of sexually explicit acts, including masturbating, fondling each other and shaving each other’s genitals, much of which was videotaped.
Patients were physically injured or restrained if they resisted, authorities charged.’
`Half a dozen Mexico City prostitutes have been arrested for using eye drops containing a sleep-inducing drug to knock out and rob their clients, leaving at least five men dead, a newspaper said on Monday.
One central city district has recorded 17 cases this year including five deaths from the drug cyclopentolate — a muscle relaxant used in eye examinations to dilate the pupil and blur vision.’
`Avoiding eating in order to improve your appearance is part of being a woman, and it’s natural for a woman to devote all of her time to achieving a figure pleasing to the male eye. While there are many ways to get hot, one of the simplest, fastest, and most effective is through self-starvation. However, anorexia, like all things, is best used in moderation. For example, you should never get so thin that you lose your tits. [..]
It’s like I told my ex-girlfriend Lisa: Feminine fragility is a plus, but if I actually snap your arm while having sex with you, you’ve gone too far. A woman should have a pleasingly light, impossibly fragile appearance, much like a piece of fine china, but if her body has begun digesting the calcium in its bones to sustain its necessary functions, there is a good chance she has starved herself beyond the point where I would even want to have sex with her at all.’
`Let’s face it: being a dedicated gamer can be lonely. Sure, you have your Everquest clan or your Quake buddies, but communing with fellow gaming geeks doesn’t fulfill certain…needs. At the same time, it’s hard to tear yourself away from the computer long enough to chase tail and engage in archaic but obligatory mating rituals. Now you don’t have to leave your true love behind. In fact, you and your PC are about to get closer…much, much closer.
We created this case mod to give the truly hard-core gamer an appropriate outlet. Do you love your computer? Really, really love your computer? Now you can satisfy your passion for PCs and your passion for pussy at the same time. How’s that for added functionality?’
Seriously, not safe for work. Not safe for home.
If you think the main link is bad, try this or this or this.
Better yet, don’t try any of them at all.
You love biphallic sex. Go on, have a look.
Don’t worry, it’s safe for work.
Graaaagh!
`For those that love to worship feet! Kaylani’s foot has long slender toes with ruby red nails. The best part is that it has a tight ribbed pussy in the heel of the shoe.’
`A Maori healer who used traditional indigenous practices to treat patients has been jailed for three and a half years for sexually violating two patients with potatoes.
Sending Christopher Tuaupiki, 64, to prison, a judge in the High Court in the North Island city of Hamilton told him it was “sad that a good reputation had been shattered” when he was found guilty on five sex charges after a week-long trial, the Waikato Times newspaper reported.’
`The latest HS hazing incident had gotten a little more serious with seven members of the AHST High School wrestling team (including one former member) being charged with misdemeanor assault for “forcibly restraining” seven freshman wrestlers on eight different occasions, and each time “one individual would take down his pants and place his bare genitals against the face and head of the alleged victims.”‘
`A woman forced her husband to have sex with a 13-year-old girl, threatening both with a spear, because of bad spirits, a Darwin court heard today.
Savonne Scrubby, 33, has pleaded guilty to a charge of rape in the Northern Territory Supreme Court, saying she was the principal offender.
With her plea, the prosecution dropped a charge of rape against the man.’
`Here at /8====>, we’ve already combined two things essential to live, strip clubs and food. Now it’s time to put sex and video games together in a pair we like to call The SeXBox. The second you start playing with this while on XBox Live, it turns into teledildonics!
This mod didn’t take any engineering. There’s nothing new or amazing that we’re doing with this, hell, we really didn’t even think of the method first. However, we DID involve sex, so we win!’
`An Italian sex researcher claims he can tell a woman’s personality from the size and shape of her breasts.
According to German newspaper Bild sexologist Piero Lorenzoni said: “A woman’s breasts denote a woman’s character, just like her star sign.”
He has categorised breast types according to fruits and says men can draw up their own horoscope-type chart that indicates what a woman’s chest size says about her.’
