‘A Susquenita School District bus driver showed two girls a video clip on a cellular phone of the cartoon character Smurfette performing a sex act on Papa Smurf, state police said.
Tony Lee Campbell, 33, of the 3900 block of Sugar Run Road in Tuscarora Twp., has been charged with misdemeanor counts of corruption of minors, harassment and disseminating obscene materials to minors, records state.
The allegations surfaced when Campbell tried to have middle school officials discipline a 12-year-old girl for leaving the bus against Campbell’s orders, records state.
When Assistant Principal Jeffrey Kuhns asked why she left the bus, the girl said Campbell was a “pervert,” records state.’
‘Officials released a prisoner from a state facility after receiving a phony fax that ordered the man be freed, and didn’t catch the mistake for nearly two weeks.
Timothy Rouse, 19, is charged with beating an elderly western Kentucky man and was at the Kentucky Correctional & Psychiatric Center in La Grange for a mental evaluation. He was released from that facility on April 6 after officials received the fake court order.
It contained grammatical errors, was not typed on letterhead and was faxed from a local grocery store. The fax falsely claimed that the Kentucky Supreme Court “demanded” Rouse be released.
Lexington police arrested Rouse at his mother’s home Thursday evening.’
He doesn’t sound entirely right in the head to me.
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‘The mother of a kindergartner was charged with assault Thursday and banned from school after officials said she walked into the child’s classroom, pointed a toy cap gun at students and pulled the trigger several times. [..]
School officials said the woman was in the classroom to pay for an upcoming field trip. While the teacher’s back was turned, “The mom walked in toward the middle of the classroom, and the teacher heard this click, click, click, click — like four to six times,” Principal Jean Heise said.
“A teacher’s assistant witnessed her take a gun and point it directly toward four to five kids. With everything that’s happened the last couple of days, she (the assistant) was just in shock,” the principal said.
She then left with the small child and took the toy gun with her.’
‘A drama teacher at a suburban Vancouver elementary school is expressing regret for having her students re-enact the Virginia Tech massacre.
The principal at South Park elementary school in Delta says the teacher has used topical news events as the basis for her plays in the past.
But this time Doug Thomson agrees with some students and parents who say she went too far.
The Grade 6 and Grade 7 students were asked to play roles from Monday’s massacre in which a mentally ill student gunned down 32 students and teachers at the U.S. college before killing himself.’
‘I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid bitch…why else would I buy dog food??’
Hooray for country and western music. :)
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‘A lonely man is £16,000 poorer after sending money overseas to two women he fell in love with over the internet, in the hope they would join him in the UK. [..]
Mr Hodgkinson, who is a full-time carer for his 86-year-old mother, turned to online dating after he became fed up with being single. [..]
He first struck up a relationship with Natalia, from Russia, who he met through a dating website. [..]
He sent her more than £10,000 to pay for her travel and a visa so she could be with him.
He went to meet her at Heathrow Airport four times, but she never arrived. [..]
His mother, Constance, has been forced to take out a loan to help repay his debts.
“I did tell him off about keeping going to Heathrow,” she said.’
‘Australia and the United States have announced a plan to swap up to 200 asylum seekers every year.
Migrants held by the US in Guantanamo Bay will be resettled in Australia, while Canberra will send people held in its offshore detention camps to the US.
The move is aimed at deterring would-be refugees by preventing them from reaching their destination of choice.
But critics say the plan could backfire on Canberra, as many refugees around the world are hoping to get to America.’
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‘ That’s what new tests of liquid soap carried by drummer Don Bolles of the punk band the Germs have determined. The peppermint soap, made by Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps of Escondido, had tested positive for GHB, a rave-scene drug, in a police field test.
Yesterday, however, all charges against the Los Angeles-based musician were dropped by the Orange County District Attorney’s Office after more detailed crime lab tests came back negative for GHB. [..]
“What kind of justice system allows police to use field drug tests that deprive citizens of their God-given liberty, that test positive for something as common as soap?” Bronner said in a news release.’
‘A plan to sedate more than 300 horses stabled at Belgrade’s racecourse to keep them calm during a Rolling Stones concert there has enraged Serb animal lovers who are lobbying to have the gig moved to another venue.
The concert is expected to draw more than 100,000 people to the Hippodrome, Belgrade’s largest fenced space. The horses will be only a few metres from the stage.
“Horses differ, the same as people. Some are more nervous, more skittish,” said hostler Jovanka Prelic. “If they get too nervous or start to panic during the concert, they’ll get sedatives.” [..]
The sedative would be diazepam. In Serbia it trades under the name Bensedin, a very popular drug during the 78 days of NATO air strikes in 1999, when much of Belgrade’s adult population was on tranquillisers.’
‘These guys who call themselves The Swedicks came up with the brilliant idea to saw off a branch of a tree while sitting on said branch. The results are pretty much as expected.’
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You won’t like Arnold when he’s angry.
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‘The mural destroyed by ACT Liberal MP Steve Pratt was paid for under a government program to promote legal street art and was effective in discouraging vandalism.
The artwork was funded under an urban planning scheme and commissioned by a local sporting group, said Chris Kon of the Department of Territory and Municipal Services.
Legal artworks like the one Mr Pratt painted over as part of a publicity stunt to promote his anti-vandalism policies were “very successful” at discouraging illegal graffiti, said Mr Kon. [..]
“It’ll cost some money for (the artist) to re-do it again.” [..]
State Chief Minister Jon Stanhope said the matter would be referred to the police for investigation.’
‘”As you know, we have a test next Thursday…”
“Is it going to be multiple choice?
This was in Math 73, Multivariable Calculus. [..]
A girl in my Literary Criticism class, “I can’t believe Bush got re-elected, nobody I know voted for him.”
I go to school in Canada. [..]
In my college psychology class we were talking about the ethics of testing medicine on animals when some girl in the back busts out this gem.
Girl: “So like, instead of testing on mice and monkeys, why don’t we just test on the like starving people in Africa? I mean, they’re going to die anyways right?”
She was serious too.’
‘Police have arrested a 16-year-old from Shreveport who is accused of paying another teen $5 to kill his father. Cops are still looking for the youth allegedly hired for the hit.
The teenager didn’t want to be told where he could live and was tired of having to live by rules, according to Det. Michael Escude of the Caddo Parish Sheriff’s Department.
The boy had moved from his father’s to his mother’s house a day or two before the attempted hit on Wednesday, because the father said he couldn’t deal with him any longer, Escude said.
The youth was arrested Wednesday night on one count of solicitation for murder and remains in the Caddo Juvenile Detention Center, the sheriff’s office said.’
‘Australians would take more sick days if the government banned cold and flu tablets in a bid to stop the medicine being used to manufacture the drug ice, doctors say.
The government has asked health and law enforcement officials to examine the implications of a blanket ban on the sale of products that contain pseudoephedrine, which includes cold and flu tablets.
Pseudoephedrine can be used to make methamphetamines such as ice and crystal meth.
But Australian Medical Association president Dr Mukesh Haikerwal said he doubted the ban would stop the ice epidemic as drug makers would source pseudoephedrine from elsewhere.’
What happens when you hit an aerosol can with a shovel?
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‘A teenage spectator was bludgeoned to death by a cricketer during a local match near the eastern Indian city of Kolkata, police and witnesses said.
Rabinath Ash, 17, was battered to death with a stump when he tried to shield his younger brother from attack Friday at a cricket ground in a suburb of Kolkata, they said.
“A scuffle broke when the batting side on the verge of winning the match insisted on carrying on with the game despite fading daylight,” police inspector general Raj Kanojia said.’
‘A Dutch police station trying to help Muslim detainees face Mecca for their prayers painted arrows in cells pointing in the wrong direction.
The Segbroek police station in The Hague borrowed the idea of putting compass marks on ceilings from an Amsterdam hotel, the Dutch daily De Telegraaf reported on Friday.
Muslims pray five times a day, facing east in the direction of Mecca. But the arrows in Segbroek pointed west.
“This is a really gigantic, stupid blunder,” a police spokesman told the De Telegraaf.
“The faulty compass marks have been immediately corrected. It is a mystery for us how this could have possibly happened.”‘
‘Students who participated in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex a few years later as those who did not, according to a long-awaited study mandated by Congress.
Also, those who attended one of the four abstinence classes reviewed reported having similar numbers of sexual partners as those who did not attend the classes, and they first had sex at about the same age as their control group counterparts — 14.9 years, according to Mathematica Policy Research Inc. [..]
However, Bush administration officials cautioned against drawing sweeping conclusions from the study. They said the four programs reviewed — among several hundred across the nation — were some of the very first established after Congress overhauled the nation’s welfare laws in 1996.’
‘In the past anyone who didnt have musical talent could release their creative juices by playing Air Guitar, well why cant the same be true for people who have never had sex? Thats why Air Sex is sweeping Japan as the latest craze.’
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‘”Beware of Israeli melons infected with AIDS arriving in Saudi Arabia!” is the latest rumor being spread throughout Saudi Arabia like a wildfire.
An SMS message being sent around the country this week said, “The Saudi Interior Ministry warns its citizens of a truck loaded with AIDS infected melons that Israel brought into the country via a ‘ground corridor.'” [..]
The rumor, despite being denied several times, has gained so much steam in the Arab world that it made it to the front page of one of the most important Arabi language newspapers.
Many received an SMS supposedly from the Saudi Interior Ministry saying, “Please forward quickly.”‘
‘The stars of a major Live 8-style concert to raise awareness of climate change have been condemned as hypocrites for failing to lead environmentally friendly lives themselves. [..]
“Madonna’s Confessions tour produced 440 tonnes of CO2 in four months of last year. And that was just the flights between the countries, not taking into account the truckloads of equipment needed, the power to stage such a show and the transport of all the thousands of fans getting to the gigs.
“The Red Hot Chili Peppers produced 220 tonnes of CO2 with their private jet alone over six months on their last world tour which was 42 dates.
“The average a British person produces is 10 tonnes a year,” said John Buckley, managing director-of CarbonFootprint.com.’
This is more brilliance from Bill Dance, who you may remember from: Bill Dance Fishing Illustrated
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‘A St. Louis legislator wants to require that baking soda be sold behind the pharmacy counter, as part of an effort aimed at a base ingredient in crack cocaine.
The proposal by Democratic Representative Talibdin El-Amin is modeled after a state law that requires some cold medicines to be placed behind the pharmacy counter because they contain ingredients used to make meth.
The anti-meth law requires customers to show a photo I-D and sign a book specifying their name, address and how much they purchased.
El-Amin’s bill would implement similar requirements for the purchase of sodium bicarbonate, otherwise known as baking soda. The measure was filed last month and has yet to receive a hearing.’
‘Nine young adults face criminal charges Wednesday night after breaking into a group of buildings owned by video game mogul Richard Garriott.
The suspects were identified because of pictures on a digital camera that was left at the crime scene.’
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