`Two disabled men were forced to crawl to their car after a security guard refused to let them take borrowed wheelchairs past a shopping centre entrance.
Westfield, which manages Fountain Gate shopping centre in Melbourne, apologised to the two men, who have muscular dystrophy.
The pair, both in their 40s, had used wheelchairs loaned to them by the shopping centre in Narre Warren.
They said a security guard had insisted they leave the chairs at the entrance and cover the five metres to their cars unaided.’
`A man searching for change head first in a Sydney stormwater drain is lucky to be alive after being hit by a 4WD.
The man, 35, suffered a broken pelvis and possible internal injuries as his legs protruded from the drain in Pelican Street at 11.40am yesterday. [..]
Police say he had removed a cover from the drain and was trying to retrieve change when he was hit by a Ford Territory turning into the street from Oxford Street.’
`When the stress of the war in Iraq becomes too severe, the Pentagon has a suggestion for military families: Learn how to laugh.
With help from the Pentagon’s chief laughter instructor, families of National Guard members are learning to walk like a penguin, laugh like a lion and blurt “ha, ha, hee, hee and ho, ho.”
No joke.
“I laugh every chance I get,” says the instructor, retired Army colonel James “Scotty” Scott. “That’s why I’m blessed to be at the Pentagon, where we definitely need a lot of laughter in our lives.”‘
I once had to go to a team building day where we had to force laughter. It was stupid.
`You get in the cab, settle back and expect to reach your destination without hassle.
You would not expect to be:
Told off.
Stranded on the road shoulder of an expressway.
Made to feel trapped in the dark and in the rain.
Told about your impending death at the hands of the cabby.
This is allegedly what happened to a couple in their 50s. [..]
According to the couple, he used the auto-close door system to close the door on them when they tried opening it. This happened four times.
The couple claimed he then said: ‘If I step on the pedal, all three of us will die together.”
`Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
“Politics is a cut-throat business,” said Jonathan “The Impaler” Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party. [..]
Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
“Politics is a cut-throat business,” said Jonathan “The Impaler” Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party. [..]
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.
Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he’s a vampire “just like you see in the movies and TV.”‘
`Vandals took apart dozens of supermarket trolleys in the mistaken belief they contained £1 coins. [..]
They took apart the handles of each trolley before stacking them in a neat pile in a black bin bag left nearby.
Police believe they did not realise the £1 coins are returned when shoppers take the trolleys back. [..]
A Durham Police spokesman said: “We can only guess that those responsible have never used a supermarket trolley before, otherwise they would know where the money goes.”‘
`A stolen car that had a kidnapped baby and a cell phone inside has become the center of a new controversy.
The parents of the kidnapped baby are outraged that the phone that could have been used to find the baby was not. [..]
When the parents called 911 they also realized that the father’s Sprint cell phone with GPS locator technology was also in the car.
NBC4 reported that Sprint wouldn’t provide a location to the parents or to the deputies.
“The deputies were told that Sprint had the location of the vehicle but that they could not disclose it to them because they needed to pay the $25 fee for a subpoena or fill out some forms,” said Stephanie.
Almost 2 ½ hours later a passer-by spotted the SUV abandoned a mile away.’
`Today and tomorrow every 8-year-old in the state of New York will take a test. It’s part of George Bush’s No Child Left Behind program. The losers will be left behind to repeat the third grade. Try it yourself. This is from the state’s actual practice test. Ready, class? [..]
And here’s one of the four questions:
“The story says that in 1999, the sisters could not seem to lose at doubles tennis. This probably means when they played
A two matches in one day
B against each other
C with two balls at once
D as partners”
OK, class, do you know the answer? (By the way, I didn’t cheat: there’s nothing else about “doubles” in the text.) [..]
Now, you tell me, class, which kids are best prepared to answer the question about “doubles tennis”? The 8-year-olds in Harlem who’ve never played a set of doubles or the kids whose mommies disappear for two hours every Wednesday with Enrique the tennis pro?’
I blame the parents. Gotta catch them all? Catch some sorta anti-retardation disease first, I reckon.
see it here »
`This popular music album was written by Ron to communicate what Scientology is and what it can do. Ron created the music and lyrics and sings the final song himself! Songs include title song, Laugh a Little, The Way to Happiness, The ARC Song, The Evil Purpose, Make It Go Right, The Worried Being, The Good Go Free, Why Worship Death? and Thank You For Listening. This is an aesthetic presentation and a powerful dissemination tool.’
`A man who robbed a New Zealand bank was so disappointed with his haul he tried again – this time by phone, police said Saturday.
“He’s rung (the bank) and said ‘I’m the guy who robbed you the other day and I want the manager to put some money in a bag and go and stand in the street,” said Detective Sergeant Chris Winder of the Auckland Police.
“(He said) ‘I’ll drive by slowly and take the bag from you and drive off.'”‘
`A police officer has been charged with using a Taser on his partner during an argument over whether they should stop for a soft drink. [..]
Dupuis and partner Prema Graham began arguing after Dupuis demanded she stop their car at a store so he could buy a soft drink, according to a police report.
The two then struggled over the steering wheel, and Dupuis hit her leg with his department-issued Taser, the report said. She was not seriously hurt.’
`There was a scientific method to Daniel Zeiszler’s madness when he tried to extract methamphetamine from his own urine, after smoking the illegal street drug last September in his South San Francisco hotel room.
But Zeiszler’s experiment went dangerously awry when he spilled some solvent on himself, then lit a cigarette while he contemplated his next move, starting a fire that burned his right hand and arm.’
Lighting jumping jacks on the bare skin of your back will burn you.
I knew this before these Danish fellows decided to make a video to prove it. :)
see it here »
They’re right you know, she doesn’t.
`Kentucky has been awarded a federal Homeland Security grant aimed at keeping terrorists from using charitable gaming to raise money.
The state Office of Charitable Gaming won the $36,300 grant and will use it to provide five investigators with laptop computers and access to a commercially operated law-enforcement data base, said John Holiday, enforcement director at the Office of Charitable Gaming.
The idea is to keep terrorists from playing bingo or running a charitable game to raise large amounts of cash, Holiday said.
But to some, the idea of protecting bingo halls from terrorists is nonsensical.’
‘Dude, it doesnt matter how late you are you would probably be better off showering at home.’
(2.2meg .wmv)
see it here »
`A Pentagon planning document being updated to reflect the doctrine of pre-emption declared by President Bush in 2002 envisions the use of nuclear weapons to deter terrorists from using weapons of mass destruction against the United States or its allies.
The “Doctrine for Joint Nuclear Operations,” which was last updated 10 years ago, makes clear that “the decision to employ nuclear weapons at any level requires explicit orders from the president.” [..]
“However, the continuing proliferation of WMD along with the means to deliver them increases the probability that someday a state/nonstate actor nation/terrorist may, through miscaluation or by deliberate choice, use those weapons. In such cases, deterrence, even based on the threat of massive destruction, may fail and the United States must be prepared to use nuclear weapons if necessary.”‘
‘My goodness, Susy! We almost became Muslims! I want Jesus! [..]
Oh, those poor Muslims. They’ve been lied to.
Yes, because of Mohammed’s false teaching. We must pray for them.’
`Ask your mommy…
…how many animals she killed to make her fur coat? The sooner she stops wearing fur, the sooner animals will be safe!’
Nothing like mentally scarring some children to make your point. :)
`A Romanian traffic cop has been demoted after he fined a driver for “having a face like a moron and being a big monkey”. [..]
Head of the Romanian police Dan Fatuloiu said Vlasceanu, who claimed he had handed out the fine as a joke, had been demoted for “inappropriate behaviour and defaming the police force”.
He has now been given a desk job in a remote village.’
`Several centuries ago, some “very light-skinned” people were shipwrecked on a tropical island. After “many years under the tropical sun,” this light-skinned population became “dark-skinned,” says Biology: The Study of Life, a high-school textbook published in 1998 by Prentice Hall, an imprint of Pearson Education. [..]
A study commissioned by the David and Lucile Packard Foundation in 2001 found 500 pages of scientific error in 12 middle-school textbooks used by 85 percent of the students in the country. One misstates Newton’s first law of motion. Another says humans can’t hear elephants. Another confuses “gravity” with “gravitational acceleration.” Another shows the equator running through the United States. [..]
A study by the National Assessment governing board in 2000 found that only 12 percent of graduating seniors were proficient in science. International surveys continue to show that American high school seniors rank 19th among seniors surveyed in 21 countries.’
`A 38-year-old suburban man allegedly admitted to police he drank 10 beers before lighting a commercial firework inside his home, blowing up the house and seriously burning himself and a female companion.
“When you see these in public settings, they’re 30, 40, 50 feet across at the top,” Pat Barry, spokesman for the Will County sheriff’s department, said of the firework the man allegedly set off. “Imagine this going off in a room that’s about 8 by 8,” Barry said.’
These guys are idiots. They hurt themselves and roll around screaming in pain.
I don’t know what else they expected to happen. :)
(900k .wmv)
see it here »
`Raju Shetty’s (28) attempt to adopt an inventive method to enhance sexual pleasure landed him on the surgeon’s table yesterday.
Inspired by the fad of body piercing, the Pantnagar (Ghatkopar) resident substituted a ring with a metal nut and pushed it around his penis. Problem was, the metal stayed stubbornly stuck to his organ for over two hours.
After failing to remove the foreign body, an embarrassed Shetty decided to seek medical help and checked into the casualty ward of Rajawadi Hospital in the evening.’
`The bell certainly didn’t save two suspects in the case of a missing assault rifle.
A ringing cell phone was the downfall of the men, who insisted they had no knowledge of an AK-47 used in an October shooting. They continued to stand by their story under questioning.
Then their cell phones chimed in. As Detective Kevin Doran tried to silence the rings, he noticed one had interesting wallpaper – a picture of one of the suspects holding an AK-47.
“A picture truly is worth a thousand words,” said Capt. Joe Fair, the vice squad’s commander.’
`A woman forced her husband to have sex with a 13-year-old girl, threatening both with a spear, because of bad spirits, a Darwin court heard today.
Savonne Scrubby, 33, has pleaded guilty to a charge of rape in the Northern Territory Supreme Court, saying she was the principal offender.
With her plea, the prosecution dropped a charge of rape against the man.’
`A student is planning to carry out a crime spree by travelling across the United States and breaking weird local laws along the way.
Richard Smith, 23, will risk being arrested for falling asleep in a cheese factory in South Dakota and going whale-hunting in landlocked Utah. He intends to break about 40 strange state and town laws as he crosses America, starting from the notorious former prison island of Alcatraz in San Francisco Bay.
His 18,000-mile journey across the continent will end in Hartford, Connecticut, where it is illegal to cross the road while walking on your hands.’
`Two small boys and two girls were married off to four puppies by tribal villagers in the small northern Indian state of Jharkhand to ward off evil, a report said on Wednesday. [..]
One of the tribals, 54-year-old Sonamuni, who blessed the marriage of her three-year-old grand-daughter Priya, said the wedding was no less important than other such ceremonies and all customs normally associated with marriage were followed.
The mother of “groom” Durga, aged one, said that if the first tooth of a baby came out in the upper jaw it was considered “inauspicious” for the child as well as the family and dog marriages had to be performed.’
