‘A British Airways jumbo jet carrying 351 passengers was forced to make an emergency landing after an 11-hour transatlantic flight with a failed engine.
The fault occurred on take-off from Los Angeles but the pilot declined all opportunities to land in the US and instead continued on three engines for 5,000 miles to Britain.
The incident happened three days after a European regulation came into force requiring airlines to compensate passengers for long delays or cancellations. Under the new rules, if the pilot had returned to Los Angeles, BA would have been facing a compensation bill of more than £100,000.’
`The Beckhams’ decision to call their baby Cruz has been branded ‘stupid’ by language experts. Cruz, which means ‘cross’ in Spanish, is an old-fashioned girls’ Christian name, they say.
It is also is commonly used as a surname, ‡ la the actress Penelope. ‘They’ll have problems in Spain because it will be seen as a name for girls,’ said Lola Oria, a Spanish language tutor at Oxford University.
‘It’s a strange thing to do to a little boy.”
‘Dracula 3000 is, supposedly, a sci-fi horror film. In practice, however, it appears to be the result of a collision of what little the director knew about those two genres, taken from what he could glean from his memory of 1970’s late night movies while his mother was out looking for a new daddy. Add in the extra challenge of trying to make a feature length film with a budget of fourteen dollars and a bag of black tar heroin, and the resulting mess is neither thought provoking, nor exciting, nor frightening, nor any other qualities that could distinguish it from ninety minutes spent looking at, say, a real-time map of local traffic conditions.’
The shockwave clips from the movie are fantastic. :) It’s not every day you hear the phrase “ejaculate all over your bazongas” in a movie.
`A man whose friends initially said he was killed by gunfire outside a Gary liquor store actually died after he donned what he thought was a bulletproof vest and asked a cohort to shoot him.
A friend then shot Daniel Wright with a .20-gauge shotgun, but it turned out the vest Wright had put on Thursday was a flak jacket not designed to stop a bullet.
Wright, 20, was mortally wounded in the shooting and died later at a Gary hospital after two of his friends drove him there.’
‘Yes! The face of Lord Jesus naturally formed by clouds’
I don’t know if I believe the “never before seen” bit. I saw it just last week. Twice.
`A North Carolina man is selling a brick that appears to feature the face of Jesus, according to Local 6 News report. [..]
Ditto Dalcher said he was sitting in his home and noticed the face above his fireplace. [..]
Dalcher noticed how much money people were making off of the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich and Jesus in a skillet and decided to share what he found, according to the report.
The bids on eBay were at $500 early Monday.’
`A Welsh rugby fan has reportedly cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby.
Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday’s match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, “If Wales win I’ll cut my balls off”, the Daily Mirror reported today.
Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.
But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 metres back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.’
‘These authentic photographs resemble the image of Jesus. They were taken in the year 2001 and are date stamped accordingly and can be yours. The negatives for these photographs mysteriously disappeared. There are two photo’s that depict the image as they appeared on the mirror and the third photo that shows an enlargement of the image as it appears in the center of the mirror. The image was discovered one day as the mirror steamed up.’
I should start up a seperate web page titled “Stupid People finding Stupid Jesus in Stupid Places”. There’s a lot of it going on these days..
‘A Texan family say they have found the image of Jesus in their frying pan.
Juan Pastrano, wife Mary-Lou and son Juan Jnr made the discovery when they went to wash up after a fry-up at their home in Prairie Lea.
Now they are keeping the pan in a sealed plastic bag while they decided what to do with it.’
Seriously, no one owns stupidpeoplestupidjesus.com yet. I could be on to a winner.
`There’s no getting around it. At some point in your career, your patience will be tested with a stupid client who is so clueless that you’ll question your sanity, career choice, and the future of mankind.
You may have dealt with one already, one that just stuns you like a deer in headlights. Dumbfounded to utter anything but an “uhhh…”. Some clients have no concept of reality. They make up their mind, just to change it again to an even more hideous decision. And will end up blaming you for the mess. Can we honestly blame the client? Sure we can…’
‘Four employees of a health care company have been fired for refusing to take a test to determine whether they smoke cigarettes.
Weyco Inc., a health benefits administrator based in Okemos, Mich., adopted a policy Jan. 1 that allows employees to be fired if they smoke, even if the smoking happens after business hours or at home. [..]
Chief Financial Officer Gary Climes estimated that 18 to 20 of the company’s 200 employers were smokers when the policy was announced in 2003. Of those, as many as 14 quit smoking before the policy went into effect. The company offered them help to kick the habit.
“That is absolutely a victory,” Climes said.’
An absolute victory for fascism, at least. :)
‘A mob in northeast Nigeria has beaten a government official to death after he was accused of causing a man’s penis to disappear, police said on Wednesday.’
`Most devotees drink the midstream of their morning urine. Some prefer it straight and steaming hot; others mix it with juice or serve it over fruit. Some prefer a couple of urine drops mixed with a tablespoon of water applied sublingually several times a day. Some wash themselves in their own golden fluid to improve their skin quality.’
‘Convinced he needed discipline, David’s father, Ken, felt the solution lay in a goal that he didn’t himself achieve, Eagle Scout, which requires 21 merit badges. David earned a merit badge in Atomic Energy in May 1991, five months shy of his 15th birthday. By now, though, he had grander ambitions.
He was determined to irradiate anything he could, and decided to build a neutron “gun.” To obtain radioactive materials, David used a number of cover stories and concocted a new identity.’
`In every single one of the 173 cases, both parents scored at least twelve points lower on the second IQ test [compared to a test taken before conception], with the majority of parents losing twenty or more IQ points.
“This explains why every parent thinks their child is the smartest kid in class or the best athlete, even if that child is as dumb as a box of rocks or needs a calendar to time their forty-yard dash. People who before were intelligent and open-minded turn into raving lunatics who want to blame a teacher or coach every time their mediocre child fails,” said [some scientist].’
`A 6-foot-tall, 275-pound bearded man crashed a children’s birthday party in Oak Forest, identified himself as “vengeance,” then helped himself to a piece of cake, police said.
When the owner of the home asked the man who he was, the intruder replied, “I am vengeance. I am the knight. I am Batman.” [..]
After continued questioning by the homeowner, the man left the house and drove off in a red 1988 Cadillac.’
`Robert Howell handed the cashier a note reading: “Give me the money, please. I’ve got a knife,” a court heard.
He then waited in the queue at Pontypridd, south Wales, as she served other customers lining up behind him.
Howell was still waiting 10 minutes later when police arrived to arrest him.’
`This week pool boy Juan from Thailand crafts a serviceable vagina from a succulent fruit of the gourd family!’
with pictures.
`Police say the property was gutted in the blaze caused by Tatsuo Onishi lighting a cigarette after spraying pesticide outside.
One consolation for unlucky Tatsuo is that police believe the mosquito was killed in the fire.’
`I am cobra commander, supreme commander of all cobra forces.’
16 meg Quicktime.
