`A burglar was spared a stiff prison term — after a judge heard he was permanently aroused down below.
Maurice Baumann, 32, was given a year in a German jail for robbing homes in a British Army garrison town.
But he avoided the cells when he was admitted to hospital with an emergency case of priapism — a condition which keeps the manhood ever-ready for sex.
A clinical report showed he suffered from either “semi” or “maximum rigidity” at all times.
Baumann has been prescribed drugs, acupuncture and even wide trousers to hide his embarrassment.’
`A motorist drove for 60 miles at speeds of 135mph after the accelerator on his BMW car jammed and his brakes failed.
Kevin Nicolle, 26, was on the A1 near Thirsk in North Yorkshire when the car started to accelerate.
“I was in tears most of the time on the phone to the police – I really could see myself dying,” he told the BBC. [..]
“I hit the brakes. They were braking ok, they were keeping me at about 70mph.
“So I phoned up the police after I called the AA and they said straight away ‘stick your hazard lights on and headlights on – we’ve got a helicopter en route to you’.”‘
`A wrecking crew in New York City punched a hole in the wrong building, forcing startled tenants to evacuate, city officials said.
A crane operator Saturday put a 10-foot gash in the foundation of a three-story building in Queens that had not been scheduled for any work, the New York Daily News reported Sunday.
“As soon as I heard a big bang, I woke up,” said Andrew Albarracin, who lives on the second floor of the building. “I hear the banging every day, so I went back to sleep. But this was louder than before. Next thing I knew, I woke up to a fireman at my door telling me I have to evacuate.”‘
`A German man playing with his brother’s Jack Russell was hospitalised after the dog sunk its teeth into his penis.
Daniel Dietmaier, from Dueren, said the dog nearly bit it off and after his brother’s girlfriend told it to “attack” as a joke.
He is demanding substantial damages, saying the woman did not even helped him as he lay on the floor in agony after beating off the dog – because she had collapsed on the floor laughing.’
`A retired salesman alleged a stripper and her friend beat and robbed him in his home. John Skinner, 54, said he was on his way to Bible study on Jan. 23 when exotic dancer Maureen Murphy, 25, knocked on his door and offered him a free strip-o-gram.
Murphy said a friend had already paid for the show, police said.
When Skinner agreed to let her perform, knife wielding Richard Adam, 23, allegedly forced his way inside and told Skinner he owed Murphy, owner of Bikini Assassins, and another woman money for earlier services.’
`Michael Jackson has been ordered to shut down his Neverland Valley Ranch by California authorities who have fined the pop star ,000 (,700) for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance. [..]
Fryer said local animal welfare officials had been asked to care for the inhabitants of Neverland’s zoo.
He said that Jackson could reopen the ranch if he obtains workers compensation insurance but may face legal action by the state if he fails to pay the back wages.’
‘A white powdery substance has local people asking what it is and where did it come from.
Last Friday, the rain and snow came down with a powdery yucky substance. [..]
The dust is being blamed for a power outage in Idaho Falls on Monday evening. The power was out in the area of Sunnyside and Woodruff.
Power workers says the dirt created an arc across the insulators. It acts like a groundwire and shorted out the power. The power crews rerouted the power, but Tuesday morning, they’ll have to fix the insulators.’
`An extraordinary family who walk on all fours are being hailed as the breakthrough discovery which could shed light on the moment Man first stood upright.
Scientists believe that the five brothers and sisters found in Turkey could hold unique insights into human evolution.
The Kurdish siblings, aged between 18 and 34 and from the rural south, ‘bear crawl’ on their feet and palms.
Study of the five has shown the astonishing behaviour is not a hoax and they are largely unable to walk otherwise.’
`Leroy Donald Johnson was caught this weekend in a barn with his pants down, literally, according to a sheriff’s office report.
“You caught me … I tried to (expletive) your sheep,” Johnson told his neighbor, according to the report.
But the Mesa Fire Department deputy fire chief changed his story when a sheriff’s deputy arrived on his doorstep minutes later, denying anything happened.’
`On February 22, a Sweden-based Mac enthusiast set his Mac Mini as a server and invited hackers to break through the computer’s security and gain root control, which would allow the attacker to take charge of the computer and delete files and folders or install applications.
Within hours of going live, the “rm-my-mac” competition was over. The challenger posted this message on his Web site: “This sucks. Six hours later this poor little Mac was owned and this page got defaced”.
The hacker that won the challenge, who asked ZDNet Australia to identify him only as “gwerdna”, said he gained root control of the Mac in less than 30 minutes.’
`Thirty new terrorist organizations have emerged since the September 11, 2001, attacks, outpacing U.S. efforts to crush the threat, said Brig. Gen. Robert L. Caslen, the Pentagon’s deputy director for the war on terrorism.
“We are not killing them faster than they are being created,” Gen. Caslen told a gathering at the Woodrow Wilson Center yesterday, warning that the war could take decades to resolve.
Gen. Caslen said that two years ago the Department of Defense had not settled on a clear definition of the nature of the war. Moreover, because each government department had its own perspective, “we all had different strategies,” he said.
The Defense Department now has defined the nature of the war, he said. The enemy, he said, is “a transnational movement of extremist organizations, networks and individuals that use violence and terrorism as a means to promote their end.” It is not a global insurgency, the general said.’
`A hamster died, but no people were harmed Wednesday morning when a hot plate ignited a fire in a Salem home’s garage. [..]
Investigators learned that a 3-year-old girl visiting her grandmother was observing a hamster in its cage in the garage. The hamster cage was placed on a hot plate that was plugged in. The girl turned on the hot plate and the hamster cage caught fire, and fire spread to the rest of the garage.
Damage was estimated at $10,000. Holmstrom said the public should remember that portable heating devices always should be kept unplugged when not in use.’
The article doesn’t appear to say it anywhere, but the title somehow suggests to me that the hamster probably didn’t make it. :)
`The lawyer for a State College man charged with the murder of a man found bludgeoned to death in his home said it could be a matter of self-defense.
The lawyer for Andrew Rogers, 28, said his client was being robbed in his own home, and a person has the right to use deadly force when that happens. [..]
Police said Rogers said he woke up to find himself on top of the victim. On Monday, he went to a police station in Uniontown, more than 100 miles away, and said there might be a body in his kitchen.’
`Chris Fromont is feeling strong, his wife says, despite losing both his legs and an arm in a tree shredder last week.
But as the 48-year-old waits for his fourth operation, an investigation into his horrific accident has led to more safety concerns.’
`A Quebec teen with a severe peanut allergy did not die from kissing her boyfriend following his snack of peanut butter, a coroner has confirmed.
Michel Miron says the sudden death of fifteen-year-old Christina Desforges in November 2005 was not caused by a peanut butter sandwich.
The tragedy made headlines around the world.
Miron would not reveal the official cause of the teenager’s death because he said he hadn’t yet submitted his final report and is still waiting on some test results.’
follow up to .. something I posted months ago but can’t find now ’cause my search thingy seems to be a bit stupid. Or badly configured, in which case I’m a bit stupid. :)
`A teen who pinched and twisted another boy’s nipple while standing in line at a deli has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention because he refused to write a letter that explained his actions.
David Thumler, 16, was convicted of offensive physical touching in July 2005, after the victim’s parents complained to police. The Crater High School student paid a $67 fine and served three days of community service.
“I emptied trash cans, mowed lawns and shoveled gravel,” Thumler said.
But Thumler’s refusal to comply with the final piece of his sentence will cost him four days in detention. He was required to write the letter during four classes put on by Mediation Works, which operates the victim-offender program for Jackson County Community Justice.’
`A motorist has been fined £80 for making offensive gestures towards a speed camera as he drove home from work.
Simon Thompson, 41, extended his middle finger at the mobile speed camera as he passed it whilst driving safely under the speed limit. Simon, from Colchester in Essex was astonished when half an hour later the two policemen who had been operating the camera knocked on his front door. The officers handed Simon a fixed penalty notice for £80 for making offensive gestures under the Public Order Act.’
`A company that fired a 13-year employee as his wife lay dying of brain cancer has offered the Pennsylvania man his job back.
Rug Doctor said the company has offered back pay and no break in seniority to former sales representative Bernard Chippie. But it’s unclear if he will take the carpet-cleaning company up on its offer.
“I don’t think the offer is one of compassion. They’re afraid of what I might do (a lawsuit),” he told The Tribune-Democrat.’
`Ground-based astronomy could be impossible in 40 years because of pollution from aircraft exhaust trails and climate change, an expert says.
Aircraft condensation trails – known as contrails – can dissipate, becoming indistinguishable from other clouds.
If trends in cheap air travel continue, says Professor Gerry Gilmore, the era of ground astronomy may come to an end much earlier than most had predicted.’
`They paid down some debt. The balance on their JCPenney Platinum MasterCard had gotten to an unhealthy level. So they sent in a large payment, a check for $6,522.
And an alarm went off. A red flag went up. The Soehnges’ behavior was found questionable.
And all they did was pay down their debt. They didn’t call a suspected terrorist on their cell phone. They didn’t try to sneak a machine gun through customs.
They just paid a hefty chunk of their credit card balance. And they learned how frighteningly wide the net of suspicion has been cast. [..]
They were told, as they moved up the managerial ladder at the call center, that the amount they had sent in was much larger than their normal monthly payment. And if the increase hits a certain percentage higher than that normal payment, Homeland Security has to be notified. And the money doesn’t move until the threat alert is lifted.’
`WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.’
`The mother of a disabled teen complained to the American Civil Liberties Union after she and her son were kicked out of a movie theater because he was laughing too loudly.
Susan Brown said she and her 19-year-old son, Matt, were asked to leave an AMC Woodlands 20 theater during a showing of “The Pink Panther” Sunday. An AMC spokeswoman said several patrons complained about the teen’s outbursts. [..]
“Here’s a child that was laughing at a comedy,” she said. “His way of expressing delight and joy at this movie was laughing, but because his communication technique got in the way of someone else’s space, he had to leave.”‘
`A Baton Rouge hospital, hoping to get to the bottom of an office prank, is ordering 25 employees to undergo DNA testing or be terminated.
Leaders at Woman’s Hospital say a man who works in Building Operations returned from several weeks off to find that someone had placed urine in his toolbox.
After hearing of the incident, hospital administrators sent a memo to 25 employees who also work there telling them that DNA testing would be done unless someone came forward admitting guilt. Since no one came forward, the hospital said the DNA testing will begin within the next few weeks.’
`A 12-year-old visitor to the Detroit Institute of Arts stuck a wad of gum to a $1.5 million painting, leaving a stain the size of a quarter, officials say.
The boy was part of a school group from Holly that visited the museum on Friday, officials say. They say he took a piece of Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice gum out of his mouth and stuck it on Helen Frankenthaler’s “The Bay,” an abstract painting from 1963.
The museum acquired the work in 1965 and says it is worth about $1.5 million.’
`A relative discovered a 23-year-old man dead in the front seat of a car Friday still embracing a dead 17-year-old girl.
Their nude bodies were inside a closed garage in the front seat of a 1978 Cutlass. They had apparently been having sex when they were overcome by carbon monoxide, 12 News reported.
The medical examiner said the deaths appear accidental.’
A compilation of all sorts of pinata silliness.
(2.4meg Windows Media)
`A phone repair worker who is in transition from male to female said Tuesday that she was arrested three times by transit police in the last six months for using the women’s restroom at Grand Central Terminal.
Helena Stone, 70, said an officer called her “a freak, a weirdo and the ugliest woman in the world” and warned her, “If I ever see you in the women’s bathroom, I’m going to arrest you.”
“I said, ‘That’s the only bathroom I use,'” Stone said at a rally and news conference. “‘That’s who I am.'”‘
‘If you’re going to ride your bike down the side of a mountain, lets hope you remembered to tighten all the bolts when you put the bike back together the night before your big ride.’
Especially if you’re doing ~170km/hr.
see it here »
`Police in Orlando, Fla., are searching for a group of men who attacked and robbed a woman ice cream truck driver of food and items, according to a Local 6 News report. [..]
As she attempted to serve the man from the truck, he reached in and grabbed some ice cream from the cooler, the report said.
Moments later, a group of men rushed the truck, opened the door and stole her cell phone and sunglasses.
Another man pulled a cooler from the truck, and when the woman tried to stop him, he punched her in the face.’
`An appeal from the Catholic Church for New Zealanders to boycott an episode of South Park has resulted in a record audience there for the controversial cartoon.
The “Bloody Mary” episode of South Park drew more than six times the normal audience, New Zealand broadcaster TV Works announced Thursday.
The episode, which aired Wednesday night, was seen by 210,000 viewers, according to Rick Friesen, the broadcaster’s chief operating officer.
“I expected a bit of a rise, but not that much,” he told the Associated Press.’
