`Drinking your own urine? Orland Park police have no problem with that.
But drink it in a front-page newspaper article while wearing your crossing guard uniform complete with official police insignia, and there will be problems.
Ed Danis, the 84-year-old Orland Park “urine therapy” devotee featured in a Jan. 29 Southtown story, has been suspended from his job as a crossing guard, effective Wednesday.
Orland Park Police Chief Tim McCarthy, whose department oversees the part-time guards, said Danis had been warned in writing twice before that he was not allowed to espouse his beliefs while on duty or in his uniform.’
`A New York City teenager fell out the window of a moving bus while using the restroom Tuesday and landed on the New York State Thruway.
State police said Jose Gonzales, 17, lost his balance when the chartered bus swerved to change lanes. It was unclear how fast the bus was going.’
lKt `In this clip the Navy is test firing a missile. The way it stalls is really funny for some reason. This scene could be out of a cartoon.’
(540kB Windows Media)
see it here »
`The Frenchwoman who received the world’s first partial face transplant showed off her new features to the public today, saying in a heavily slurred voice that she now looks “like everyone else” and hopes to resume a normal life. [..]
She said she was passed out when the dog bit her, and she did not immediately realize the extent of her disfigurement when she awoke.
“When I woke up, I tried to light a cigarette, and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t hold it between my lips,” she said. “That’s when I saw the pool of blood and the dog next to me. I looked at myself in the mirror, and there, horrified, I couldn’t believe what I saw — especially because it didn’t hurt. Ever since this day, my life has changed.”
The dog was euthanized.’
with video.
follow-up to My strange life with someone else’s face.
`An 80-year-old worker at a shuttered southern Illinois petting zoo has died at an Indiana hospital after being mauled by one of the zoo’s black bears.
Tom Phillips’ daughter-in-law said the man had continued to work at the Spotted Acres farm and petting zoo just outside Flora, Ill., since it closed to the public a couple years ago.
Deb Phillips said her father-in-law was trying to corral an escaped black bear Wednesday night with a bag of dog food when the bear attacked.’
bayjF`Angry families stormed fences at Hong Kong Disneyland and tossed their children over gates Thursday after the theme park sold out for an eighth consecutive day, according to a Local 6 News report.
The uproar outside Disney’s theme park followed similar chaos on Wednesday when hundreds of disgruntled visitors, many having made the trip from mainland China, were furious that their Lunar New Year vacation to Hong Kong was ruined.’
`Two police officers are minus their patrol car after it was hit by a coal train following a pursuit near Newcastle early today.
Police say the incident happened at 2.45am (AEDT) when they chased a Holden Commodore with stolen registration plates in Metford, an outer suburb of Maitland. [..]
The police car became stuck on railway tracks before one officer followed the two offenders.
The other got out of the patrol car when he saw the train approaching.’
`A sailor who sent a message out to sea in a bottle says he received a reply from England – accusing him of littering. “I kind of felt like no good deed goes unpunished,” Harvey Bennett, 55, told the East Hampton Star. [..]
Last week, he excitedly opened a letter from England, and was stunned by the reply:
“I recently found your bottle while taking a scenic walk on the beach by Poole Harbour. While you may consider this some profound experiment on the path and speed” of “oceanic currents, I have another name for it, litter.”
“You Americans don’t seem to be happy unless you are mucking about somewhere,” says the letter, signed by Henry Biggelsworth of Bournemouth, in Dorset County.’
`Aric Jackson didn’t know a thing about the man who’d just called him a “nigger.” Didn’t know he was a Cleveland cop. Didn’t know he’d been accused of handing out white-supremacist literature in this very bar. All Jackson knew was that he was in for the fight of his life, because his girlfriend was white.’
`U.S. officials didn’t apologize Wednesday but said they’re investigating a “regrettable” incident in which soldiers fired at a car carrying four Canadian diplomats in Baghdad.
Canadians are disputing a U.S. version of events, saying a military convoy fired at them without warning, with one bullet coming dangerously close. No one was injured.’
`Depending on who you talk to, a political aide who cleaned up a non-political mess deserves either a gold star or a slap on the wrist.
Mike Patton took on extra duties last Thursday when he mopped up what he called a “poo apocalypse” in a downtown public library.
Thursday afternoon, a patron of the Ottawa Public Library opened the men’s bathroom door to discover a toilet seat and surrounding floor covered in feces.
“Clearly someone was not feeling well and had a bit of a diarrhea issue, and it was all over the seat and the floor and the toilet, in the stall area,” said Patton, who revisited the scene of the grime with CBC on Tuesday.’
`Seven teenagers were hospitalized briefly Sunday after the group became sick from eating brownies laced with marijuana at a Montpelier home, Montpelier Police said. [..]
Police said when they arrived, there were no adults present and there had been an underage party. Authorities said they found no alcohol, but learned the seven teens made and ate the pot brownies.
Because police were initially unsure what was in the brownies, the seven teenagers were taken to Central Vermont Hospital, where they were treated and released to their parents, police said.’
‘Self-described vampire and Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Jonathan “The Impaler” Sharkey has been arrested on Indiana charges of stalking and escape. [..]
Princeton police said their search discovered the May 2005 warrants that led to Sharkey’s arrest Monday. [..]
Among his proposals was one that would use impalement to execute murderers, rapists and terrorists.
“As governor,” Sharkey said, “terrorists and criminals will live in fear of me, while the people of this state will be able to live fear free.”‘
BoingBoing has a picture of the vampire. I know I’m scared.
followup to Vampire seeks governor’s job.
dJeR ksTI QFZsLVTF`A German newspaper has apologised for accidentally placing a utility company advertisement for “the gas of tomorrow” inside a full-page story on the Nazi killing of Sinti (Gypsy) people in Auschwitz concentration camp.
The Landeszeitung Lueneburg said on its website today it had not noticed that the article about a local exhibition describing the fate of the Sinti in Hitler’s Germany appeared on the same page as an advert for utility company E.ON which read: “E.ON is taking care of the gas of tomorrow, today.”‘
`Microsoft founder Bill Gates, the world’s richest man, said the tax office in the US has to store his financial data on a special computer because his fortune is so vast.
“My tax return in the United States has to be kept on a special computer because their normal computers can’t deal with the numbers,” he said at a Microsoft conference held in Lisbon.
“So I am constantly getting these notices telling me I haven’t paid something when really it is just on the wrong computer,” he added in comments broadcast on television.
“Then they will send me another notice telling me how bad they feel they that they sent me a notice that was a mistake,” he said’
GE Hbq bBZZF`An alleged thief was hit for six by a flying tackle after a group of Palmerston North cricket players chased him down on Saturday.
The 17-year-old man, accused of stealing a car stereo, was knocked off his bicycle when United Cricket Club premier three opening bowler Jonny Kawana put in his king hit. [..]
“He squealed like a little girl when I hit him.
“I picked him up and threw him on the footpath and he froze. I had to hold myself back.”‘
`Users of Advanced Micro Devices Inc.’s (AMD’s) microprocessors may want to think twice before looking for technical support on the company’s Web site. Customer support discussion forums on the forums.amd.com site have been compromised and are being used in an attempt to infect visitors with malicious software, an AMD spokesman confirmed Monday. [..]
Attackers have figured out a way to use AMD’s forums to deliver maliciously encoded WMF images to visitors, which are then used to install unauthorized software on the unpatched systems, he said. [..]
How the attackers were able to compromise the AMD forums is unclear. [..]’
`A swastika drawn on a sleeping inmate’s forehead as a prank escalated into a fight between members of a white supremacist gang and other prisoners that left eight inmates and two guards injured, a report says. [..]
The violence culminated in the Dec. 27 fight at Pickaway Correctional Institution in which five members of the Aryan Brotherhood battled the prankster and five others with locks hooked to belts and a sharpened broomstick.’
avGlhyxQzZRT TT rouJ yWep`A clumsy visitor to a Cambridge museum has destroyed a set of priceless 300-year-old Chinese vases after tripping on his shoelace.
The three Qing vases, dating from the late 17th or early 18th century, had stood on a windowsill at the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, southeast England, for at least 40 years. Their prominent position made them among its best known artefacts, the UK Daily Telegraph reported today. [..]
Steve Baxter, another visitor who saw the accident, was quoted as saying: “We watched the man fall as if in slow motion. He landed in the middle of the vases and they splintered into a million pieces.’
`A $37 million jet fighter belonging to the United States military has been lost at sea during a training exercise in Queensland. The jet was attempting a night landing on the flight deck of the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan on Saturday.
The pilot ejected safely and was rescued by the ship’s helicopter, but the FA-18 Hornet strike fighter was unlikely to be retrieved from the ocean, US officials confirmed.
The accident happened when the aircraft carrier was 400 kilometres south-east of Brisbane, ABC television reported.’
`In a tragic case of mistaken identity, police shot and critically wounded an off-duty officer as he pointed a gun at a suspect outside a fast food restaurant early Saturday, authorities said.
Eric Hernandez, 24, was hit three times and was hospitalized in extremely critical condition, Mayor Michael Bloomberg said.’
QO Da ZAn sdSfAqkM IUMRc `When you first meet 4-year-old Roberto Salazar, you can’t help but notice his unwavering smile and constant laughter. By all accounts, he’s a very happy boy.
It is only when he rams his head violently into walls or plays a little too roughly with a schoolmate, all the while smiling, that you are reminded that he suffers from an incredibly rare genetic disorder.
Roberto is one of 17 people in the United States with “congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis,” referred to as CIPA by the few people who know about it.’
ed geulThT NxiM N Tl LI E wjIm‘A routine trip down the elevator to a parking garage that would have started the weekend instead turned into a terrifying ordeal for five people when their elevator plunged five levels and hit the bottom floor. [..]
The three men and two women inside the hydraulic elevator were taken to nearby Mount Sinai Hospital and St. Michael’s Hospital with serious compression fractures and broken legs and ankles, emergency officials said.
Emergency crews arrived at the 14-storey building about three minutes after the first call. But they had to frantically run underground to the elevator, which had stopped at the fifth and lowest level below the lobby, because ambulance and fire trucks could not go down the ramp to the garage.’
‘Trembicky.com is a site where tenants can share horror stories about lousy landlords they’ve had.’
`The USS Ronald Reagan can single-handedly take on a nation’s armed forces but met its match in Moreton Bay’s jellyfish.
The slimy invertebrates were being sucked into the 97,000 tonne ship at such a rate generators were constantly switched over and local fire crews placed on stand-by as the creatures disabled full on-board capacities. [..]
The world’s largest aircraft carrier was due to leave Brisbane at 8am today after the 6000 crew enjoyed five days of shore leave.
The jellyfish have exposed the giant ship’s weakness, a humble button, screw or piece of litter can bring the 332-metre behemoth to a standstill. ‘
`When twenty-seven year old Henry M. entered the hospital in 1953 for radical brain surgery that was supposed to cure his epilepsy, he was hopeful that the procedure would change his life for the better. Instead, it trapped him in a mental time warp where TV is always a new invention and Truman is forever president. The removal of large sections of his temporal lobes left Henry unable to form any new personal memories, but his tragic loss revolutionized the field of psychology and made “H.M.” the most-studied individual in the history of brain research.’
`A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city of Barranquilla said on Tuesday.
After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police said.’
sOBvw UITHdFXY FHLi `Migrant workers in south China are wearing adult diapers on packed trains heading home for the Lunar New Year holiday because they have no access to a toilet, state media said on Tuesday.
About 120 million peasants from China’s vast rural areas swarm the cities for work and all try to make it home for the holiday, filling all standing room on trains and making access to the toilet impossible during trips often lasting 24 hours or more.’
`Maybe I’m childish, but Asse has got to be one of the worst and/or funniest names for chocolate candy that I have come across yet (though Crunky and “Must Be Sexy” are pretty funny too). Asse is a Japanese candy made by Morinaga. It comes in a pack of 18 pieces that are shaped like Andes mints only a little larger. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the package because the picture on the package looks a bit like peanut butter in the center. It turns out it’s a nougat-like candy like a 3 Musketeers or Milky Way only a little drier. It’s got a faint flavor I can’t quite make out though – almost malty. The chocolate is a darker chocolate than most candies have so it’s just a little bitter (but tasty). I really liked the Asse a lot – it’s good stuff. My wife tried it too and didn’t like it at all. (Yeah, yeah – fill in your own joke here).’
