`The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide ‘play by play’ of the incident. After telling them the story, he promised to send them a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server.’
(1.5meg .mp3)
dr QiXV t kzhXfXiJm`A Swedish woman said on Sunday that she had found a penis in a bottle of ketchup.
Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children, Madeleine and Simon.
“It looked like a penis, of an adult if it’s human, and medium sized,” she said.’
‘Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said on Thursday he has not decided whether to attend an international security conference next week in Germany, where he might be subject to arrest on a war-crimes complaint. [..]
He conceded in response to questions at a press conference that one problem was the jurisdiction of a German court over a 160-page criminal complaint filed Nov. 30 with the federal prosecutor’s office in Germany accusing him of war crimes in connection with detainee abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.’
I hope he goes, and I hope the Germans put him in jail and get prostitutes to menstruate on him. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, afterall.
`The court order clearly stated that Barclays was being asked to stump up a colossal £748 trillion in compensation to the former owner of a Spanish bank it acquired 25 years ago.
Last night Spanish court officials said an investigation was under way to discover whether a monumental clerical error was to blame, as suspected, for the number of noughts in the compensation figure. [..]
The amount – €1.1 quadrillion (a quadrillion is 1 followed by 15 zeros) – is the equivalent of 1,400 times Spain’s gross domestic product, or the wealth Spaniards could generate in 1,000 years.’
DSUt x gi wDDEZaUDdcu‘A woman today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her. [..]
In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: “I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.
“Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”
Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh [..] Mr Jones said: “I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, ‘That’s yours’, and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand.”‘
This search string pops up hundreds of unprotected webcams around the world. At the moment I’m looking at the foyer of some building somewhere. It’s empty. :)
I think it’s hit the mainstream news today some time, so people might start tightening up their camera security.
Probably not tho. You know what people are like. :)
And! It seems some of the cameras can actually be controlled. I think I just pointed someone’s surveillance camera at a different building.. :)
‘A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex. [..]
He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported. Mayor Anghel said: “The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.”‘
TYR qWuv mF o‘The French manufacturer Renault is to go to the courts to protect its reputation after a motorist claimed to have been forced to drive at nearly 200 kilometres per hour (125 mph) because of a fault with his car’s speed regulator, the company said Thursday.’
followup to Runaway Car Races Along French Highways.
‘A motorist in France went a little faster than he wanted when he claimed his cruise control got stuck, leaving him barreling down a busy highway at 120 mph and forcing police to help clear a route.
[..] He couldn’t cut the ignition, he said, because his car has a magnetic card instead of a key.’
az pKZP PH kK RW c‘A Romanian surgeon has been suspended after allegedly cutting a patient’s penis into several pieces.
He was supposed to be operating on the man to lower a testicle into his scrotum when he accidentally cut the urinary channel.
It’s reported the surgeon then lost his temper and cut the man’s penis into several pieces.’
Italics are mine. Never piss off a surgeon, I s’pose. :)
`A hotel was evacuated because of a suspected bomb – which turned out to be a lesbian couple’s DIY baby-making kit. [..]
A hotel source said: “Everyone thought it was funny, but they were mortified.”‘
`A south suburban Chicago wedding reception comes to a shocking end when cops responding to a call about loud noise allegedly attack the bride and her father with a taser gun.’
EqH ETb cUSDaJL‘A man who believed he was a pirate at sea when he was actually a prisoner in the Dunedin police cells has been admitted to Dunedin Hospital after his drug-induced pyschosis failed to wear off. [..]
Police inquiries have revealed that on Saturday the man drank the juice of a garden plant [containing mescalin]’
followup to Naked ‘Pirate’ arrested in NZ.
`Organic arsenic compounds have been detected in rice harvested at farms in Kamisu, Ibaraki Prefecture, where the Imperial Japanese Army dumped chemical weapons, the Environment Ministry said Thursday.
Diphenylarsine, found in the rice, is contained in sneezing gas, which was apparently abandoned by the Imperial army during World War II.’
‘Doctors at a Romanian hospital want police to help them find a man who fled after being told he’d have to have his penis cut off.
Staff at the hospital in Pitesti in the south of the country say gangrene had set in.’
`A teacher enforcing school regulations on haircuts snipped one girl’s locks to ear’s length Thursday but ended up lopping off a chunk of her ear as well, police said. [..]
[Some plastic surgeon said] that half of the earlobe was severed, and could not be reattached because the girl did not get proper medical attention quickly enough.’
`A Kansas City police officer shockingly discovered recently that wearing a Taser in a heavy rainstorm could result in his being, well, shocked. [..]
“They told me anytime heavy water penetrates the battery cover, there could be an electrical short, which could cause the weapon to discharge on its own,” [some policeman] said.’
