Posts tagged as: wtf?

handbook

Monday, February 11, 2008

 

rapist Salaries – Free Salary Search

They earn more than I do.


Friday, February 8, 2008

 

Jogger attacked with a Mars bar

‘A jogger was injured after being hit by a frozen Mars bar hurled from a passing car.
The man was running along Sunderland Road, South Shields, when the rock-hard chocolate bar was thrown at him.

Police said the car – a black Nissan or Toyota – then turned round, drove back past the shocked man, and its occupants threw another object at him before driving off.

The bizarre incident, which resulted in the man suffering a swollen ankle, happened at about 10.30am yesterday.’


feed

How is babby formed?

it was on the news mroing.


report

Thursday, February 7, 2008

 

Schoolgirl who filmed herself ‘trying to kill her parents’ is cleared of attempted murder

‘A troubled schoolgirl who filmed herself as she tried to strangle her mother and then stab her father was today cleared of attempted murder. [..]

The girl was remanded to a secure psychiatric unit for teenagers until her sentence. [..]

It was following an argument with her father last February that the girl, then 15, came into the living room from her bedroom at the family’s home.

She had with her a video recorder which she set up on the arm of a chair so that it was trained on her mum who was sitting at a computer.

The girl, described as highly intelligent and theatrical, with a keen interest in film making, drama and writing, had dressed herself especially for the occasion.

She was wearing a seductive strappy silk nightdress for what the prosecution was to describe in court as “the performance of her life.”

She had brushed out her long brown hair and applied make up to make herself look glamorous film star.’


Don’t Do the Dew

‘Tucson porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry wants you to know that blowing your load on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they’re participating in a facial cream marketing study is not fraud or any other crime, no matter what the Arizona Court of Appeals said last month. He also wants you to know he was framed. [..]

In the summer of 2000, Roach was assigned to prosecute Tyrone Henry after two teenage girls said he lured them to his home to try out a product called “White Dew” facial cream he was developing. Instead of exfoliation, they said they got ejaculation.

The girls, 15 and 16 years old at the time, said Henry showed them examples of women with “clumpy” white cream on their faces and then blindfolded them. The girls said they heard heavy breathing and Henry say, “It’s coming,” and then felt a thick, warm substance applied to their faces. They said he took photos, paid them $10 a piece and convinced them to make follow-up appointments. Thinking about it later, they realized they’d been hoodwinked and called the police.

Roach admits the hardest part of the case was figuring out what charge he could hang on Henry. It wasn’t sexual assault because he didn’t touch the girls sexually, and they didn’t touch him. And it wasn’t indecent exposure because the girls were blindfolded. [..]

In the end, the only charge Roach could get to stick was “fraudulent scheme and artifice.” [..]’


international

Police Officers Exchange Gunfire With Each Other

‘Officials say two officers were shot in Gwinnett County Friday afternoon. One officer is accused of trying to assault a woman and then opening fire on another officer who tried to stop it.

Investigators from the Gwinnett, Fulton and Duluth Police Departments are all involved and looking into the circumstances around what appears to be a gun battle between two police officers. [..]

Sheldt came back around to see if he could help. “Her car window was busted out and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She said she just needed help and that the gentleman tried to rape her,” said Sheldt. [..]

“This male we do now know and confirm he is a Duluth PD officer. At the time he was wearing civilian clothing. Other than that, we do not have any other information to give,” said Cpl. Illana Spellman with the Gwinnett County Police Department.’


trademarks

Texas mayor resigns over Shih Tzu

‘The mayor of a small town in Texas has resigned after secretly keeping her neighbour’s Shih Tzu while pretending it had died.

Neighbours had asked Alice Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez to look after the dog, Puddles, during a holiday. She called them to say it was dead.

But the dog, which Ms Saenz-Lopez had renamed Panchito, was later seen at a dog groomer’s and at her sister’s home.

A custody hearing on Monday is expected to decide who keeps the pet.’


Angry Grandpa Ruins Christmas

‘I’m grandpa!’

Followup to Angry Grandpa Pissed About Dinner.

(11.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


tools

Obese man jailed for sitting on wife who later died

‘An overweight man who crushed his wife by sitting on her during an argument so severely that she later died has received a five-year jail sentence from a court in the central German city of Hildesheim.

The court found the 50-year-old bus driver, who weighed 128kg at the time of the incident, guilty of causing injury resulting in the death of his 46-year-old wife, who weighed 63kg.

In evidence the man acknowledged arguing with his wife but claimed he had fallen on her by mistake.

Expert evidence was heard that he must have sat on her for at least two minutes.’


Silencing A Vacuum Cleaner

Certainly not the best way to go about it.

(1.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


guidelines

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

 

Hardest game ever?

That’s just stupid. 🙂

(32.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


handbook

Dog fart in a jar on eBay

‘My dog makes the stinkiest farts every know to mankind. They have been known to make people run and bugs to pass out. We have managed to trap one of them in a jar and will send it to the highest bidder. If you have a way to get it to Iraq you could possibly end the war or make Bin Lauden come out of hiding!’


Saturday, February 2, 2008

 

Worst Apology Ever

(3.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


Thursday, January 31, 2008

 

Man who used stun gun on toddler gets 46 months

‘A former Albany man has been sentenced to 46 months in prison for using a high-voltage stun gun on his 18-month-old son.

Rian Wittman was arrested in February and agreed to a plea bargain last year. The sentence was imposed Friday.

Prosecutor Reed Dinsmore said the stun gun delivered 30,000 volts during testing.

“This is a case of a father torturing his 18-month-old son,” prosecutor Reed Dinsmore said. “Why? We can’t tell.”

He said it’s not yet known whether the child will suffer long-term nerve or neurological damage. [..]

“He described to her that he used the stun gun to play peekaboo with the child,” Dinsmore said. “The mother did not report the incident, and that was a mistake on her part.”‘


feed

Monday, January 28, 2008

 

Gangs Smuggle Dwarves Onto Buses In Bags To Steal From Luggage

‘Gangs of criminals are hiding dwarves in sports bags and smuggling them onto buses to steal luggage.

The tiny terrors are placed in the luggage hold where they are free to rummage through personal belongings.

Travellers in Sweden are now being advised not to leave valuables in their bags.’


report

Driver who killed teen sues for damage

‘A speeding motorist who killed a teenage cyclist is suing the boy’s parents over damage to his luxury car, the government says.

Enaitz Iriondo, 17, died instantly in August 2004 when businessman Tomas Delgado’s Audi A8 crashed into him at 100 mph near Haro in northern Spain, an Interior Ministry traffic report said. The speed limit was 55 mph. [..]

Delgado, whose insurance company paid Iriondo’s parents $48,500 in compensation for their son’s life, filed a suit in late 2006 to recover $29,400 in damages to his car and car rental costs, the ministry traffic report said.

“It’s the only way I have to claim my money back,” Delgado was quoted as saying by the newspaper El Pais, which first reported the story on Friday. El Pais said a ruling was expected next week.

Iriondo’s parents were shocked.’


Thursday, January 24, 2008

 

Old Lady Craps In Store

(825kB Flash video)

see it here »


international

Transplant eyeball sent to pub

‘An eyeball sent from Queensland for a transplant operation in Hobart went astray this week – arriving at a pub instead of the hospital.

A hotel guest in the Tasmanian city of Hobart was shocked when he received a foam box on Tuesday night containing a single human eyeball.

The box marked “Live human organs for transplant” was delivered by mistake by an unwitting taxi driver.

Hotel worker Gabriel Winner – who requested the name of the hotel not be used – says the agitated guest brought the esky to reception early yesterday morning.

“The guy left with me with a box with an eyeball in it,” he said.

“He got the box and signed for it and opened it in the middle of the night.

“I thought this is just too weird. I went and put it in the fridge because I didn’t know what else to do with it. It was more than a little disconcerting.”

A courier arrived shortly after and took the esky away.’


trademarks

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

 

Former Felons Forced To Move From Under Bridge

‘A group of registered sex offenders and convicted felons who were told by the Department of Corrections to live under a bridge in Fort Lauderdale have been chased away by neighbors, police and the Department of Transportation.

On Friday night, police officers posted “No Trespassing” signs underneath the Oakland Park Boulevard Bridge over the intracoastal and told the former felons that if they didn’t leave they’d be arrested. The group packed up their things and headed west.

They set up a camp on the edge of the Everglades, far away from schools, parks and civilization. [..]

“Hopefully nobody’s going to complain about it and we can be left alone for a while,” said Mark DaCosta, an ex-convict who is not a sex offender but was ordered to live by the same rules as a condition of his parole.

The Department of Corrections had the men reporting to the bridge every night because they couldn’t find a place for them to live that wasn’t too close to school or park. State law prohibits sex offenders from living within 1,000 feet of anyplace children congregate. [..]’


‘Internet suicide cult’ rips apart town as SEVEN young people hang themselves

‘A small town has been rocked by the copycat suicides of seven young people.

Local people fear the hangings are linked to a chilling internet cult.

Within 24 hours of the latest death last week, two friends of the teenage girl had also attempted suicide.

Yesterday police took computer equipment from 17-year-old Natasha Randall’s home in Bridgend, South Wales.

Detectives confirmed they are investigating a possible suicide chain – the seven dead are all linked in some way although they did not all know each other.

Several of them posted personal profiles on the social networking internet site Bebo.’


tools

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

 

Psycho Lady In Coffee Shop

‘In the name of Jesus, stop it!’

(6.6meg Flash video)

see it here »


General Butt Naked confesses to nude killings

‘A former warlord known as General Butt Naked has confessed to Liberia’s post-conflict reconciliation commission that his men killed 20,000 people during the country’s civil war.

The commander earned his nom de guerre for charging into battle dressed only in his boots

The feared rebel commander earned his nom de guerre for charging into battle dressed only in his boots, at the head of a gang of fighters known as the Butt Naked Battalion.

The nude gunmen became known for terrorising villagers and sacrificing children whose hearts they would eat before going into battle during Liberia’s 14-year on-off civil war which ended in 2003. [..]

Mr Blayee returned from exile in Ghana, where he is now an evangelical Christian preacher, to face Liberia’s truth and reconciliation commission last week.’


guidelines

Soldier beheads five-year-old son

‘A soldier has been arrested in the Zimbabwean town of Chitungwiza for beheading his five-year-old son, clubbing his mother-in-law to death and attempting to kill his stepdaughter, reports said. [..]

He is reported to have had an argument with his wife in the early hours of the morning. She ran out of their bedroom and the soldier then turned on other members of the family.

“Sibanda allegedly took a hoe, which he used to slay his mother-in-law. He proceeded to chop off his son’s head using the same hoe,” police spokesman Andrew Phiri said.

“We shot him in the leg after he slit and pulled out his dead son’s intestines,” Phiri told the Sunday Mail.’


handbook

Mother Arrested In Urine-Drinking Case

‘The mother of an 8-year-old girl has been charged with two misdemeanor counts of child abuse in connection with a case involving a man accused of drinking her daughter’s urine. [..]

According to the a report in the Boulder Daily Camera, the girl’s mother told a teacher that her daughter is a child of the sun and can’t get up when it is dark outside. An arrest warrant obtained by the newspaper indicated the mother also said the girl’s eyes get “close-up X-ray vision” every night at midnight, which allows her to diagnose herself with sickle cell anemia, the warrant states. [..]

According to Cardillo’s arrest affidavit, the girl’s mother said she knew about the nudity and urine drinking, but told investigators that it wasn’t hurting anyone and she knew other people who drink urine. She said both she and Cardillo are nudists.’


Thursday, January 17, 2008

 

Police mace Greek fans at the tennis

‘An ugly confrontation between Greek tennis fans and police — in which about 30 people, including children, were affected by capsicum spray — marred the second evening of the Australian Open in Melbourne last night.

The incident occurred during a match between Greek player Konstantinos Economidis and highly ranked Chilean Fernando Gonzalez about 8.30pm.

Play was stopped for eight minutes after police discharged capsicum spray in a Greek section of the crowd at the outdoor Margaret Court Arena. The spray drifted across the court and affected the players.

“It was unpleasant for us,” said Economidis, who eventually lost the match. He said the arena “was full of people who were cheering and looked like they were enjoying the tennis and it was a really nice atmosphere”.

Gonzalez said the crowd was noisy but not offensive.

Australian Open director Craig Tiley last week announced plans for zero-tolerance policing.’


Fundamentalist Quotes

‘Gravity: Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.’


feed

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

 

Cow Drinks Its Own Milk

(2.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


report

Cops: Man sodomized stepson in revenge

‘A father sodomized his 18-year-old stepson to avenge the teenager’s alleged rape of the man’s 8-year-old daughter, police said.

The father, 32, turned himself into to authorities on Friday and was released from jail Saturday after posting a $17,500 bond. He faces a charge of aggravated sexual assault.

The stepson was arrested Jan. 2 and charged with suspicion of aggravated sexual assault. Police say the father caught him assaulting his daughter, and a subsequent examination at a hospital revealed the girl had been sodomized. [..]

“This is a very unique case, but we have a criminal justice system in place, and no one can take the law into their own hands,” Johnson said.’


Sunday, January 13, 2008

 

Polish teen derails tram after hacking train network

‘A Polish teenager allegedly turned the tram system in the city of Lodz into his own personal train set, triggering chaos and derailing four vehicles in the process. Twelve people were injured in one of the incidents.

The 14-year-old modified a TV remote control so that it could be used to change track points, The Telegraph reports. Local police said the youngster trespassed in tram depots to gather information needed to build the device. The teenager told police that he modified track setting for a prank.

“He studied the trams and the tracks for a long time and then built a device that looked like a TV remote control and used it to manoeuvre the trams and the tracks,” said Miroslaw Micor, a spokesman for Lodz police. [..]

“He treated it like any other schoolboy might a giant train set, but it was lucky nobody was killed. Four trams were derailed, and others had to make emergency stops that left passengers hurt. He clearly did not think about the consequences of his actions,” Micor added.’


international

Friday, January 11, 2008

 

Grossest Plugs Ever?

‘John cut off his nipples, cast them in resin, and wears them in his ears. This is the body modification equivalent of a fly in amber I suppose.’


trademarks