Posts tagged as: wtf?

careers

Thursday, January 10, 2008

 

Man blames car wreck on prehistoric winged reptile

‘A 29-year-old Wenatchee man told police a pterodactyl caused him to drive his car into a light pole about 11:30 p.m. Thursday.

Wenatchee police cited the man with first-degree negligent driving. A breathalyzer test showed “a minimal amount of alcohol,” said Wenatchee police Sgt. Cherie Smith.

Witnesses told police the man was northbound on Wenatchee Avenue and drifted into a southbound lane for less than a block. Oncoming traffic stopped and waited for the man to pass, Smith said.

He then totaled his car on a light pole, Smith said.’


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Man convicted of assaulting dead deer gets more jail time

‘A Superior man convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer has been sentenced to another nine months in jail.

Bryan James Hathaway, 21, had his probation revoked last month for using alcohol and marijuana, lying to his probation agent, and having unapproved contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult. [..]

He was found guilty in April 2005 of felony mistreatment of an animal after he killed a horse with the intention of having sex with it. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail and two years of extended supervision on that charge as well as six years of probation for taking and driving a vehicle without the owner’s consent.

Hathaway had just been released from prison for the killing the horse when the deer incident happened. He is appealing his conviction on the deer charge.’


Angry Grandpa Pissed About Dinner

‘Where the beef?’

(5.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


marketing

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

 

Son asks dad to shoot him; dad complies, police say

‘The boy wanted his father to look at his Xbox 360 video game system.

The father didn’t want to. An argument ensued.

The boy handed his father a rifle. Shoot me, he said.

So the father did.

State police at Fern Ridge say that scenario played out Friday night between 60-year-old James Stanley Niedosik and his 17-year-old son.

The boy ended up in Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest with a .22-caliber bullet lodged in his skull behind his ear. Niedosik ended up in Monroe County Prison on $250,000 bail, charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child.’


support

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

 

Inmate Sues Jail for Being ‘Too Easy’ to Escape From

‘A Colorado inmate who’s escaped twice from a county jail is suing because he says it was too easy for him to break out.

Scott Anthony Gomez, Jr. says guards at the jail abused him and that’s why he attempted to escape.

Gomez alleges he was seriously injured during an escape attempt in January of 2007. He alleges he fell 40 feet while trying to scale down the side of the jail.

His lawsuit says the doors on the jail cells weren’t locked and the ceiling tiles were easy to remove giving him an escape route through the ventilation system. [..]

The lawsuit is seeking an unspecified amount of money, claims authorities “did next to nothing to ensure that the jail was secure and that the Plaintiff could not escape.”‘


Sunday, January 6, 2008

 

True grit: the mum who delivered her own baby

‘Alone in her one-room cabin high in the mountains of southern Mexico, Ines Ramirez Perez felt the pounding pains of a child insistent on entering the world.

Three years earlier, she had given birth to a dead baby girl. As her labour intensified, so did her concern for this unborn child.

The sun had set hours ago. The nearest clinic was 80km away over rough roads, and her husband, her only assistant during a half-dozen previous births, was drinking at a cantina. She had no phone and neither did the cantina.

So at midnight, after 12 hours of constant pain, the petite, 40-year-old mother of six sat down on a low wooden bench. She took several gulps from a bottle of rubbing alcohol, grabbed a 15-cm knife and began to cut.

By the light of a single dim bulb, Ramirez sawed through skin, fat and muscle before reaching inside her uterus and pulling out her baby boy. She says she cut his umbilical cord with a pair of scissors, then passed out.’


forum

Son Attacked After Urinating On Mom

‘A Spartanburg mother is accused of stabbing her son several times Christmas morning, but her son is the person facing charges.

City police say it appears the mother, 45-year-old Tammy Jones, stabbed her son because he urinated on her while she slept in her bed.

21-year-old Michael Anthony Carson, nicknamed Pooh Bear, is charged with aggravated assault and battery. Police arrested him at his mother’s home on Wednesday.

City police say Jones stabbed her son six times with a butcher knife. He suffered wounds to his shoulder, calf, and chest. Witnesses in the house heard Jones say “why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?” A few moments later, the witness heard the son say “Mama you done stabbed me.”‘


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Saturday, January 5, 2008

 

Man stabs another man with pork chop bone

‘An Oklahoma man was arrested after police say he stabbed another man in the neck with a pork chop bone during a food fight.

Police in Ardmore, Oklahoma responded to call of a fight outside a local business New Year’s day. When they arrived, they found the victim covered in blood with a puncture wound to his neck.

Police arrested the suspect, 38-year-old Tony Willis a few block from the crime scene. According to authorities, Willis had blood on his clothes and they found the bone used in the attack.’


Woman doesn’t want dog in bathroom during couple’s shower

‘A 25-year-old woman was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault for getting into an argument with her boyfriend over whether his dog should be in the bathroom while the couple were taking a shower together.

A police report said the 26-year-old man wanted his dog to join them in the bathroom, but the woman objected on Thursday night.

She told him if the dog wouldn’t stay out, she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. He replied that maybe his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more, and called her a name.

The police report said the woman punched him in the face several times and the man dislocated his shoulder when the naked couple grappled. He told police his girlfriend threw a picture frame, which broke and cut him.’


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

 

Very Complicated Request, Please Kindly Read!!!

‘If you are groggy or stoned please do not read this, I need your complete and sober attention, for my request is uniquely detailed. I am a man, 35, white, black hair with brown eyes. Okay, first what I am looking for is a woman primary, but secondary it could be a woman and her man, but the man will have to remain behind the black curtain and only watch through the cut out eyeholes. The black curtain is inside the apartment that I reside in. This apartment is a fashionable studio in the hot part of town, and all my neighbors are graphic artists. So now please kindly listen to my request: what I require foremost in a woman with bushy eyebrows. And they must be TWO eyebrows, because one eyebrow is an abonination against Gaia. [..]’


mail

To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle

‘I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn’t usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.

This is where things got crazy.’


Saturday, December 22, 2007

 

Penetrating head injury in planned and repetitive deliberate self-harm

’44-year-old man presented to his local emergency department wearing a baseball cap and complaining of headaches that had progressively worsened over the preceding 11 weeks. After we provided generous analgesia and performed simple investigations that failed to identify a diagnosis, the patient removed his cap to reveal an assortment of metallic objects embedded in his scalp. Plain radiographs showed 11 nails penetrating into his brain. A detailed history revealed a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, and the patient confirmed that he had hammered a nail into his head each week for the past 11 weeks to rid him of evil. The nails were removed with the patient under general anesthesia, and he made an uncomplicated recovery with no neurological deficits.’


careers

Katzenklavier

‘A cat piano or Katzenklavier (German) is a hypothetical musical instrument consisting of a line of cats fixed in place with their tails stretched out underneath a keyboard. Nails would be placed under the keys, causing the cats to cry out in pain when a key was pressed. The cats would be arranged according to the natural tone of their voices.

The instrument was described by German physician Johann Christian Reil (1759-1813) for the purpose of treating patients who had lost the ability to focus their attention. Reil believed that if they were forced to see and listen to this instrument, it would inevitably capture their attention and they would be cured (Richards, 1998).’


privacy

Friday, December 21, 2007

 

Teens charged in 7-year-old sister’s ‘Mortal Kombat’ death

‘Two teenagers believed to be imitating the Mortal Kombat video game have been arrested and charged in the death of a 7-year- old Johnstown girl – a sister of one of the suspects. [..]

They began wrestling and enacting a game of Mortal Kombat, court affidavits say. Zoe lost consciousness after being hit, kicked and body-slammed to the floor. [..]

A witness quoted in an affidavit said Roberts told her he had kicked the girl and that his hands were “lethal weapons.”

The witness said Roberts performed a back kick and the girl didn’t get up. He said he and Trujillo “cracked an egg in her mouth . . . in an attempt to see if she was messing around with them” by faking unconsciousness.

The witness said she asked Roberts whether Zoe had asked them to stop. “Yeah, she told me to stop,” he said. Asked why he didn’t stop, he said, “I don’t know; I was drunk.”‘


Thursday, December 20, 2007

 

Married couple forced to house criminal

‘A convicted criminal has moved in with a married couple against their wishes after giving their address in court as his home.

Shane Sims, 19, has spent the last few days living with Brenda and Robert Cole after he was sentenced to a week’s curfew for breaching a supervision order.

But the couple claim the first they knew about it was when Sims, a friend of their daughter, moved in on Thursday โ€“ followed by security contractors who put a box in a bedroom to monitor his movements with an ankle tag.

Mrs Cole, 47, said: ‘It’s turned our lives upside down. He’s taken over the whole place. He sprawls across the sofa and he’s always in the bathroom when you need it. It’s an absolute disgrace. They’ve let a criminal come into our home and there is nothing we can do about it.”


marketing

Saturday, December 15, 2007

 

Evolution vs creation row ends in stabbing

‘A fruit-picking trip to southern New South Wales ended in the death of a Scottish backpacker who became embroiled in a bizarre row about creationism and evolution.

English backpacker Alexander Christian York, 33, was today sentenced to a maximum of five years jail for the manslaughter of Scotsman Rudi Boa in January last year. [..]

The Scottish couple and York, neighbours at the caravan park, were becoming friends and spent the night of January 27 drinking at the Star Hotel in Tumut.

However, towards the end of the night, an argument between York and the pair about creationism versus evolution escalated into a shouting match at the pub.

The couple, both biomedical scientists, had been arguing the case of evolution, while York had taken a more biblical view of history. [..]

According to Ms Brown, York was making dinner when he attacked the couple outside his tent, stabbing Mr Boa with a kitchen knife as the argument escalated.’


support

Saturday, December 8, 2007

 

Rubber Boy – When Will I Be Famous

This man could lick his own arsehole.

If he wanted to.

(7.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


Monday, December 3, 2007

 

nigga stole my bike


forum

Colostomy reversal botched, suit says

‘A surgery meant to reverse a colostomy on a Dover man went horribly wrong last year, resulting in fecal mater being discharged from his penis and urine passing through his colon, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

During the procedure, the suit alleges doctors at Kent General Hospital improperly stapled the colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump. This left the patient with diarrhea, as well as gas and liquid stool passing from his penis.

The man was taken to Christiana Hospital 12 days later to have the procedure corrected, but not until after much suffering and embarrassment as well as “disfigurement and disability,” the suit claims. It also affected life at home with his wife, who also is suing the three doctors involved in the allegedly botched procedure, Surgical Associates P.A. and Bayhealth Medical Center Inc.’


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Friday, November 30, 2007

 

Mayor Resigns, Claims Abduction By Satan Worshippers

‘The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago.

Centerton Mayor Ken Williams said he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. He had been mayor since 2001.

Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that in the mid-1970s, he was a preacher in Indiana. He said he was abducted and brainwashed into forgetting all about his life as Don LaRose.

It was a double-life he had never acknowledged, Williams said, because he didn’t even realize it existed until he had recently taken a truth-serum injection.’


Friday, November 16, 2007

 

Ring a Ring of Posies, a Phone Full of Morons

‘Customer: I had an appointment today (Sunday) between 10-12 & nobody came.
Me: OK, tomorrow is the appointment.
Customer: But it was set for the 10th.
Me: Tomorrow is the 10th.
Customer: Somebody is messing with my brain. I have a hand-drawn calendar behind me. So the appointment is for Tuesday, the 10th.
Me: MONDAY, the 10th.
Customer: Whoa, youโ€™re blowinโ€™ my mind here.’


Saturday, November 10, 2007

 

Attack at Pelindaba nuclear facility

‘A brazen attack by four gunmen on the Pelindaba nuclear facility has left a senior emergency officer seriously injured.

Anton Gerber, Necsa emergency services operational officer spoke to the Pretoria News from his hospital bed hours after the attack.

He was shot in the chest when the gunmen stormed the facility’s emergency response control room in the early hours of Thursday morning. [..]

Necsa spokesperson Chantal Janneker confirmed the attack.

She declined to say how the gunmen had gained access to the facility or whether they had stolen anything.

Janneker said Necsa was conducting an internal investigation into the attack.

Once the police investigation was complete Necsa would divulge what happened, she said.’


mail

Friday, November 9, 2007

 

2 Girls 1 Cup

You won’t like this video. You may vomit from watching it. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s not as bad as the least safe for work video ever, but it’s getting there.

This is very definitely NSFW.

Also, there’s some reaction videos of other people not liking it aswell. ๐Ÿ™‚

see it here »


Unknown Singer Has Amazing Voice

This fellow apparently won a competition to let him audition in a recording studio. He does a good job. ๐Ÿ™‚

(7.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


careers

Tasered at his own home: the Shawn Hicks story

‘When Shawn Hicks returned to his North Braddock home on Stokes Avenue after a Saturday night out on the town with friends, he didn’t bother turning on the lights.

Instead of heading to his bedroom, Mr. Hicks, a 29-year-old business major at Point Park University, plopped himself face down and fully dressed on his cream-colored leather sofa in his living room. He also neglected to deactivate his home security system, which has a silent alarm.

Surrounded by the darkness and familiar comforts of his home, Mr. Hicks was asleep within five minutes. He didn’t know it at the time, but he was not destined to have sweet dreams that night.

“I felt a lot of voltage going through my body,” Mr. Hicks said recalling the events of that late July weekend. “That’s what woke me up.”‘


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Boston Priest Charged With Stalking Conan O’Brien

‘A priest from the Boston Archdiocese has been placed on leave after he was arrested for allegedly stalking late night talk show host Conan O’Brien. [..]

Ajemian, 46, remains in the custody of New York City police after he allegedly tried to contact O’Brien repeatedly over a 14 month period. Ajemian was told to stop the communications but did not, according to police, and a warrant for his arrest was issued by the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office.

Ajemian was arrested at 30 Rockefeller Plaza while trying to enter a taping of NBC’s “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” Ajemian was a priest at St. Patrick’s Parish in Stoneham from 2005 to May 2007. He has not been reassigned to another parish since May.

Ajemian is accused of sending O’Brien threatening notes on parish letterhead and contacting his parents.’


Thursday, November 8, 2007

 

Stripper spanked schoolboy in classroom as mum’s birthday prank went too far

‘Most parents like to pull out all the stops to make a child’s 16th birthday as memorable as possible.

But having a female stripper surprise your son in front of his teacher in class would not feature on many wish-lists.

Yet that’s what happened when one woman booked a special performer for her son’s big day.

She stipulated that the surprise take place in drama class – and even asked the teacher to film it so the family could see the boy’s reaction.

But – thanks to what has been put down as a booking error – a female stripper turned up in place of the gorilla-suited man the unnamed mother had apparently asked for.

The stripper, who arrived on cue halfway through the lesson, first walked the birthday boy around the classroom on all fours.

Then, gyrating to the sounds of Britney Spears, she spanked him before stripping down to her bra and knickers and insisting the “naughty” schoolboy rub cream all over her body. [..]

“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned – and when the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”‘


marketing

Woman Stuck In A Trench

This is just a bizarre situation. Seizures? WTF?

(1.6meg Flash video)

see it here »


support

Students Used Cookies to Torture

‘Two students at Southern Illinois University in this St. Louis suburb kidnapped, paddled and burned a young man with freshly baked cookies after a drug deal went bad, prosecutors said. [..]

Sheriff’s Capt. Brad Wells said that Friday night, three men went to James’ house to buy marijuana, but two of them grabbed the drugs and fled, leaving the third behind. The suspects held that man, who is in his late teens, and told him he needed to find $400 for the drugs, Wells said.

The suspects beat the man with a wooden paddle, burned his neck and shoulders with cookies immediately after taking them from the oven, shaved off some of his hair and poured urine over him from a soda bottle, Wells said.’


Wife spared jail over dog excrement in husband’s curry

‘A Scottish woman has avoided a prison sentence after she admitted putting dog excrement in her husband’s curry.

Jill Martin, 47, took drastic action after her marriage broke down and burst out laughing when her husband Donald started eating the dish at their home in Newton Mearns, Glasgow, Paisley Sheriff Court in central Scotland heard.

She admitted culpable and reckless conduct in May following the incident in March.

But Sheriff Susan Sinclair said that she would not send her to jail because her circumstances are “quite different” than at the time of the attack. She was discharged without punishment.’

Followup to Wife put excrement in man’s curry.


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