moonbuggy

I was a few percent away at the end of the clock.

‘A suspended Toronto elementary school principal has pleaded guilty to throwing feces (excrement) on a child.

Maria Pantalone, 49, was charged with two counts of assault – one against that child and one against another – but only admitted to one of the charges today.

“I couldn’t take it any more,” she testified, in describing the provocative circumstances leading up to the incident last June 30.

But she agreed it wasn’t in any way justified.’

‘An Arcadia man who is paralyzed from the neck down and his caregiver were jailed this afternoon in connection with the rape and incest of three children, Bienville Sheriff John Ballance said.

Bienville sheriff’s investigators have charged Michael Lee Smudricks, 57, with one count of aggravated rape and three counts of aggravated incest. His caregiver, Lynn Swan West, who turns 59 Thursday, also of Arcadia, is charged with one count of principal to aggravated rape and three counts of principal to aggravated incest.

The alleged assault involves children under the age of 15. They are in state custody.

Arrest warrants for Smudricks were signed March 5, but authorities could not pick him up until today after seeking the state’s help in locating a jail or prison that could house him. [..]’

(2.8meg Windows media)

followup to Indian cow eats more chicken.

see it here »

21 Gay Street is, I assume, the lesbian version of 21 Jump Street.

‘A horror movie fanatic who repeatedly slashed his terrified friend with a home-made Freddy Krueger glove was jailed for life yesterday.

Jason Moore was obsessed with the Nightmare on Elm Street killer and spent hours crafting various recreations of his ‘horrific’ weapon.

His final model featured four curved steel blades – each as sharp as a cut-throat razor – that were attached to a welded brass amulet.

Deranged Moore, 37, used the glove to attack his friend John Skamarski as he slept, causing slash wounds to his face, neck and hands. [..]

Moore – who was originally charged with attempted murder – phoned 999 himself, telling the operator he didn’t know why he carried out the attack.

He said: “I almost stabbed him to death. I’m going out of my mind. For some unbeknown reason I attacked him in the chest. I tried to stab his heart.”‘

‘Three Japanese naval officers who swapped pornography on their computers triggered a scandal over a possible leak of sensitive data linked to Japan’s missile defense system, a newspaper said Thursday.

Police launched a probe last week after a navy officer married to a Chinese woman was found to have taken home a computer disk containing information about the high-tech Aegis radar system, domestic media said.

Aegis is used on Japanese destroyers that are to be fitted with SM-3 missile interceptors from this year as part of the missile defense program.

The officer told police he accidentally copied the confidential data onto his computer’s hard disk when copying porn from a computer belonging to a crew member from another destroyer, the Yomiuri newspaper reported.’

This is the fish of doom.

I’ve got a fair few things to do over the next few days. I’ll try and post when I have the time.

‘Grapefruit juice has been shown to affect the metabolism of several drugs. Included in the list of potential target drugs are diazepam, cisapride, cyclosporine, felodipine and other dihydropyridine calcium channel blockers, midazolam, nisoldipine, triazolam, saquinavir, lovastatin, and atorvastatin. The mechanism of this interaction appears to primarily result from inhibition of enzymes in the intestinal wall.

Several constituents of grapefruit juice have been implicated including the flavonoids naringin and naringenin, along with the furanocoumarins, bergapten and 6,7-dihydroxybergamottin. Unfortunately, the content of these varies between different grapefruit juices and varieties of fruit, making it impossible to determine if one is safer than another.’

Balls of Steel always make me laugh.

(9.3meg Flash video)

see it here »

I plan to put some old Preservation Hall Jazz Band stuff up when I can find some too. And possibly some more Kurt Weill/Bertolt Brecht things too.

see it here »

‘Police said an 18-year-old Suffolk man battered a 4-week-old baby who reminded him of a guy he doesn’t like.

Breon Lashawn Perry, who caused a brain injury to the infant, was charged with felony child abuse and aggravated malicious wounding, Suffolk Police Lt. Debbie George said. [..]

After investigating, police found out the baby and his 3-year-old sister were left in the care of Perry, the mother’s boyfriend, while the mother was at work. Perry struck the baby several times in the face and head because the child reminded Perry of the child’s father, whom Perry did not like, George said.’

aka Super Horse Saves The Day

(944kB Windows media)

see it here »

‘A worker was injured this afternoon when his penis became caught in machinery at a northern suburbs saw mill.

The man, 30, was working at the Parafield Gardens Saw Mill at about 1.50pm when his crotch and penis became caught in the chain of a piece of machinery.

He was taken to the Royal Adelaide Hospital. It is believed his injuries are not life threatening but he initially suffered uncontrollable bleeding.

A company spokesman said the man’s injuries were not serious.

“He got caught in the log moving mechanism on one of the saws,” he said.’

‘I made this tutorial to help you guys create fake cumshots in Photoshop. It’s pretty fast, easy and fun thing to do. I used Photoshop CS2 but I’m sure that it will work on older versions of Photoshop as well.’

WTF?

(5.0meg Flash video)

see it here »

‘A Half Moon Bay man who shot an ostrich to death after the flightless bird pummeled him and his friend when they trespassed on a coastal ranch was ordered released today after serving five months in jail for animal abuse.

Jonathon Porter, 20 — who prosecutors say killed for revenge after the bird humiliated him in front of women he was trying to impress — was sentenced today by Judge John Grandsaert effectively to time served. [..]

McKevitt was kicked in the ribs and knocked to the ground, according to a police report. Porter suffered scrapes and bruises when the ostrich kicked him, the report said.

“And at that point, the crucial thing happened,” Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said. “Apparently the girls started laughing.”

Porter and McKevitt drove away with the women, then allegedly armed themselves with a rifle and shotgun.’

‘The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting..’

Johnny Cash does a good version of it too. :)

(10.8 and 9.3meg Flash videos)

see it here »

‘Doctor Who David Tennant loves having farting competitions in the Tardis.

The actor, 36, says that he takes on co-star John Barrowman who plays Captain Jack in trumping contests.

Speaking on tonight’s Graham Norton Show, he laughed: “We get very competitive about farting in the Tardis. Farting before performing is a kind of exorcism.

“John feels the same way. It’s our Glasgow heritage.”

However, David joked that Freema Agyeman, who plays new assistant Martha Jones when the sci-fi drama returns to BBC1 this Saturday, isn’t impressed.

David added: “Freema really didn’t like it, which spurred us on.”’

‘Juicing up your cell phone or iPod may take on a whole new meaning in the future. Researchers at Saint Louis University have developed a fuel cell battery that runs on virtually any sugar source – from soft drinks to tree sap – and has the potential to operate three to four times longer on a single charge than conventional lithium ion batteries, they say.

For consumers, that could mean significantly longer time to talk and play music between charges. The new battery, which is also biodegradable, could eventually replace lithium ion batteries in many portable electronic applications, including computers, the scientists say. Their findings were described today at the 233rd national meeting of the American Chemical Society in Chicago.’

Hooray for breast feeding 7 year olds. Or not. [shrug] :)

(9.6meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘A Minneapolis city worker is worried about blood in the sewer system because he said, while he was cleaning the system, blood sprayed out of a hole and got all over him.

“We could tell it was blood, I mean large amount of blood,” said Minneapolis Sewer Maintenance Worker Ron Huebner.

It happened about two weeks ago in Northeast Minneapolis near a lab that does medical testing and dumps blood into the sewer. It is allowed but the city is now making changes to help protect workers in the future.

“Blood just all over my face, in my mouth, I could taste it. It was terrible. I had it in my mouth and I kept spitting and I couldn’t get rid of it,” said Huebner. [..]

The Met Council said it was a mix of human and animal blood used in medical testing at this nearby lab.’

‘It’s the coldest of cold cases, and yet it keeps warming to life. Seventy years after Amelia Earhart disappeared, clues are still turning up. Long-dismissed notes taken of a shortwave distress call beginning, “This is Amelia Earhart…,” are getting another look.

The previously unknown diary of an Associated Press reporter reveals a new perspective.

A team that has already found aircraft parts and pieces of a woman’s shoe on a remote South Pacific atoll hopes to return there this year to search for more evidence, maybe even DNA.

If what’s known now had been conveyed to searchers then, might Earhart and her navigator have been found alive? It’s one of a thousand questions that keep the case from being declared dead, as Earhart herself was a year and a half after she vanished.’

‘A woman with a history of drug abuse says she woke up from a nap to find her miniature dachshund had torn off her baby boy’s genitals. Authorities have doubts about her story, but exactly how the newborn was maimed is still a mystery.

Holden Gothia, now 7 weeks old, was found on a bed in his mother’s suburban Houston apartment March 13, covered in blood. His genitals were severed and there was a deep cut in his upper leg.

He has been in critical condition ever since. He may never regain the use of his leg and faces years of operations, according to the boy’s father, Camden Gothia.

Police, doctors and Child Protective Service officials told the baby’s father that the injuries were not consistent with dog bites — the lacerations were too neat.

But Holden’s mother, the only person who might have the answers, has checked into a treatment program and refuses to cooperate with police. No charges have been filed.’

Followup to: Mom: Dog Bites Off Infant’s Genitals

It’s still kinda funny, but he buggered up the whole trick. :)

(1.3meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘The latest person to discover how easy it is to abuse U.S. copyright law appears to be Uri Geller, the self-proclaimed “psychic” who has been fooling people about his supernatural powers for decades now. Geller has been exposed as a ridiculous fake time and time again, but he is trying hard to scrub the internet of all that embarrassing evidence so that his current business venture can trick more new suckers.

And United States copyright law is practically eager to aid this huckster in his quest to suppress criticism and victimize the ignorant. Using the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, Geller has managed to get YouTube to delete several videos that show Geller’s deceptions being exposed. Before Geller launched his purge, when you searched YouTube for “Uri Geller” you would immediately discover videos that let you know he is a trickster. But as of this moment, that same search yields mainly uncritical videos.’

‘The second time I was visiting a friend at her farmhouse in rural Oklahoma and needed to grab a toothbrush and some toothpaste, as I’d forgotten mine. I rolled up to a 24-hour Walmart at about midnight and it was like stepping into the movie Jacob’s Ladder. As I walked through the doors some drunk guy stumbled into me and vomited all over the place, narrowly missing my shoes. Then I saw a woman asleep on the floor, in the middle of the cosmetics section, snoring loudly and wrapped up in a blanket like she was at home in bed. [..]

Once when perusing clocks, me and my girlfriend heard a mother screaming at her child from the next aisle: “I’m gonna tell you one more time, and then I’m gonna kick you in the head. Now put it down!” [..]

A friend of mine worked at an IGA or something a few years back. One night when he was on cash, a very guy who was in line with his caretaker announced loudly that he’s “GOTTA POOP!” before letting out a DBZ roar, dropping his pants, squatting, and spraying diarrhoea all over the floor. Yeah.’

‘Scientists in Britain are proposing a complete revamping of drug classifications in the wake of findings that reveal some major discrepancies between a drug’s legality and its safeness. A study surveying health, crime and science professionals regarding the dangers of a set of 20 legal and illegal drugs, published in The Lancet in March 2007, found that alcohol and tobacco, which are legal in Britain and the United States, are considered by experts to be more dangerous than ecstasy and marijuana, which are illegal in both countries.’

.. but he really wants the ball that’s floating in the pool.

(2.8meg Windows media)

see it here »