moonbuggy

But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me what the fuck we should do..

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‘An accused child molester in Wisconsin cut off his electronic monitoring bracelet, then took a limousine to Chicago to appear on “The Jerry Springer Show,” authorities said. [..]

“A significant bond is legally necessary given the fact he absconded, admittedly for one of the more unique reasons I’ve heard in my time on the bench,” the judge said.

According to court records, Sims had been out of jail about three weeks when he cut off the bracelet and missed a court date September 6. His defense attorney at the time, Domingo Cruz, told the judge his client was seen getting into the television show’s limousine.’

I’m nerdier than 90% of the population. Ha.

‘9 out of 10 doctors say the 10th doctor should mellow out.

Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Any twelve people who can’t get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to eight, the other dwarves began to suspect “Hungry”.

Every 10 seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Here at First National, you’re not just a number – you’re two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number.

If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.’

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‘Authorities in the United States have given preliminary approval to a plan to grow rice genetically modified to produce human proteins.

Rice plants including human genes involved in producing breast milk would be grown in the state of Kansas.

The company behind the proposal, Ventria Bioscience, says the plants could be developed into medicines for diarrhoea and dehydration in infants.

Critics say parts of the rice plants could enter the food chain.’

‘”Changes in climate are now affecting physical and biological systems on every continent,” the report says, in marked contrast to a 2001 report by the same international group that said the effects of global warming were coming. But that report only mentioned scattered regional effects.

“Things are happening and happening faster than we expected,” said Patricia Romero Lankao of the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colo., one of the many co-authors of the new report. [..]

The hardest-hit continents are likely to be Africa and Asia, with major harm also coming to small islands and some aspects of ecosystems near the poles. North America, Europe and Australia are predicted to suffer the fewest of the harmful effects.’

‘Two Atlanta men survived an attempt to kill themselves Friday by cutting off their arms with a circular saw, according to Atlanta Police Major Lane Hagin.

The men managed to sever three of their arms about six inches above the wrist, he said.

The two men — ages 40 and 41 — left a suicide note with the manager of their Atlanta apartment building saying they were committing suicide because their business had failed and they were recently diagnosed with HIV, Hagin said.

After reading the note, the manager called police who found the two men in their apartment with “a lot of blood,” the major said.’

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‘A countryside home in Germany is half of what it used to be – really.

The 43-year-old homeowner, who is currently going through an unpleasant divorce, apparently decided to split the couple’s possessions right down the middle. So he cut their summer house in half with a chainsaw.

After finishing the job, he loaded his half onto a forklift and drove it to his brother’s house, which is where he is now staying.’

‘UK scientists have identified a way of using light to rapidly detect the presence of bacteria. [..]

The team have spent five years designing special large molecules, or polymers, which can bind to cells.

Once bound the polymer changes shape and emits a light signal.

This can either be a coloured light, such as a red glow, or a light that is naked to the visible eye but can be detected under a fluorescent lamp, depending on the type of polymer that is used.’

‘A Chandler man has been arrested after his condominium caught fire while he was cooking methamphetamine in a toaster oven, authorities said.

Jonathan Zaletel, 19, was arrested on suspicion of drug manufacturing, drug possession and criminal damage.

Zaletel was cooking meth at about 7 p.m. Tuesday in the 1200 block of North Alma School Road near Ray Road when his condominium bedroom closet caught fire, authorities said.

He unsuccessfully attempted to stop the fire with water and window cleaner. He then went to Wal-Mart to buy a fire extinguisher.’

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He has a banjo and he has a goiter.

The goiter is bigger than the banjo.

‘Mechanic Chris Donald loves his work — he has sex with cars.

And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”

Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors.

He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years — plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI.

Chris, who DOES have a girlfriend, confessed: “A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It’s about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it.”

His weird obsession mirrors that of electrician Karl Watkins, who The Sun revealed was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993. [..]’

‘A Los Angeles hospital confirmed on Friday that two U.S. women who became ill during a trip to their native Russia, prompting investigations by both countries, were suffering from thallium poisoning.

Cedars-Sinai Medical Center said Marina Kovalevsky and her daughter, Yana, were receiving “appropriate treatment” for thallium poisoning. They have been listed in fair but stable condition. [..]

There has been no official explanation of how or why the two women, who according to family members do not work for either government and have no known political or business ties to Russia, were poisoned.’

‘This is a great prank to pull at the beach, cover yourself in sand and wait for a seagull to come by…’

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‘Officials at the Grossmont Union High School District have sent letters home to parents, notifying them that a number of students have been caught on campus with medical marijuana cards.

District official Catherine Martin said they are concerned over the growing trend and the “apparent ease” with which teens are able to obtain the cards.

In the letters, parents, students and faculty are reminded that even if the cards are valid, it is against the law to have marijuana on school property.

Recently two East County teenagers were suspended for showing up at school high, with a medical marijuana card as their excuse, NBC 7/39 reported.’

‘Fran Bernstein wants what is best for her severely autistic, 48-year-old son.

So do those operating the Chicago group home where Bradley Bernstein lives.

But they disagree on what is the best way to respond when the stockily built Bradley begins a violent outburst.

His mother has long relied upon a small jolt from a cattle prod to calm her son down.

But disability advocacy groups, as well as the company running Bradley’s group home, Trinity Services, are shunning the shock punishments, which state legislators outlawed last year. [..]

“Most of the time, if he starts acting up and beating his head, we just show it to him and that’s sufficient,” Fran Bernstein said. “We had a judge sign an order saying it was OK to do with proper care, to let him live a decent life. The whole point of doing this was to protect him.”‘

‘Illegal drugs can be “harmless” and should no longer be “demonised”, a wide-ranging two-year study concluded today.

The report said Britain’s drug laws were “not fit for purpose” and should be torn up in favour of a system which recognised that drinking and smoking could cause more harm.

The RSA Commission on Illegal Drugs ,set up in January 2005, also called for the main focus of drugs education to be shifted from secondary to primary schools and recommended the introduction of so-called “shooting galleries” – rooms where users can inject drugs. [..]

Current laws, the panel claimed, were been “driven by moral panic” with large amounts of money wasted on “futile” efforts to stop supply rather than going after the criminal networks behind the drugs on British streets.’

Polar bears are pretty smart.

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‘Inmates in South Carolina could soon find that a kidney is worth 180 days.

Lawmakers are considering legislation that would let prisoners donate organs or bone marrow in exchange for time off their sentences.

A state Senate panel on Thursday endorsed creating an organ-and-tissue donation program for inmates. But legislators postponed debate on a measure to reduce the sentences of participating prisoners, citing concern that federal law may not allow it.’

‘Tony Lagouranis doesn’t fit the profile of a person likely to go wrong by following orders. He’s lived a footloose life unconstrained by a desire for professional advancement, for the approval of superiors, even for a comfortable home. A freethinker, he read the great works of Western civilization in college and mastered classical languages. It was his desire to learn Arabic as well that took him to Iraq.

And there, as an army interrogator, he tortured detainees for information he admits they rarely had. Since leaving Iraq he’s taken this story public, doing battle on national television against the war’s architects for giving him the orders he regrets he obeyed.’

‘A man remained in jail Monday after Tampa police say he ripped off a large portion of his girlfriend’s scalp with a 6-inch kitchen knife.

After the Friday attack, 40-year-old Tina D. Robinson was rushed to St. Joseph’s Hospital, where surgeons attempted to reattach her scalp. Hospital officials would not comment on her condition Monday.

Police say Robinson and her 30-year-old boyfriend Jason Eric Tarvin had been drinking Thursday night and were intoxicated when an argument got violent.’

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‘A renowned hedge-fund honcho hatched a heinous revenge plot against his former mistress by posing as her on the Internet – saying she wanted to be kidnapped and raped as part of a sicko sex fantasy, officials said yesterday.

Albert Hsu, 43, a wealthy, married dad of two and former Cub Scout leader, posted his fiendish ad on a hardcore, S&M Web site, Connecticut authorities said.

He allegedly included the woman’s name, photo, address, license-plate number, train schedule to and from work and even the rail car she usually sits in.

“The defendant set the victim up to be abducted and raped by a complete stranger,” prosecutor Ricki Goldstein said in Norwalk, Conn., Superior Court.’

‘It could be a scene from Kafka or Brazil. Imagine a government agency, in a bureaucratic foul-up, accidentally gives you a copy of a document marked “top secret.” And it contains a log of some of your private phone calls.

You read it and ponder it and wonder what it all means. Then, two months later, the FBI shows up at your door, demands the document back and orders you to forget you ever saw it.

By all accounts, that’s what happened to Washington D.C. attorney Wendell Belew in August 2004. [..]’

‘The Government’s financial support for tertiary students was among the most generous in the world and students should be more frugal, Education Minister Julie Bishop said today.

Her comments follow a study that found university students were regularly going without food because they could not afford to eat.

The Australian Vice-Chancellors’ Committee’s 2006 survey found one in eight students (12.5 per cent) regularly went without food or other necessities because they could not afford them.

It also revealed university students were worse off financially last year than they were in 2000, with 70.6 per cent of full-time undergraduates working about 14.8 hours a week to make ends meet.’

‘First you get yourself a quality motor and some burgers. Then you throw the burgers at some muppets head from the roof of the car.’

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‘A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church, but he wasn’t having much luck.

Police said the would-be thief’s call prompted them to show up at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, where they found him waiting. The man told them he had hoped to get married in the church and was trying to use a metal shovel to break through the doors. He told them, if anything, he figured they could help.

Officers search the man and found marijuana. He then invited them to his home, where he told them they would find more drugs.

They did: He showed them his stash of marijuana and stolen prescription drugs.’