moonbuggy

Well, teabagging and a banana anyways.

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`A fence-building company in Southern California agrees to pay nearly $5 million in fines for hiring illegal immigrants. Two executives from the company may also serve jail time. The Golden State Fence Company’s work includes some of the border fence between San Diego and Mexico.

After an immigration check in 1999 found undocumented workers on its payroll, Golden State promised to clean house. But when followup checks were made in 2004 and 2005, some of those same illegal workers were still on the job. In fact, U-S Attorney Carol Lam says as many as a third of the company’s 750 workers may have been in the country illegally.’

Is this a fashion shoot, or has she snorted a little bit too much cocaine? :) Either way, there’s titties.

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`Meet Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera. The 26-year-old twins work as teachers at the same California high school. And they’re both facing felony charges as a result of an illicit sexual relationship with a female student. According to Riverside County sheriff’s investigators, Franca (pictured below at left) had a sexual relationship with the underage girl, for which she was arrested yesterday and charged with lewd acts with a minor. While Antonia was not hit with a sex crime, she was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor because she was allegedly aware of her sister’s involvement with the girl.’

`A former Allentown woman who admitted that she ordered her 12-year old son and 13-year-old daughter to take pictures of her in seductive nude poses showed up in court today wearing jeans with “Booty” emblazoned on the left rear pocket and “Licious” on the right in what appeared to be rhinestones.

Northampton County Judge Stephen G. Baratta sent Julie Figueroa, 43, to state prison for nine months to four years for endangering the welfare of children. Figueroa’s adult daughter jumped to her feet as deputy sheriffs clamped handcuffs on Figueroa’s wrists. “Excuse me!” she shouted. “Can I say goodbye to my mother?”

The daughter, who did not give her name but earlier gave her age as 20, continued to sob and yell.

“Ma’am,” Baratta said sharply, “Be quiet.”

“This isn’t fair,” the daughter screamed.’

‘A bear cub attacked two people, including a 19-year-old German volunteer, at a sanctuary in Croatia on Saturday, injuring both of them, police said. The bear was then shot by a visitor of the orphanage in Kuterevo in central Croatia. The cub — one of four taken care of in the only such bear sanctuary in Croatia — first attacked the German volunteer, who was not identified, police said. When the head of the orphanage, Ivan Crnkovic, ran to help her, the bear turned on him. The volunteer, one of many who come to Kuterevo to take care of the cubs, was treated in a local clinic with minor injuries. Crnkovic suffered leg wounds, but was not in life threatening condition, Dr. Damir Stiglic said.’

I’m curious about what the chainsaw guy was gonna do, and why he didn’t do it.

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`Underground hackers are hawking zero-day exploits for Microsoft’s new Windows Vista operating system at $50,000 a pop, according to computer security researchers at Trend Micro.

The Windows Vista exploit—which has not been independently verified—was just one of many zero-days available for sale at an auction-style marketplace infiltrated by the Tokyo-based anti-virus vendor.

In an interview with eWEEK, Trend Micro’s chief technology officer, Raimund Genes, said prices for exploits for unpatched code execution flaws are in the $20,000 to $30,000 range, depending on the popularity of the software and the reliability of the attack code.’

`The Ormond Beach grandmother who has challenged the city with topless protests won another court case Thursday when a judge ruled her breast-bearing demonstration outside Peabody Auditorium was not disorderly conduct.

Elizabeth Book has been in and out of court since 2004 when the activist bared her breasts in a First Amendment demonstration during Bike Week on the Main Street bridge.

She was acquitted that year after city attorneys took her to court claiming she violated the public nudity ordinance, but was soon at it again. Book, 44, pulled her top down on two more occasions in her crusade to decriminalize women who show their breasts and to encourage breast-feeding.’

‘The Enschede fireworks disaster, called Vuurwerkramp (Dutch: literally, “fireworks disaster”), was caused by a fire which broke out in the SE Fireworks depôt on May 13, 2000 in the eastern Dutch city of Enschede. The fire led to an enormous explosion that left 23 people dead (including four firemen) and 947 injured. The biggest blast was heard as far as 60 kilometres from the scene. About 2000 homes were damaged or destroyed, leaving 1250 people homeless. The extent of the damage was estimated at half a billion euros.’

The first video has been around before, but the second Enschede video I hadn’t seen before. Fucking crazy.

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`If you’ve ever had a great idea for a sexual aid, or wondered where new sex toys come from, you should check out some of the patents on file with the United States Patent Office. Here we’ve collected some of the best. With many of these items, you can discern their roots in household items and basement workshops and see the DIY ethic in action. Let them be an inspiration to us all!’

`The Federal Government wants to ban the sale of marijuana pipes and so-called “cocaine kits”.

But the Parliamentary Secretary for Health, Christopher Pyne, admits he faces an uphill battle.

His demand for a ban follows a meeting of the National Cannabis Strategy Group six months ago which called for “closer and more appropriate regulation of drug paraphernalia”.

He said he was concerned regular display of such equipment in shops reduced public concern about the impact of drugs on young people and sent a tacit signal the Government approved of drug use.’

Reminds me vaguely of a friend of mine. :)

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`Police in Elkins, Ark., have arrested a man who they said rigged a doorknob in his home so it would shock his wife.

Herbert Caldwell Jr., 44, is charged with installing a booby trap, domestic battery and terroristic threatening. Officers summoned to Caldwell’s home found electric fencing of the type used for cattle installed so a bedroom doorknob would shock anyone who touched it. It shocked the woman when she tried to enter the room.’

`It’s that time of year again. Students have taken their finals, and now it is time to grade them. It is something professors have been looking forward to all semester. Exactness in grading is a well-honed skill, taking considerable expertise and years of practice to master. The purpose of this post is to serve as a guide to young professors about how to perfect their grading skills and as a way for students to learn the mysterious science of how their grades are determined. [..]

The key to this method is a good toss. [..]’

`In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil [..]’

Armageddon!

(570kb mp3)

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`After World War II, there was little money for defense spending while the nations of Europe rebuilt their industry and society. When there was some cash to spend, one had to be creative to stretch it as far as possible. The French probably accomplished the most astounding example of that with the ACMA Troupes Aeról Portées Mle. 56. Deployed with their airborne forces, this was essentially a militarized Vespa scooter outfitted with a 75mm recoilless rifle.’

`Okay, wait a minute.

You guys are killing my server.

I used to have a million digits of Pi listed here, and it was really great.

But now you have brought my server to its knees with your interest in its greatness.’

I just like the domain name, mostly. :)

`Saving the world can take up a lot of space.

Greenfleet, one of the nation’s leading organisations helping individuals and companies offset carbon emissions, has for nearly three years been unable to find enough NSW land to plant the trees its subscribers have paid for.

As new subscriptions flood in, the not-for-profit group is searching for landholders willing to join the scheme and establish forests on their property.

At first, Greenfleet told the Herald it had a NSW backlog of about 88,000 trees that needed to go in the ground in the name of climate change prevention.’

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`Hollywood director Oliver Stone has shocked a celebrity crowd with an off-colour joke about the murders of five suspected sex workers in eastern England, as it was reported women’s clothing had been found near where some of the bodies had been dumped. [..]

The discovery of so many victims in so few days has raised fears another “Ripper” targeting prostitutes is on the loose.

That climate led Stone to quip to the British Comedy Awards audience in London: “It’s great to be back in England. I feel like Jack The Ripper days are back. Nothing ever changes here.”

The stunned crowd responded with jeers, gasps and boos, with one audience member quoted as saying the remark was in “unbelievably bad taste”.’

`A leading professor in the U.K. said that obese people should be warned about the health risks of their weight when buying clothes, according to The Daily Mail.

Naveed Sattar, professor of metabolic medicine at the University of Glasgow, said that oversized clothing should have obesity help line numbers sewn on them to try to reduce Britain’s obesity crisis. [..]

The suggestion would be to put the label on all clothes with waist sizes over 37 inches for boys or 31 inches for girls. Women’s clothes over size 16 would also get a label.’

`A man killed himself by ramming a carving knife into his skull with a homemade ‘guillotine’.

He rigged up a bizarre contraption to drop the knife down a 25ft drainpipe and into his brain.

The unnamed man tied the plastic drainpipe to an electricity pylon and suspended the knife from the top of the pipe with a rope.

Then he sat below the drainpipe and let go of the rope, sending the heavy knife plunging through his skull. [..]

A post-mortem examination revealed that the man died as a result of his head injury.’

`Some 10,000 US researchers have signed a statement protesting about political interference in the scientific process.

The statement, which includes the backing of 52 Nobel Laureates, demands a restoration of scientific integrity in government policy.

According to the American Union of Concerned Scientists, data is being misrepresented for political reasons.

It claims scientists working for federal agencies have been asked to change data to fit policy initiatives.’

`At Wheaton North High School the mission is to create self-directed students who make sound decisions. Last week one of those students decided to do the unthinkable when officials say he spiked a container of cafeteria salad dressing with his own semen. [..]

“The whole school is disgusted,” said senior Brian Corcoran.

“That’s got to be the sickest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” said Nick Anderson, also a senior student.

“It’s just pretty gross that someone would actually do that,” said senior Edward Lee. [..]

They say the student admitted he put the semen into a container of ranch dressing in the student commons dining area. And officials have determined that the contents could have been ingested during the last lunch period on Wednesday and during all five lunch periods on Thursday.’

‘For some reason this guy places his dick into a jar full of wasps’

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`Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of American Pie accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court today. [..]

In the court complaint, Lyonne’s former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbour’s door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman: “I’m going to sexually molest your dog.”‘

‘Watch how close this tank gets to completely tanking out this semi truck. It slams on its breaks and ends up hitting the side of the semi.’

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`Gov. Jeb Bush suspended executions in Florida after a medical examiner said Friday that prison officials botched the insertion of the needles when a convicted killer was put to death earlier this week.

Separately, a federal judge in California imposed a moratorium on executions in the nation’s most populous state, declaring that the state’s method of lethal injection runs the risk of violating the constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishment.

U.S. District Judge Jeremy Fogel ruled in San Jose that California’s “implementation of lethal injection is broken.” But he said: “It can be fixed.”

Fogel said the case raised the question of whether a three-drug cocktail administered by the San Quentin State Prison is so painful that it “offends” the Eighth Amendment ban on cruel and unusual punishment.’

‘A film review on Wednesday about “Little Miss Sunshine” referred incorrectly to contestants in the fictional children’s beauty pageant of the title. The critic intended to compare the contestants to underage prostitutes, not to “underage fleshpots.”‘

‘A headline on Page One on Saturday should have made clear that Oregon Health & Science University will be studying the effects of meth, not cooking it.’

Last year’s winner is funny too:

‘The Denver Daily News would like to offer a sincere apology for a typo in Wednesday’s Town Talk regarding New Jersey’s proposal to ban smoking in automobiles. It was not the author’s intention to call New Jersey ‘Jew Jersey.”

‘These guys dress up in a couple ridiculous outfits and go get their drivers license photo taken at the DMV. Will they get away with it?’

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