moonbuggy

‘Sunrise co-host David Koch knows all about piss takes … but there’s one he wishes he hadn’t got involved in.

The TV star has been forced to apologise for retelling a viewer’s joke on air involving John and Janette Howard and a message written in urine in the snow. [..]

The network even got a call from an irate Government minister offended by Koch’s telling of the gag during yesterday’s Joke of the Day segment at 6.50am.

Even his on-air colleagues looked frozen by the time he came to the end of the joke, until co-host Natalie Barr gave an awkward laugh.

“I think that’s actually … Did you vet that with anyone before you … ?” a stunned Barr asked.’

Update: now with video.

(3.9meg Flash video)

see it here »

`The 99 passengers and five crew members were evacuated from the American Airlines plane after it landed around 6:40 a.m., Nashville Airport Authority spokeswoman Lynne Lowrance said.

The plane, which was en route from Reagan National Airport in Washington, was searched, and luggage was screened.

Matches were found in the seat of one passenger, who was detained and questioned by the FBI. The matches were safety matches allowed in carry-on luggage under Transportation Security Administration rules.

“It turned out she was trying to conceal body odor,” Lowrance said.’

‘A mother convinced Rock Hill police to arrest her 12-year-old son after he unwrapped a Christmas present early.

The boy’s great-grandmother had specifically told him not to open his Nintendo Game Boy Advance, which she had wrapped and placed beneath the Christmas tree, according to a police report.

But on Sunday morning, she found the box of the popular handheld game console unwrapped and opened. When the boy’s 27-year-old mother heard about the opened gift, she called police.

“He took it without permission. He wanted it. He just took it,” said the 63-year-old great-grandmother.’

The Smoking Gun has the police report.

see it here »

`We’ve all dreamed of it – who wouldn’t want to have bright blue urine? Alright, I admit some people might be appalled at this strange activity, but many will find it interesting.

No, you don’t have to contract Syphilis to get blue urine. The method presented here is quite harmless.

WARNING: This guide contains instructions to eat things which are not sold for human consumption. Make sure you know the risks and read all relevant MSDS sheets before trying this on yourself! Some people may be allergic to Methylene Blue dye.’

`SPERMCUBE, it’s… collecting 1 cubic meter of sperm preserved frozen in a transparent cube. A collective artwork, international, open to all, universal. PARTICIPATE !’

‘In January 1968, the US Navy electronic surveillance ship USS Pueblo was quietly lurking off the east coast of North Korea, its assorted antennae pricked to absorb any kind of interesting electronic transmissions. There was little doubt that the North Koreans would cease any intelligence-worthy communications if they learned that the “environmental research” ship was eavesdropping, so the Pueblo’s crew operated under radio silence to avoid detection. Nevertheless, there was surprisingly little for the sophisticated electronics to observe; in terms of signals, Soviet-friendly Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) was uncharacteristically quiet. With so little information to pore over, the only interruption in the monotony was the occasional task of chipping the thick frosting of ice from the deck.

But on 22 January, something out of the ordinary happened. [..]’

There’s another website with a link to the captain’s Final Confession which is hilarious. :)

`One of the teenagers responsible for beating a Holly Hill homeless man to death asked a judge to reduce his 22-year prison sentence Monday. Warren Messner and three other teens pled guilty to killing the man because they were bored, but Messner said prison is too hard.

Messner is a big boy. He was 15 at the time he was brought into the woods to see the homeless man his friends had been beating. Even at that young age, he outweighed the victim, Michael Roberts, by 200 pounds when he jumped on his chest, crushing his ribcage. Roberts died. [..]

Messner and his attorney said he has already learned his lesson and is ready to go home to help others.

“I want to be an inspirational speaker for troubled teens,” he said Monday.’

`These drugs aren’t mine! I’m merely helping someone close to me overcome a drug problem, so I had to take them away, and then I had to drive down the highway as fast as I could to get away from him, but it’s impossible to get away from him, because that someone is me.’

`A St. Louis man was shot to death Sunday night over a warm beer, police said.

St. Louis police say a woman shot her husband, who was about 70 years old, four to five times in the chest after he tried giving her a warm can of Stag beer.

Police said the wife admitted shooting him about 5:40 p.m. in the kitchen of their home in the 5100 block of Terry Avenue. Police said the home had no electricity at the time.’

`For 40 years it has been torched, vandalized, had its legs cut off and even been run over by a car. But officials in the Swedish city of Gavle are guaranteeing that this year’s giant straw Christmas goat – the victim of Sweden’s most violent yule tradition – will survive unscathed.

The 43-foot-high goat – a centuries-old yule symbol that preceded Santa Claus as the bringer of gifts to Swedish homes – has been burned down 22 times since it was first set up in Gavle’s square on Dec. 3, 1966.

But for its 40th anniversary Sunday, officials think they have finally outsmarted the resourceful vandals by dousing the battered ram with flame-resistant chemicals normally used on airplanes.’

`NASA has announced it plans to build a permanently occupied base on the moon, most likely at the lunar north pole.

The habitat will serve as a science outpost as well as a testbed for technologies needed for future travel to Mars and construction will follow a series of flights to the moon scheduled to begin by 2020.

NASA’s associate administrator for exploration, Scott “Doc” Horowitz, told reporters of the plans in a teleconference from the Johnson Space Centre in Houston on Monday.

“We’re going for a base on the moon,” he said.’

Crickey.

(398kB Flash video)

see it here »

‘A soccer player gets hurt during a game and the medical team is forced to carry the player off the field. They decide to speed things up by trying to jog him off but one of the dudes can’t keep up and ends up dropping the player.’

see it here »

`The FBI appears to have begun using a novel form of electronic surveillance in criminal investigations: remotely activating a mobile phone’s microphone and using it to eavesdrop on nearby conversations.

The technique is called a “roving bug,” and was approved by top U.S. Department of Justice officials for use against members of a New York organized crime family who were wary of conventional surveillance techniques such as tailing a suspect or wiretapping him.

Nextel cell phones owned by two alleged mobsters, John Ardito and his attorney Peter Peluso, were used by the FBI to listen in on nearby conversations. The FBI views Ardito as one of the most powerful men in the Genovese family, a major part of the national Mafia.’

Walking of a sort, I suppose. :)

see it here »

`Without their knowledge, millions of Americans and foreigners crossing U.S. borders in the past four years have been assigned scores generated by government computers rating the risk that the travelers are terrorists or criminals.

The travelers are not allowed to see or directly challenge these risk assessments, which the government intends to keep on file for 40 years.

The government calls the system critical to national security following the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Some privacy advocates call it one of the most intrusive and risky schemes yet mounted in the name of anti-terrorism efforts.’

You’ll hear the phrase “car battery to the head” at some point in this clip. :)

(934kB Flash video)

see it here »

`We are entering a season of increasingly powerful evangelism and a time of the most widespread, massive global harvest in the history of Christianity. As a result, we as a ministry made a decision recently to purchase an airplane—a significant, needed ministry tool to fulfill the vision God has given us to go to the nations of the world, declaring the Gospel to lost humanity. [..]

As a result, we have recently taken delivery on our Gulfstream G4SP plane, which we call Dove One. I have enclosed a beautiful photo-filled brochure to explain more about this incredible ministry tool that will increase the scope of our abilities to preach the Gospel around the globe. Now we must pay the remainder of the down payment, and I am asking the Lord Jesus to speak to 6,000 of my precious partners to sow a seed of $1,000 in the next ninety days. And I am praying, even as I write this letter, that you will be one of them!’

This is allegedly a recording of a 911 call. I don’t know that it’s necessarily real though. :)

see it here »

`Australian technology users have rated Telstra as the worst tech company in the country, a survey has found. [..]

According to Ross, 1600 Telstra Bigpond customers were surveyed for the best internet service provider (ISP) category, but only 54 per cent said they were satisfied or very satisfied with the company’s customer support.

Further, half of the Bigpond customers surveyed said they wouldn’t recommend the ISP to a friend.

By contrast, the winner of the best ISP category, Internode, received a 97 per cent satisfaction rating and 97 per cent of its customers said they would recommend the ISP to a friend.’

`The week after his party lost both houses of Congress, President George W. Bush appointed a solid citizen in the anti-contraception movement to run the nation’s contraception program for the poor.

Dr. Eric Keroack, a gynecologist who started work Nov. 21, is a regular speaker at national anti-abortion events. This makes him a strange choice to lead a $283-million federal program, called Title X, whose main purpose is to “provide access to contraceptive supplies and information to all who want and need them.”

Consider that not one anti-abortion organization in the country supports the use of contraception. Even more troubling, Keroack has served on the medical advisory board of the Abstinence Clearinghouse, a board open only to doctors who refuse to promote or prescribe contraception to teens. One in four of all patients served by Title X clinics are teenagers.

Keroack’s colleagues at the Clearinghouse refer to birth control advocates as “condom pushers” and the “safe sex cartel.” ‘

‘This is a pretty cute bunny who also doubles as a letter opener. You’ll never have to suffer from paper cuts again!’

see it here »

`Australia and New Zealand should consider becoming one country, a bi-partisan Government committee has recommended.

The House of Representatives Standing Committee on Legal and Constitutional Affairs considered the possibility of harmonising Australia and New Zealand’s legal systems.

It found the two countries had a uniquely close relationship stemming from New Zealand being one of seven colonies of Australasia prior to federation in 1901.’

#702332
<APC> I steal from the automated checkout all the fucking time now
<APC> Well, I still pay
<APC> I just lie about what I bought
<APC> for instance
<APC> 2 pounds of bananas costs less than say, 2 pounds of hustler and playboy

#700613
[Synista]: You know what would have been cool
[Synista]: if in the superman movie, they had him break a horse’s back

#697515
|Polly|: I’ll rape you in the face
Phantom: My mom saw that
|Polly|: Good
|Polly|: I was talking to her

Also: #708460, #703138, #700091, #695338, #685293, #685827, #694821, #694984, #695059, #676189 and #676535

So, I did this test to kill some time. Apparently I’m introverted, intuitive, thinking and perceiving. INTP, for short. Detailed description [with the bits that make me chuckle in bold :)]:

`loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, wrestles with the meaninglessness of existence, likes esoteric things, disorganized, messy, likes science fiction, can be lonely, observer, private, can’t describe feelings easily, detached, likes solitude, not revealing, unemotional, rule breaker, avoidant, familiar with the darkside, skeptical, acts without consulting others, does not think they are weird but others do, socially uncomfortable, abrupt, fantasy prone, does not like happy people, appreciates strangeness, frequently loses things, acts without planning, guarded, not punctual, more likely to support marijuana legalization, not prone to compromise, hard to persuade, relies on mind more than on others, calm‘

So, you cunts better not be happy around me. I’ll calmly kick you in the nuts or something if you are. :)

I just installed some plugin to let people rate posts. I might play around with it for a while and see what happens. No one ever leaves a comment, so I doubt anyone will rate anything. But oh well. :)

Vaguely planning to sort out some way to let people notify of dead links. I’ve been re-linking to some videos and things as I find them dead, but I’m sure there’s many more dead links that need fixing..

Fun fun. :)

`The waiting must stop. At last we have created the final solution. Our programmers and surfers have been working overtime to bring you a one time download of the entire internet in one highly compressed file. At last you can have the entire internet on your hard drive, at your fingertips, any time, day or night!’