moonbuggy

`Like football and hockey players, soccer players would have to don helmets on the field to protect their heads, under a new legislative proposal.

The measure, scheduled for a hearing today on Beacon Hill, would cover peewee leagues to college teams.’

Americans are pussies.

`A doujin soft group calling themselves “Game Programming Study Club” has created the most Japanese fighting game EVER. ??! Spirits (”Line-Kill Spirits”) is a 3D fighting game that features little girls beating up on each other; nothing new there. The kicker, however, is that any damage you do to your opponent will slowly regenerate unless… wait for it… you take a picture of her panties. Yes. A fighting game where panty-shots are the core mechanic.’

with video. (9meg Windows Media)

`Move over, Ben Franklin. Todd Livingstone has a plan to solve the energy crisis by capturing huge amounts of energy from lightning. [..]

Livingstone isn’t the only person with a scheme to save the world through hydrogen. The last two years has seen a boom in hydrogen investment. In 2003, President Bush announced that the federal government would invest $1.2 billion into hydrogen over the next five years. General Motors has said it is spending at least a billion dollars on hydrogen and fuel-cell technologies, and companies like BP, Chevron and Shell are also making significant investments.’

`Dottie Neeley, 87, was fingerprinted, photographed and thrown in jail, imprisoned as much by the tubing from her oxygen tank as by the concrete and steel around her.

The woman – who spent two days in jail after her arrest last December — is among a growing number of Kentucky senior citizens charged in a crackdown on a crime authorities say is rampant in Appalachia: Elderly people are reselling their painkillers and other medications to addicts.

“When a person is on Social Security, drawing $500 a month, and they can sell their pain pills for $10 apiece, they’ll take half of them for themselves and sell the other half to pay their electric bills or buy groceries,” Floyd County jailer Roger Webb said.’

When people are forced to choose between pain medication and food, maybe instead of sending them to jail you could increase their social security benifits? Fucken stupid.

`The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles. [..]

Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool. [..]

When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.’

`ESA has confirmed the principle of a new space thruster that may ultimately give much more thrust than today’s electric propulsion techniques. The concept is an ingenious one, inspired by the northern and southern aurorae, the glows in the sky that signal increased solar activity. [..]

Researchers Christine Charles and Rod Boswell at the Australian National University in Canberra, first created plasma double layers in their laboratory in 2003 and realised their accelerating properties could enable new spacecraft thrusters. This led the group to develop a prototype called the Helicon Double Layer Thruster.

The new ESA study, performed as part of ESA’s Ariadna academic research programme in association with Ecole Polytechnique, Paris, confirms the Australian findings by showing that under carefully controlled conditions, the double layer could be formed and remains stable, allowing the constant acceleration of charged particles in a beam. The study also confirmed that stable double layers could be created with different propellant gas mixtures.’

`A pit bull that killed a 64-year-old man in late November is now the focus of a legal battle over whether the animal should live or die.

Roberto Aguilera was found dead in the front yard of his son-in-law’s home on Spanish Grant Drive on Thanksgiving Day. He had been bitten by the dog more than 20 times. The Bexar County Medical Examiner ruled last week that Aguilera died from the attack.

Animal Cruelty investigators want the pit bull put to sleep, but said Aguilera’s son-in-law has threatened legal action if the dog is not returned to him.’

`11. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can’t be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists. [..]

13. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists. [..]

14. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there’s really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists — it’s too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists. [..]

17. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists. [..]

DORE’S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.’

‘At last the definitive collection of Alan Jones blooper tapes. These insights in Alan’s workplace behaviour are taken from his time working at Sydney radio station 2UE in the 1990s. They were leaked to us by an anonymous source.

They show a side of Alan you don’t normally see in public life. He swears. He chucks tantrums. He reviews films. He complains about dust in the studios.’

If you don’t know who Alan Jones is, this photo will help:

A funny little cartoon following the adventures of “George” as he learns how to defend himself.

‘George is an ordinary guy, he has a wife and a job and a house and a maid, just like you and me. Yes, the Lord has truly blessed George..’

(various formats)

see it here »

`A police marksman has shot dead a dog after reports its owner was encouraging it to attack members of the public.

Police were called to King Street in Thetford, Norfolk on Monday where they found the German Shepherd and its owner, who was armed with a hammer.

The dog was “a threat to the safety of officers and the public” and was shot dead, Norfolk Police said.

A man, 20, was later arrested and sectioned under the Mental Health Act, a spokesperson confirmed.’

`A mother and daughter were arrested Monday for allegedly running a brothel out of their home, authorities said.

The San Antonio Police Department vice unit broke the case in the 3600 block of San Luis on the city’s west side.

Vangie Fuentes, 22, was arrested and charged with prostitution, possession of cocaine and not having a massage permit.

Her mother, Delia Fuentes, 53, was charged with promotion of prostitution.’

`By themselves, communion wafers are pretty vile. That would explain why they have to “sell” them with a free sip of wine.

So the purpose of this experiment is to find out just what it takes to turn the communion experience from “ow!” to “wow!” We* went to the supermarket and we selected a range of toppings and condiments to serve eucharists with. [..]

*”We” = me and my partner in crime, Gary. Gary hesitantly tried the first few combinations, but after I inflicted the Cheddar ‘n Bacon Cheeze-Whiz ‘n Eucharists combo on him, he resolutely refused to participate further, even after I explained that it was for science. Did Pierre & Marie Curie quit after the first melanoma? No! They forged ahead for science. Sure, they died of cancer, but they did it together.’

If this is the current state of technology, we can do away with all those stupidly overpaid actors and actresses. Pretty impressive.

`The enclosed images are from 11×14 pencil drawings that are the result of an undertaking that began on Thanksgiving Day, 1987. I was awakened in the middle of the night with a clear, vivid impression that the Lord wanted me to do some special drawings — drawings depicting ordinary people in their everyday environment . . . . with one important addition: the presence of Jesus Christ and His involvement in those routine activities.’

`These dim-wit joyriders smile for a speed camera as they race past in a car they’ve just pinched.

The photograph clearly shows the teenage louts – nicknamed Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest by cops – turning round to make sure it gets their best side.

The lad at the wheel does a toothy pose while his jeering mate hangs out of the window.

Another of the baseball cap-wearing yobs is grinning from ear to ear in the backseat.

But the fourth lad does not manage to twist round in time for the camera’s flash.’

with image.

`Images from the battle for Monrovia, Liberia, where use of iron sights is known to be strictly prohibited. Also prohibited are aiming, assuming a supported firing stance, and any common practice of marksmanship whatsoever. Hip-Hop/Rapper/Gangsta shooting stances are mandatory, the “Glock Foh-Tay” hold being the most popular. lethality is acheived by subjecting the target to a wide swathe of area fire, simliar to unaimed indirect artillery, or scaring the enemy away with gesturing and aggressive hip-hop style dancing while firing. Points are awarded for artistic effort, style, fearsome facial expression/vocalizations and blue duct tape.’

Flash version of Command and Conquer. Fully working multiplayer real time strategy game, apparently.

`They were jetting off for a holiday in Kingston, Jamaica, and the drinks flowed freely during the ten-hour flight.

Intoxicated, the couple, who were seated in business class, decided to submit their membership for the ‘mile-high club’ in one of the toilets.

But the British Airways flight staff became suspicious after hearing cries of passion from the loo, and the randy couple was ordered to stop and return to their seats.

Randy quickly turned into angry.

Stunned passengers watched in horror as the couple fought with flight staff.’

More sex rage:

`A couple who forced a Jamaica-bound plane to land in Bermuda are facing a J$3.8 million bill.

The pair had attacked cabin crew who stopped them having sex, and now run the risk of national shame back in England after United Kingdom tabloid The Sun ran the story with an appeal for the public to name and shame them.’

Altho, J$3.8mil ~ US$58,950.

`A group of Indians in southern Colombia have created a new soft drink made from coca leaf extract and plan to market their product as an alternative to Coca-Cola.

Coca Sek, a golden, carbonated drink, will go on sale this week in parts of Colombia. But its makers expect they won’t be able to export to the United States due to rules blocking the entry of coca, the main ingredient in cocaine.

The soda looks like apple cider, has a tea-like fragrance and a flavor somewhere between Seven-Up and ginger ale.’

There’s something a bit wrong about holding your 11 week presumably miscarried fetus in your hand in the first place. Taking photos and putting them on the net just compounds the error. Kinda icky.

`Virgin Galactic, the British company created by entrepreneur Richard Branson to send tourists into space, and New Mexico announced an agreement Tuesday for the state to build a $225 million spaceport.

Virgin Galactic also revealed that up to 38,000 people from 126 countries have paid a deposit for a seat on one of its manned commercial flights, including a core group of 100 “founders” who have paid the initial $200,000 cost of a flight upfront. Virgin Galactic is planning to begin flights in late 2008 or early 2009. [..]

The spaceport, to be located some 25 miles south of the town of Truth or Consequences, will be constructed 90 percent underground, with just the runway and supporting structures above ground.’

`A 500-pound man in Seminole County, Fla., was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of scamming fast-food restaurants out of large amounts of milk shakes and tacos, according to a Local 6 News report.

Investigators said George Jolicoeur, 33, would visit fast-food businesses and order food.

Jolicoeur would then call or visit the restaurants posing as a police officer or a firefighter and ask for a refund because there was a hair in his food, according to the report. [..]

“Jolicoeur’s rap sheet is as thick as a book,” Local 6 reporter Chris Trenkmann said. “When he was first checked into the jail in 1991, he weighed 360 pounds. This morning, the jail weighed him at 500 pounds.”‘

`A large object has been found beyond Pluto travelling in an orbit tilted by 47 degrees to most other bodies in the solar system. Astronomers are at a loss to explain why the object’s orbit is so off-kilter while being almost circular.

[..] at 47 degrees, 2004 XR190’s orbit is one of the most tilted, or inclined, Kuiper Belt Objects known. That suggests it was flung out of the solar system’s main disc after a close encounter with another object – such as Neptune or perhaps a star that passed by the Sun billions of years ago. [..]

These traits make the object, nicknamed “Buffy” after the US television series about a vampire slayer, hard to explain. “Maybe Buffy is going to be a bit of a theory slayer,” Allen told New Scientist.’

`US President George W Bush has said that he does not live “in a bubble” and that he is well aware of what is going on outside the White House, rejecting critics’ claims that he is out of touch with public opinion.

“I don’t feel in a bubble,” Bush said in an interview on NBC Nightly News.

Bush said he gets “really good advice” from “very capable people” and that people from all walks of life provide information to him and his advisers.’

`In a recent episode of the NBC series Medium, writers had to work the movie Memoirs of a Geisha into the dialogue three times because of a deal the network made with Sony earlier in the season. They even had the characters go on a date to an early screening of the movie and bump into friends who had just viewed Geisha to tell them how good it was.

Another product placement intruded a touching scene on ABC’s soap opera, All My Children, when writers were forced to incorporate a line about a new Wal-Mart perfume into the dialogue as a character, Greenlee, sat at the bedside of her husband who was suffering from a fatal gunshot wound.’

Maybe it’s just me, but if the marketting is targeting people suffering from fatal gunshot wounds, unless they offer free delivery to hospitals, people are probably gonna be dead before they get a chance to buy it. Unless it’s a daring new line of fragrance for corpses. Odeur de la mort could be the next big thing.

`I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it. [..]

They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown – perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate – I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.’

`An Australian held as a terror suspect at Guantanamo Bay has won a legal battle in the UK High Court to be registered as a British citizen. [..]

A judge in London ruled that Home Secretary Charles Clarke has “no power in law” to deprive Mr Hicks of his citizenship “and so he must be registered”.

Mr Hicks’ lawyers will now press ministers to make arrangements for him to take the required citizenship oath and pledge.

They will then urge the Home Office to seek his release from the detention camp in Cuba in the same way it has won freedom for all nine other British citizens held there.’

Some amusing comics.

`Britain’s youngest grandmother has spoken of her shock over learning that her 12-year-old daughter had given birth.

The 26-year-old woman said she had been devastated by the news but intended to support her daughter and baby grandson. [..]

The baby’s grandmother, who gave birth herself at 14, told a news conference at Rotherham police station: “We had no idea she was pregnant. Nobody in the family did.

“She had put on a little bit of weight but we didn’t suspect anything.

“I couldn’t believe it when it started happening and I even threatened to smack an ambulance man when he said she had given birth.”‘