moonbuggy

It’s funny because her dad is president of America. And he’s a fucktard.

[a cross between a fuckwit and a retard, you know]

You love biphallic sex. Go on, have a look.

Don’t worry, it’s safe for work.

Graaaagh!

`A face moisturiser made out of semen has been launched in Mexico.

Porn star Lyn May, who is in her sixties, is behind the company producing the cream.

Mrs May swears that the Semen moisturizer is capable of erasing wrinkles and leaves skin soft.

She told Las Ultimas Noticias: “I select attractive young man and pay them for their semen that is mixed with honey and oats to create the moisturiser.”‘

`My mom caught me and my friend jacking off together a couple of years ago, and now she tells everybody that I’m gay. She even goes to all of these parents of gay kid support meeting things and fucking blabs her big mouth about how hard it is for her to cope and shit. I’m not gay, ‘tho. It was only that one time, and I like girls. I keep telling her to shut up about it, but she won’t listen. I’m gonna get back at her. I’ve got videos of her fingering herself in the bathtub that I’m going to post on the net.’

I might have posted this before, but some of them are pretty funny so I’ll post it again just incase. :)

Relatively safe for work.

`A couple buying an older home trusted that county health inspectors would do their jobs. Instead that trust may have been betrayed. [..]

“I got out and I was very upset because I realized that I was showering in our own crap,” Elizabeth Morton said.

She said it made her skin crawl.

“We are recycling our own feces, showering in it, brushing our teeth in it, for two months,” Chris DeSarle said.’

`Emergency managers in Indian River County, hard-hit by hurricanes last year, thought the best way to get out weather alerts was by e-mail — until they learned that AOL was tagging the messages as spam. [..]

About 4,200 people signed up for the county’s e-mail alert service, offering quick alerts on hurricanes, tornadoes and other weather emergenciess. [..]

But not everyone was receiving the alerts. “We know it’s going out but, in the heat of the moment, it’s not a reliable system,” [some guy] said.’

`Authorities in Lake County say a 14-year-old Lake Villa boy died from electrocution over the weekend after crashing a car, being ejected from it and hitting power lines nearly 50 feet above the ground.’

That’s why you need to wear a seatbelt. :)

`A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it’s actually the far less ominous 616.’

`A man who declared a holy war against his flatmate and attacked him because he believed he had contaminated his dairy products has been jailed in Queensland. [..]

While having a cup of tea with Owen, Burke attacked him with a brush hook, shouting: “Jihad, Jihad, Bin Laden, Bin Laden.”

He swung the gardening implement at Owen, striking him in the ankle.

Owen escaped from the house with minor cuts and scratches.’

`Ok, so it may not be the quick and dirty DRM-stripdown we’d all been hoping for, but some Czech dude who goes by tj21 was apparently able to break down Windows Media DRM 9 on a Japanese Terminator 2 DVD [..]’

I don’t like DRM.

` Make 2.4GHz parabolic mesh dishes from cheap but sturdy Chinese cookware scoops & a USB WiFi adaptor ! The largest (300mm diam)shows 15-18dB gain (enough for a LOS range extension to 3-5km), costs ~US$5 & comes with a user friendly bamboo handle that suits WLAN fieldwork- if you can handle the curious stares!’

`This is small MP3 player. It’s cheap and of excellent quality. An MMC has only seven pins and is currently the cheapest flash memory on the market! SD cards are now fully supported!

Powered by a single AAA (HR03) 1V2 Ni-Mh battery. Runs on a 18LF452 at 20 MhZ.

Up to 256 kBps bitrate at 44,1 kHz supported. VBR may peak at 320 kBps. ID3 v2.3 tags supported.’

If only the clock was a bit slower..

Pictures are not safe for work.

Not safe for work.

(1.1meg Quicktime)

`Wrapping up his investigation into Saddam Hussein’s purported arsenal, the CIA’s top weapons hunter in Iraq said his search for weapons of mass destruction “has been exhausted” without finding any.

Nor did he find any evidence that such weapons were shipped officially from Iraq to Syria to be hidden before the U.S. invasion, but he couldn’t rule out some unofficial transfer of limited WMD-related materials. [..]

“As matters now stand, the WMD investigation has gone as far as feasible,” wrote Charles Duelfer, head of the Iraq Survey Group, in an addendum to the report he issued last fall. “After more than 18 months, the WMD investigation and debriefing of the WMD-related detainees has been exhausted.”‘

Big suprise, eh?

Definately not safe for work. Literally what the title says. You’ll see. :)

(1meg .wmv)

`I’ve been thinking about transubstantiation, the belief of many branches of Christianity that when you take communion, the bread and wine transform physically into the flesh and blood of Christ. According to the Catholic Church as late as 1965, this is literally true, not just symbolism: the flesh is present, the bread is gone.

So let’s run some numbers. [..]

So how big is Jesus?

If you conservatively assume that these are the End Times and that Jesus will soon be completely consumed (a detail that I do not believe is a part of mainstream Christian dogma), then he weighs twenty million times more than you, and contains ninety-two billion times as much blood. (20,282,528× and 92,000,000,000×).’

(300k .mp3)

see it here »

`..the movies is where I feel your boobies’

Safe for work if you have headphones. :)

(streaming shockwave)

`A 20-year-old man presented to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. A well-nourished, well-developed man without signs of intoxication was admitted in no apparent distress. Digital examination of the rectum revealed a stony hard mass. Abdominal plain films showed a vertically oriented, low-lying radiopaque object in the rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass. A blood alcohol level was negative. No other drug testing was performed.

Upon further questioning, the patient said that approximately 4 hrs earlier he and his boyfriend had been “fooling around.” After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet against the wall at a 45-degree angle while his boyfriend poured the mixture through a funnel into his rectum. After the concrete mass hardened, it became so painful that he sought medical care.’

`41. The Elephant
Walk around the office with your pockets out and your cock dangling from your open zipper. When confronted, make an elephant noise and then chase them around screaming, “STAMPEDE” and laughing hysterically. [..]

29. The Skeptic
Anytime you are in a meeting, raise your hand and and ask your boss, “What makes you so smart?” or “How’d you figure that Einstein?” or “You come up with that all by yourself, champ?” [..]

24. The Birthday Dick
For your boss’ birthday get him a cake that reads, “Happy Birthday Dick.” Explain that it was a mix up at the bakery. Then write “Happy Birthday Dick” on his card.

If his name is actually Dick, get a cake that says, “Happy Birthday Vagina.”‘

Pretty cool. Watch it until the end if you’re gonna watch it at all. :)

(1.5meg Quicktime)

`Invoking the name “Martin Luther King” and screaming “Black Power!” a gang of up to 30 black teens attacked four white girls in Marine Park in what police are saying is not a bias crime. [..]

Witnesses say the attackers were all black and called their victims “white crackers” during the bloody melee, which raged for almost 20 minutes.

“This is not being looked at as a bias crime,” NYPD Deputy Inspector Kevin McGinn said at the meeting.’

`Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.’

This one has me as a secular humanist. Worst religions for me are roman catholicism, orthadox judaism and islam.

(1meg Shockwave)

`After a mystery technical snarl sent Seven off the air, viewers remained staunch. And its 48 minutes of beige, blank, soundless screen was preferred over SBS and, at times, the ABC. [..]

SBS’s Dateline program tracking a volunteer doctor through the Congo had 105,000 fewer Melbourne viewers than Seven’s non-event. And the ABC’s acclaimed new comedy Nighty Night could have gone to bed early. It drew 35,000 fewer viewers than Seven’s ad, sound and vision-free offering.

Even at its lowest point, the blank screen had 88,000 fans – more than anything SBS ran all day.’

`The Newark man who was mistakenly accused of cannibalism is suing a doctor and the Newark and Parsippany police departments.

Victor Salazar and his wife said they suffered embarrassment and needed counseling after an X-ray at Immediate Medical Care Center in Parsippany last year raised questions about his diet.

When a doctor asked if he had eaten any bones, Salazar forgot about the soup he had the day before that included pieces of chicken feet.

Radiologists and the Morris County medical examiner wondered if the film showed bits of finger bones, so police began an investigation.’