moonbuggy

But over in a cold part of the square is the enclosure of the dark ones.

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‘A Father Christmas has hung up his Santa suit after he claiming he’s been sacked for saying “ho, ho, ho!”

John Oakes, 70, says he was fired from a department store in Cairns, Australia, for using Santa’s famous greeting and singing carols.

He claims agency employer Westaff ordered their Santas to say “ha, ha, ha” instead of “ho, ho, ho” because “ho” is a derogatory US slang word for a woman.

Mr Oakes told the Cairns Post: “After my shift on Monday, I got a call from my manager telling me my services were no longer required.

“I hadn’t done anything wrong so I asked her why, and she said, “You said ho, ho, ho and that’s not appropriate”.’

This man could lick his own arsehole.

If he wanted to.

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‘After playing World of Warcraft, the 12 year old boy knew how to cope when he was attacked by a moose in the forest.

In the article he describes how he first yelled at the moose, distracting it so his sister got away, then when he got attacked and the animal stood over him he feigned death. “Just like you learn at level 30 in World of Warcraft.”‘

I’ve spent the week playing with all sorts of settings on the server. It’s now running dramatically faster. So dramatic that the whole thing could be made into movie staring Tom Cruise called “The Midget vs. MySQL”.

Not that I’m a midget. It’s just that Tom Cruise is.

In any case, everything should be running much better now. I also pretty much rewrote the entire image site code, piece by piece as I was optimizing things, so it’s much cleaner now and is running much faster aswell.

So, hooray. :)

‘This was the incredible scene after a car cartwheeled more than 100ft through the air before embedding itself in a first-floor flat.

John Gordon’s Volvo took off after hitting a tree on a roundabout and flew until it crashed into the flats 15ft off the ground and facing backwards.

The car smashed into a lounge where 19-year-old Laura Stevens had been a few seconds earlier. [..]

Engineers had to spend three hours dismantling the wall of the flats in Werrington, Peterborough, before they could remove the car.

Mr Gordon, from Peterborough, hit the roundabout at around 9.10am on Saturday, clipped a tree and bounced before being catapulted into the air.

His car cartwheeled so it entered Miss Stevens’s flat backwards, sending debris flying on to the floor.’

And when your dreams are on a train to train wreck town..

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‘A surgery meant to reverse a colostomy on a Dover man went horribly wrong last year, resulting in fecal mater being discharged from his penis and urine passing through his colon, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

During the procedure, the suit alleges doctors at Kent General Hospital improperly stapled the colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump. This left the patient with diarrhea, as well as gas and liquid stool passing from his penis.

The man was taken to Christiana Hospital 12 days later to have the procedure corrected, but not until after much suffering and embarrassment as well as “disfigurement and disability,” the suit claims. It also affected life at home with his wife, who also is suing the three doctors involved in the allegedly botched procedure, Surgical Associates P.A. and Bayhealth Medical Center Inc.’

‘Sophisticated scans have revealed the eating disorder anorexia is linked to specific patterns of brain activity.

Even young women recovering from anorexia who have maintained a healthy weight for over a year had vastly different brain activity patterns.

The findings in the American Journal of Psychiatry point to a brain region linked to anxiety and perfectionism.’

‘Cashier: How are you?

Customer: Do you want the honest answer?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: I feel like the business end of a donkey. I am extremely hungover and did a mountain of cocaine last night. Now I have to make dinner for a 68-year-old gay artist who is trying to fuck me.

Cashier: I’m… sorry.

Customer: And the woman I love is in another state pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby, and I wish the baby was mine. And I’m sleeping with a dominatrix. And it’s all true.’

‘SUMMARY
During normal operation or in Safe mode, your computer may play “Fur Elise” or “It’s a Small, Small World” seemingly at random. This is an indication sent to the PC speaker from the computer’s BIOS that the CPU fan is failing or has failed, or that the power supply voltages have drifted out of tolerance. This is a design feature of a detection circuit and system BIOSes developed by Award/Unicore from 1997 on.

MORE INFORMATION
Although these symptoms may appear to be virus-like, they are the result of an electronic hardware monitoring component of the motherboard and BIOS. You may want to have your computer checked or serviced.’

‘”Holy shit.”

Inside the cockpit of the cruising airliner, Captain Bob Pearson was understandably alarmed at the out-of-the-ordinary beeps that were chiming from his flight computer. On the control panel, an amber low fuel pressure warning lamp lit up to punctuate the audio alarm.

First Officer Maurice Quintal, copilot of Air Canada Flight 143, checked the indicator light to determine the cause of the computer’s complaints. “Something’s wrong with the fuel pump,” he reported.

The mustachioed Captain Pearson pulled out the trusty Boeing handbook, his fingers dashing through the pages to find the specifics of the warning. To his relief, the troubleshooting chart indicated that the situation was not as perilous as it might seem: the fuel pump in the left wing tank was signaling a problem, a minor issue considering that gravity would continue to feed the engines even if the pump failed. [..]’

‘The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago.

Centerton Mayor Ken Williams said he has been living under an assumed name for nearly 30 years. He had been mayor since 2001.

Williams told authorities he was born Don LaRose and that in the mid-1970s, he was a preacher in Indiana. He said he was abducted and brainwashed into forgetting all about his life as Don LaRose.

It was a double-life he had never acknowledged, Williams said, because he didn’t even realize it existed until he had recently taken a truth-serum injection.’

A grandmother’s reaction to 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

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‘Carol, who asked that her last name not be used for fear of making herself or her land a target for vandals, called for help recently when she arrived at some vacant property she owns in east Austin and found her security chain gone.

She grabbed her new Casio G’zOne phone from Verizon Wireless, which to her horror made an audible alarm when she called 911.

Fearing vandals were still on the property, she hung up and hid, then put her hand over the earpiece and dialed again to muffle the sounds.

“I was afraid the criminals were down the driveway and they would hear and they would know somebody was doing something and they would come out to stop me,” she said.

The alarm is not ear-splitting, but it is loud enough to be heard at least several yards away.’

A friend of mine said she’d shave her head if she could get $1,000 in donations towards education for some kids in Kenya. Apparently people like to help children in Kenya, or they really want to see her with no hair. Either way, the money was raised and the hair came off.

Kenyans will be able to read, and muppet’s skull will be cold. It’s a win-win situation.

I think she should glue the hair she’s chopped off to her boyfriend’s face whilst he sleeps so he wakes up thinking he’s a wolfman. That would be a win-win-win situation. :)

Hopefully there’ll be a wolfman video in the near future, but for now the video of the hair removal will have to suffice. :)

Good stuff!

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‘Gropecunt Lane was a name used in English-speaking towns and cities in the Middle Ages for streets where prostitutes conducted their business. In most cases, the name would appear to derive directly from the words grope (sexual touching), and cunt (female genitalia). At one point there were streets of this name in many cities in Britain and Ireland, though in most cases later sensibilities changed the name to some more polite variation.

In London, the street that was Gropecunt Lane was near the present-day site of the Barbican Centre in the City of London. The street was called Grub Street in the 18th century, but renamed Milton Street in 1830. It is possible that the street known as Gropecunte Lane is now known as Threadneedle Street, however.’

‘Astronomers have discovered white dwarf stars with pure carbon atmospheres. These stars possibly evolved in a sequence astronomers didn’t know before.

They may have evolved from stars that are not quite massive enough to explode as supernovae but are just on the borderline. All but the most massive two or three percent of stars eventually die as white dwarfs rather than explode as supernovae.

When a star burns helium, it leaves “ashes” of carbon and oxygen. When its nuclear fuel is exhausted, the star then dies as a white dwarf, which is an extremely dense object that packs the mass of our sun into an object about the size of Earth. Astronomers believe that most white dwarf stars have a core made of carbon and oxygen which is hidden from view by a surrounding atmosphere of hydrogen or helium.

They didn’t expect stars with carbon atmospheres.’

‘Put your butt to use: Cigarette butts are a perfect fit for gun barrels and can help keep out dirt, sand or water. And they shoot out easily when the weapon is fired. For non-smokers, there are other options: in Vietnam, soldiers rubber-banded condoms around the tops of their guns.’

‘A homeless contractor known as the “mole man” dug a multi-room 200-square foot home underground in Fresno that surprised police when they recently stumbled upon a hidden entrance. [..]

The home had a bed, a leak-proof roof, a kitchen and escape hatch, Local 6 reported.

Tracy said it took him about 2 months with a shovel and other tools to carve out the underground rooms.

The state said it is a danger to people living nearby and plan to demolish it.

Tracy said it is no big deal and he is already looking for a new location for his next underground home.’

<dude> this is belgium at its best
<dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change
<dude> beat that

‘The capacity for free will is said to reside in the brain’s frontal lobes, which enable us to decide what actions we will take. Now researchers have discovered a spot in the frontal lobes that could be called the home of our “free won’t.”

The dorsal fronto-median cortex (dFMC), located in the center of the brain behind the forehead, becomes active when we inhibit an action, according to the authors of a paper in the Journal of Neuroscience. Researchers Marcel Brass and Patrick Haggard think this may explain why some people are less adept at restraining their impulses.

“The capacity to withhold an action that we have prepared but reconsidered is an important distinction between intelligent and impulsive behavior,” said Brass, of the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences and of Ghent University. This could have significant neuroethical implications, the authors state in their paper, since the inability to restrain impulses has been linked to antisocial and criminal behavior.’

‘A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a makeshift campfire, and to the ranger’s horror, eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like this:

JUDGE: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?”

MAN: “Yes I do. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”

JUDGE: “Proceed.”

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‘New research is pointing to a different possibility: There may be no adaptive advantage provided by schizophrenia in and of itself, but rather from some genes that contribute to the disease. According to a study published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, there is evidence that some of the gene variants associated with schizophrenia—especially a mutation in a gene called disrupted-in-schizophrenia 1 (DISC1)—have been selected for by evolution. This supports the idea that the disease may be a maladaptive combination of mutations that individually have the potential to enhance fitness. It could be a more complicated version of the familiar case of sickle cell anemia: having two mutant copies of a certain gene causes the disease, whereas having only one mutant copy provides protection against malaria.’

‘This time I went for chip wood board to get it straight and stable. I also used a 4 layer glass. Two outer layers of 3mm float glass and two inner layers of 3mm plexi glass where the image were engraved. I had to use plexiglass as it conducts light way better than normal glass.’

If I had one tho, it would probably being a glowing goatse door. Because goatse is always funny. :)

This is the wiki entry for Syphilis. Why, you ask? Because this small part of it amuses me greatly:

‘Until that time, as Fracastoro notes, syphilis had been called the “French disease” in Italy and Germany, and the “Italian disease” in France. In addition, the Dutch called it the “Spanish disease”, the Russians called it the “Polish disease”, the Turks called it the “Christian disease” or “Frank disease” (frengi) and the Tahitians called it the “British disease”.’

Also, the spiral shape of the organism is cool. That’s all. :)