moonbuggy

`A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.’

`”In the afternoon, the ground services said they had detected a violation of the Russian air border from Lithuania. A tentative examination showed it was a light plane”, the press service reported.

A SU-27 fighter led by Major Alexei Pletnev rose from a military airfield near Kaliningrad, it said.

“Our fighter approached the trespasser to make it land or leave the Russian air space”, the press service said. “A closer examination showed that there was a cloud instead of the light plane and it was coming from the territory of Lithuania”, noted not without humor the spokesman for the press service of the Baltic fleet.’

`[A] student found as much as $100,000 and handed it out to other children, prompting threats to the children and their families to get the money back. [..]

Easterling said the money, which has not been reported stolen, is likely drug money.

She said that it’s been hard to determine the exact amount found. She said that detectives say it was at least in the thousands, and may range from $30,000 up to $100,000. [..]

On Thursday, there was a strong police presence at the school for first-graders through sixth-graders after a lockdown went into place for a time the day before as rumors swirled about the money and threats of a drive-by shooting [..]’

`The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that masturbating at home is not an offence, even if the activity can be seen by peeking neighbours.

The case centred on whether a private space – Daryl Clark’s living room – became public because others could view it. The high court said No in a unanimous ruling Thursday. “The living room of his private home was not a place ‘to which the public (had) access as of right or by invitation, express or implied,’ ” Justice Morris Fish wrote, quoting the Criminal Code.’

`This is, I believe, the first CD ever recorded of instrumental music featuring non-human players. It’s a project of the Thai Elephant Conservation Center, a government facility in which domestic elephants are making the transition from forest workers to interspecies ambassadors. In keeping with the center’s exploration of human-elephant interaction, a set of instruments were designed with the elephants’ particular dexterity and strength in mind. The resulting music is uniquely fascinating.’

`Perhaps journalists have figured out the ultimate way to become objective: cover all possible bases and consider every angle no matter how unlikely. Perhaps this is CNN’s new approach after cancelling shows like “Crossfire” where ‘experts’ constantly disagreed. It is nice to see all the ‘experts’ agree. CNN’s headline is true since being either dead or alive satisfies both possibilities of that boolean condition.’

with a screenshot.

`Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: “This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time.”‘

I’ve been wondering about this for a while. Ever since I linked to an article titled “How to Fuck With Two Cocks” a steady 5 to 10% of traffic to my site has originated from web searches for the phrase “biphallic”.

Now, I’d never even heard the word “biphallic” before I linked to that article, but it seems a good 5 to 10% of the people reading this post not only have heard the word but are actively seeking it out.

This has been going on for months. Seriously, I just don’t understand.

Is it a fetish of some sort? Do a lot of you have two cocks? Do you only have one cock and are looking for an upgrade?

Do you have three cocks and are looking for a downgrade?

Fuck only knows. If you got here by searching for two cocks, why don’t you add a comment to this post and tell me what you hoped to find..?

I really am curious.

Whilst I don’t deny that my own cock is a magnificent specimen, I’m sorry to say that I only have one of them. So I’m sorry if you are disappointed, and I’m sorry if you didn’t find a multi-phallic overfiend knocking down hospitals and killing nurses with penile-lazers in true hentai style [if that’s what you were looking for]..

But, thanks for visiting anyways. :)

Update: I am still getting lots of traffic for “biphallic” searches. So I’ve decided I’m going to try and sell some dildos. :) Like this..

see it here »

‘Australian Guantanamo Bay detainee Mamdouh Habib was tied to the ground while a prostitute menstruated on him after he failed to co-operate with interrogators, his lawyer said yesterday.

Interrogators also told the Sydney man they had killed his family and superimposed animals’ heads on photos of his wife and children, Mr Habib’s lawyer Steven Hopper said yesterday.’

I wonder how many menstrating prostitutes the US Government keeps on its payroll. Because you never know when you’ll need one.

[shrug] Cunts.

‘A man, who was understood to weigh around 30-stone and was believed to have been drunk, had fallen over in the vehicle and slipped between the driver’s seat and rear seat. He was wedged fast on the floor of the cab, where officers said he was being sick.

Paramedics and firefighters from nearby Whitehaven Fire Station were called out to help. A team of five firefighters took about half an hour to manhandle the man out of the vehicle.’

`Anthony Weiner got a public reminder yesterday that “Mother knows best.”

As the Democratic mayoral hopeful blasted Mayor Bloomberg’s educational policies yesterday, he was quietly corrected by his own mom. [..]

“You basically have one choice in school now in terms of a second language and that’s Spanish,” said Weiner (D-Queens, Brooklyn), a public school alum.

But his mom, Fran, a retired teacher whom he praised earlier, informed him that Latin is still taught in some schools.

After a back-and-forth, Weiner joked: “Please. I can’t be heckled by my own mother.”‘

`Douglas Snead says he’s had this clipboard for many years. But only recently pulled it out of a closet and discovered the image.

The 74-year-old says many of his friends and even his nurse can see the face of Jesus in the details of the board.

He doesn’t know why its there but believes God is sending a message.’

`A blind, terrified 29-year-old Pocket man who was mistakenly convinced he was being pursued by angry neighbors, broke into a senior housing community before dawn Saturday, screaming for help and shooting a gun at his imaginary pursuers.’

`Lexus cars may be vulnerable to viruses that infect them via mobile phones. Landcruiser 100 models LX470 and LS430 have been discovered with infected operating systems that transfer within a range of 15 feet. [..]

It is understood the virus could affect the navigation system of the Lexus models, it transfers onto them via a Bluetooth mobile phone connection. It is still unclear whether the cars in question use the Symbian operating system which has recently been under attack from various worms and viruses.’

`A British man trying to sell a deactivated Soviet-era missile on eBay was forced to delete it after Web site staff contacted him for breaching company rules.

But eBay told Richard Moore, from Cambridgeshire, to remove the missile because he broke eBay regulations by listing it alongside its vehicle launcher, which should have appeared as a separate item — and not because it was a weapon. [..]

Selling demilitarized missiles however is acceptable, an eBay spokesman said.’

`Prime Minister John Howard said today he was sorry to hear that eight Australian soldiers had been injured in a car bombing in Baghdad.

The soldiers were escorting Australian officials in a light armoured vehicle about 5km west of the embassy in Baghdad when a car bomb went off.

“I would like to say how very sorry I was to hear of the injuries sustained by Australian soldiers in Baghdad,” Mr Howard said.’

Meanwhile, the rest of us are sorry the soldiers are in Iraq in the first place.

`A Kuwaiti man has reportedly confessed to killing his 14-year-old daughter because he believed she was having sex. [..]

He allegedly bound and blindfolded his daughter, Haifa, knelt her down in front of her two brothers and sister and then cut her throat.

Forensic tests showed Haifa was still a virgin, police sources said. Mr Enezi is being questioned about the case.’

Questioned, not arrested. Makes sense to me. [shrug]

Smart shoes that adjust their firmness to your speed and have wireless links to your computer and other shoes, etc..

`St. Louis School Board member Bill Haas, who also is running for mayor, says in a Web log that loneliness, depression and financial problems have led him to consider suicide. [..]

“So what’s this about?” he writes. “In a nutshell, I’m 60 years old, still all alone. … Unless something breaks professionally in the next couple of months, I’m going to be out of money and then I’m going to put the animals to sleep and take my life.”‘

‘The Denver Police Department is investigating a sergeant who allegedly threatened to arrest the 26-year-old for displaying the bumper sticker.

Bates said she was told by the sergeant Tuesday that her bumper sticker was illegal because it was profane. She said he told her he’d arrest her if she didn’t remove it.

But City Attorney Cole Finegan said he doesn’t believe there’s any city ordinance against displaying a profane bumper sticker.’

You can’t let people get away with having bumper stickers. Next thing you know they’ll be wanting to smoke _and_ have jobs.

Updated. More here.

`State officials said the increase in reported assaults resulted from their vigilance in punishing offenders.

However, inmate advocates said the problem is greater than the state figures show. They have begun a nationwide legal campaign against assaults and the complacency that they say allows them to flourish.

“I really have become convinced over the last three years or so that Texas is the prison-rape capital of the country,” said Margaret Winter, a lawyer who represents two inmates who sued the prison system. “When prisoners report it, they are ignored, laughed at and often punished.”‘

When the world comes to its senses and Bush is convicted of crimes against humanity, it would be fitting that he serve gaol time in his home state. :)

`By taking the test you will know where you stand on the Matrix, which Political System fits you best, and which Political Ideology you most closely match.’

Apparently I’m a moderate socialist.

`A prefectural board of education survey found Monday that 15.4% of Nagasaki Prefecture primary and junior high school students believe dead people can be resurrected. As to why they believe this, half said it is because they have seen stories about resurrection on television or read them in books.’

`A woman who tried out a foot massager in a Hong Kong shop had to be rescued by firefighters.

The woman, 44, was 15 minutes into the trial when she realised her foot was stuck, reports the South China Morning Post.’

‘Twenty-three terror suspects tried to hang or strangle themselves at the U.S. military base in Guantanamo Bay during a mass protest in 2003, the military confirmed Monday. [..]

U.S. Southern Command described it as “a coordinated effort to disrupt camp operations and challenge a new group of security guards from the just-completed unit rotation.”‘

Or it could just be that they’d rather be dead than tortured all day long. [shrug]

More mass hanging news.

`Using CNN, the Pentagon’s preferred channel for information management, Brigadier General Lessel confirmed that a dramatic 50 per cent reduction in terrorist activity had been seen over recent days, and indicated that a spectacular attack on a key target might be impending.

“We think it’s a calm before the storm,” he said. “And that they are unable to sustain the level of attacks they’ve had, but that they’re saving up for something more spectacular in the coming days.”‘

`I thought parachute jumping was enough, but this bloke has to make a spectacular landing aswell’

(1.4meg .wmv)

‘Four employees of a health care company have been fired for refusing to take a test to determine whether they smoke cigarettes.

Weyco Inc., a health benefits administrator based in Okemos, Mich., adopted a policy Jan. 1 that allows employees to be fired if they smoke, even if the smoking happens after business hours or at home. [..]

Chief Financial Officer Gary Climes estimated that 18 to 20 of the company’s 200 employers were smokers when the policy was announced in 2003. Of those, as many as 14 quit smoking before the policy went into effect. The company offered them help to kick the habit.

“That is absolutely a victory,” Climes said.’

An absolute victory for fascism, at least. :)