`Greetings and suck me. I’m Jeff Woods, maintenance programmer for Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided. As a maintenance programmer it is my responsibility to manage existing code, write bug fixes, integrate new code while analyzing its impact on existing functionality and be the brunt of your jokes and flames on the forums. Suck me. I’m writing this Friday Feature because I’m about sick of your, the valued customer’s, torrent of never ending sass-mouth and ill-informed crap. I repeat, suck me. Suck me long. Suck me hard.’
`The Museum Of Bad Art (MOBA) is the world’s only museum dedicated to the collection, preservation, exhibition and celebration of bad art in all its forms.’
`German luxury carmaker BMW unveiled the world’s fastest hydrogen-powered car at the Paris auto show on Wednesday, dubbed the H2R, capable of exceeding 300 kilometers (185 miles) per hour.’
`Critics of the Diebold touch-screen voting machines turned their attention Wednesday from the machines themselves to the computers that will tally the final vote, saying the outcome is so easy to manipulate that even a monkey could do it.
And they showed video of a monkey hacking the system to prove it. [..]
The entire voting record can be deleted by choosing “reset the election” on a drop-down menu [..]’
Here’s the monkey video. (7meg Quicktime)
`The string, developed at Cornell University, US, is only 10 atoms across, a million times smaller than a normal guitar string.
It is made from a carbon nanotube, formed from a sheet of carbon one atom thick and rolled into a cylinder.’
`Sinead O’Connor has taken out a full-page ad to proclaim her sanity. [..]
The 2,000 essay also asks “If ye all think I am such a crazy person why do ye use me to sell your papers?”‘
`My wife left me with two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night and I’m sat in a chair here and she’s out there decorating. She won’t put any food on or anything for anybody [..]’
`Each SkinBag is handmade on demand.
• Material : synthetic human skin
• Colour : available in all shades of human skin colour
b l a c k , a s i a n , p i n k w h i t e , m i x e d …’
Again, if anyone asks, I suggest you invoke the “Ancient Practice!” clause. :)
I just like the way they’ve used “ANCIENT PRACTICE” as a caption for that photo. :) It’s safe for work: just yell “Ancient Practice!” if anyone asks what you’re looking up on the web.
`the all-male all-live tribute to the material girl!’
with videos. :)
`This site is for fellow Ninjas to get together to meet and to have fun! So whether you’re looking for a new training partner or someone to help you with your next assassination attempt, you’ll be sure to find them right here!!’
German hip-hop side-scrolling shooter. The music is just grand. :)
`According to UK internet car insurer,esure, your first name and the colour of car that you choose can make a big difference to how likely you are to make a claim on your car insurance.
Almost a third (30%) of men called Lloyd are likely to make a claim on their car insurance over the course of a year, and the same is true of more than a third (35%) of women named Natasha.’
`”Do you know what that means? Rude, vile pigs. That’s what all of you are.”
One of the photographers shouted back: “Why don’t you get out of Taiwan?”
John replied: “We’d love to get out of Taiwan if it’s full of people like you. Pig! Pig!”‘
`The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland’s Klingon community [..], may spell trouble for President George W. Bush. [..]
“On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush,” explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland.’
`A Bridgeport man has been charged with manslaughter, accused of killing another man with an umbrella. [..]
Luther Williams, 50, died at Bridgeport Hospital Tuesday as a result of a traumatic brain injury suffered in the attack.
According to police, Williams and Hill were arguing on a Bridgeport street about money. Police said that Hill, who was carrying an umbrella, swung it around and plunged it into Williams’ eye.’
`Yelling loudly, the 35-year-old woman attacked “Office Baroque,” a cutout section of wall by American artist Gordon Matta-Clark, doing a series of head-over-heels flips before landing on the work in a handstand, punching both her arms through the drywall, said Klaus Dieter Lehmann, president of Berlin’s Prussian Cultural Heritage Foundation.’
`The bizarre episode began at 12:30 a.m. [..] as the manager was closing up for the night, police sources said.
The manager went up to Steven Scott, 33, and asked him to leave, but the stubborn customer refused, authorities said.
Scott became so enraged that he pulled down his pants and urinated on some merchandise in the store, sources said.
After swiping four DVDs and a blank tape, Scott fled the store, the sources said.’
`A football trainer who hung a 16year-old player by his wrists naked from goalposts and used him for penalty target practice has been sacked. The scandal happened near Bonn, Germany.’
That’s all there is on this one.
`Obese children are costing U.S. schools millions of dollars every year in lost funding and may be lowering test scores as well, a report released by a former U.S. surgeon general said on Thursday. [..]
“The majority of American youth are sedentary and do not eat well,” the report says.’
`A 66-year-old hunter is recovering from a grizzly bear attack in Wyoming that left him bloodied but not beaten.
“I’m ready to go hunting again once I get out of here,” Wally Cash said Wednesday, even though he might have to wait until his 20 stitches are taken out.’
You can rate anything these days.
`Pring-Wilson left a message for Jennifer Hansen, a former girlfriend he had been out with that night. In the message, Pring-Wilson tells Hansen he was attacked as he walked home from the bar they had just left.
“I just got attacked by a group. I fended them off. I stabbed him a couple of times and um, don’t repeat this to the police,” Pring-Wilson is heard to say on the tape.
Prosecutors consider the message a key piece of evidence.’
`A Guatemala soccer team made up of prostitutes cried foul after being ejected from a tournament because of their profession.
“Just for being prostitutes, society marginalises us, and we want to exercise our rights as women and as mothers,” said the team captain, Valeria, who did not give her last name.’
`A Branson man has put a face to the anonymous references people often make to “they” by changing his name to just that: “They.” [..]
It’s just They, no surname.
He also has changed his driver’s license to reflect his new name.
They said he did it for humor to address the common reference to “they.”‘
`a grad student comic strip’
