moonbuggy

‘Do you love Harry Potter, but think you’re too old and too awesome to be seen reading the books?

We have the solution, my friend. Print these out and you can safely read your Potter in front of all those ex Navy SEALS at the local strip club.’

I think I might have to start disguising my books as “Memories of a Shark Fucker”. :)

‘A five-year-old boy is being treated in hospital after using a park slide smeared with a mixture of caustic soda and shampoo in Dysart, near Kirkcaldy.

He suffered extensive burns on his legs and bottom and is in Edinburgh’s Royal Hospital for Sick Children.

Three other youngsters had to undergo medical checks for similar, but not so serious, injuries.

It is believed the boy and his friends found the substance in a litter bin and rubbed it on the slide themselves.’

‘A Monessen High School teacher resigned after winning a date with a porn star during a satellite radio contest.

The school board voted to accept Jaison Biagini’s resignation on Tuesday.

While listening to the “Bubba the Love Sponge” radio show on Sirius satellite radio, Mr. Biagini won the trip last month to St. Petersburg, Fla., to meet with porn star Akira.

Mr. Biagini, who uses a wheelchair, was interviewed on the radio show after returning home. He said that he was ridiculed for his disability and offended by how he was portrayed on the show. He also expressed concerns about his teaching job. [..]

Mr. Biagini, who taught art for 14 years at the school, said he entered the contest because he wanted to win the free trip and visit the Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg. He described the date as being “all fake and staged.”‘

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‘A local woman killed a raccoon with her bare hands Thursday when the animal attacked a young boy.

Officials with Cheshire animal control say the woman was walking in the woods around 11 a.m. with a group of children when the animal bit the 5-year-old son of a friend. She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said.

The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies.’

‘It’s safe to go back into the waters off Britain — reports of a man-eating shark that have made front page headlines were just a great white lie.

British newspapers reported Thursday that stories they had eagerly followed in recent weeks about sightings of a killer Great White shark lurking in the waters off Cornwall, southwest England, had in fact been made up.

Doorman Kevin Keeble sparked the media feeding frenzy when he sent pictures to his local paper of a shark he photographed during a fishing trip to South Africa, jokingly claiming the photo was taken near the British surfing resort of Newquay.

“I didn’t expect anyone would be daft enough to take it seriously,” newspapers quoted him as saying. “I can’t believe the story went so big.”‘

‘A painkiller used by 60,000 Australians has been ordered off the shelves after the deaths of two people.

The Therapeutic Goods Administration yesterday announced the urgent recall of the drug Prexige, used to treat osteoarthritis and acute pain. Patients using the drug, also known by its chemical name lumiracoxib, are advised to stop taking it immediately and ask their doctor for an alternative prescription.

The TGA made the decision after receiving reports of eight people who suffered serious liver reactions, including two deaths and two liver transplants. Six of the reports occurred since the beginning of July.’

‘It has become increasingly popular to speak of racial and ethnic diversity as a civic strength. From multicultural festivals to pronouncements from political leaders, the message is the same: our differences make us stronger.

But a massive new study, based on detailed interviews of nearly 30,000 people across America, has concluded just the opposite. Harvard political scientist Robert Putnam — famous for “Bowling Alone,” his 2000 book on declining civic engagement — has found that the greater the diversity in a community, the fewer people vote and the less they volunteer, the less they give to charity and work on community projects. In the most diverse communities, neighbors trust one another about half as much as they do in the most homogenous settings. The study, the largest ever on civic engagement in America, found that virtually all measures of civic health are lower in more diverse settings.

“The extent of the effect is shocking,” says Scott Page, a University of Michigan political scientist.’

It seems in 1994 Dick Cheney actually talked sense.

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‘An alcoholic nine-year-old boy who waged a two-year crime spree, including car theft, has become Victoria’s youngest prisoner.

The pint-sized menace was locked up in a secure welfare unit this week as authorities attempt to cure him of alcoholism and stop him committing crimes.

The State Government will be asked to explain how the boy was able to carry out his crime spree and descend into a booze battle without welfare authorities stepping in.

The boy, who began offending at the age of seven, came to police notice 35 times in two years, but he could not be charged because of his age.’

‘Tom Rogers, a retired Indianapolis detective, toils away most days in his suburban home office reviewing sexual Web sites and other Internet traffic to see whether they qualify as obscene material whose purveyors should be prosecuted by the Justice Department. [..]

The grant, about $150,000 a year, has helped pay for Mr. Rogers and another retired law enforcement officer in Reno, Nev., to harvest and review complaints about obscene matter on the Internet that citizens register on the Justice Department Web site.

In the last few years, 67,000 citizens’ complaints have been deemed legitimate under the program and passed on to the Justice Department and federal prosecutors.

The number of prosecutions resulting from those referrals is zero.’

‘I’m starting to gather a reputation as a fairly self-sufficient guy. Of course there’s the homebrewing, the woodworking, the gardening, and yes, we’re thinking of getting some chickens. So I was not really surprised when my sisters got me a book on home meat-curing for my birthday, the simply, yet fancily-named Charcuterie. Beyond its appeal as a potential source of deliciousness, the book is stuffed full of great pencil drawings of one of my favorite subjects: meat preparation. Sausage, Prosciutto, Jamon Serrano, Saucisson Sec, and that staple of every Iowan’s diet, sweet, sweet bacon. Home-made bacon. Made … at home. By you. Holy. F-ing. Shit.’

‘The 2007 Miles Franklin Award winner will be among hundreds of books no longer stocked by Australia’s biggest bookstore chain, Angus & Robertson, from the end of next week.

Tower Books, which distributes Alexis Wright’s novel Carpentaria, is among the smaller Australian distributors and publishers which have received a letter from A&R demanding a payment if they want their books to be sold by the company’s 180 bookstores around the country.

The letter from A&R Whitcoulls Group’s commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, said “over 40 per cent of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned” and “invites” recipients to pay amounts said to range between $2500 and $20,000 by August 17.’

The response letter from Tower Books is absolutely hilarious.

‘In one fell swoop this big guy ruins summer for everyone.’

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‘A man accused of having sex with a goat is scheduled to be arraigned on Friday on a animal cruelty charge. Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville’s Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked.

Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat. [..]

He’s the second person charged in the county since the Legislature made bestiality a crime in response to the fatal injury to a man having sex with a horse in Enumclaw.’

Followup to Mr Hands.

‘A megachurch canceled a memorial service for a Navy veteran 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay. [..]

“It’s a slap in the face. It’s like, ‘Oh, we’re sorry he died, but he’s gay so we can’t help you,'” she said Friday.

Wright said High Point offered to hold the service for Sinclair because their brother is a janitor there. Sinclair, who served in the first Gulf War, died Monday at age 46 from an infection after surgery to prepare him for a heart transplant.

The church’s pastor, the Rev. Gary Simons, said no one knew Sinclair, who was not a church member, was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.” [..]

“We did decline to host the service — not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it — yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”‘

Here’s a comic book from 1987. Nobody can beat Chuck Norris, not even ninjas.

‘Next time think twice before you threaten a bunch of kids!’

‘A Morgantown man, his mother and his friend are suing McDonald’s for $10 million.

The man says he bit into a hamburger and had a severe allergic reaction to the cheese melted on it.

Jeromy Jackson, who is in his early 20s, says he clearly ordered two Quarter Pounders without cheese at the McDonald’s restaurant in Star City before heading to Clarksburg.

His mother Trela Jackson and friend Andrew Ellifritz are parties to the lawsuit because they say they risked their lives rushing Jeromy to United Hospital Center in Clarksburg.

The lawsuit alleges Jeromy “was only moments from death” or serious injury by the time he reached the hospital.’

‘Explorer Colonel John Blashford-Snell has had close encounters with vampire bats and angry bees, but his latest brush has been with a rather odd dog.

He spotted a rare breed of Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound, which has two noses, on a recent trip to Bolivia. [..]

He said: “While we were there, sitting by the fire one night, I saw an extraordinary-looking dog that appeared to have two noses.

“I was sober at the time, and then I remembered the story that the legendary explorer Colonel Percy Fawcett came back with in 1913 of seeing such strange dogs in the Amazon jungle.

“Nobody believed him, they laughed him out of court.”‘

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‘Cowboy boots have been banned for on-duty Trenton police officers following a weekend crash.

Officer Michael Herko apparently was wearing slick-soled cowboy boots Sunday when Herko’s foot slipped off the brake and onto the gas pedal, causing Herko’s 1997 Crown Victoria squad car to careen into the front doors of the Smokers Express convenience store on U.S. 129, said Trenton Police Chief Billy Smith.

“He wasn’t going fast and he got his foot right back on the brake,” Smith said. “Nobody got hurt, but he was embarrassed as all get out about this.”

At about 6:15 p.m. Sunday, the front of Herko’s patrol car knocked about a 10-foot-by-10-foot opening where the store’s two glass entry doors had been, Smith said.’

‘He’s 105 years old and could soon be looking for a place to live.

The Fredericksburg man has out lived his money and just can’t afford his home anymore.

But friends and workers at his assisted living facility are stepping up to help — including starting a fundraising Web site. [..]

Watching Haubner, you’d never guess his age.

He exercises 45 minutes every day. The former lumberyard worker and Army veteran likes to show off his muscles. [..]

Haubner lived by himself up to just three years ago, when he hurt himself riding a bicycle at age 102.’

‘Bryan Connelly, convicted of forgery charges, is accused of making an unusual choice in seeking a hit man to kill the prosecutor: the judge who sentenced him.

Galveston County District Court Judge David Garner said Connelly, 34, of Santa Fe, was among those defendants who “think outside the box” for allegedly writing a letter offering him $5,000 to kill former prosecutor Donnie Quintanilla, now in private practice in Galveston.

Connelly wrote a second letter to his defense attorney, Houston lawyer Jonathan Cox, offering him $5,000 to kill Garner, special prison prosecutor Alice Gregg said.

“I want Judge David Garner dead and I want you to kill him for me,” the letter to Cox read, according to Gregg. “If you decide not to kill Mr. Garner for me, I will kill him myself after I kill you.”‘

‘The 66-year search for the wreck of HMAS Sydney, on which 645 Australians lost their lives, is almost certainly over.

A group of West Australians using just a grappling hook and an underwater camera last weekend found what they are sure is the Sydney, which sank after a battle with the German raider Kormoran on November 19, 1941.

Video film of the discovery shows scenes of tangled wreckage over a vast expanse of deck, much longer than any other vessel known to have sunk in the area.

The search team believe a series of details clearly visible on their video — decking bolts, extensive radio aerials, steam tubes and signs of massive damage — all point to the Sydney.’

Two little kittens having a bit of a wrestle when a third cat comes along and quickly stops the action.

I think it’s a technique I’ll have to learn incase I’m ever around a fight. :)

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‘A woman attacked a karaoke singer belting out Coldplay on Thursday night, telling him he “sucked” before she pushed and punched him to get him to stop singing, bar staff said.

The man was singing “Yellow” when it happened.

“It took three or four of us to hold her down,” bartender Robert Willmette said.

When she was escorted outside, the 21-year-old woman “went crazy,” Willmette said, throwing punches at him and others, including an off-duty police officer.

Patrol officers and detectives then arrived at the neighborhood bar and blocked off the street, which inflamed the woman’s rage even more, a police report said. Before police could handcuff the woman, she headbutted the off-duty officer at least twice.’

‘Iranian newspapers have long poured scorn on the debauchery and deviousness of the British Foreign Office.

But now the criticism has been cranked up further with the alleged discovery of a secret tunnel used to sneak “spies and prostitutes” into the British embassy in Tehran.

The passage was been uncovered by workmen, according to reports.

Labourers digging foundations for a carpet shop opposite the embassy on an avenue in the heart of the capital stumbled across what was described as a “huge” underground passageway. [..]

When in 1994 Iran claimed a listening device was found in the wall of its embassy in London, Britain was denounced as the “land of spies and pirates”.’

‘Canada fired a warning shot in a new Cold War over the vast resources of the far North by announcing last night that it will build two new military bases in the Arctic wilderness.

A week after Russia laid claim to the North Pole in what is rapidly becoming a global scramble for the region’s vast oil and gas reserves, Stephen Harper, the Canadian Prime Minister, said that Canada would open a new army training centre for cold-weather fighting at Resolute Bay, and a deep-water port at Nanisivik, on the northern tip of Baffin Island. The country is also beefing up its military presence in the far North with 900 Rangers.

[..] “This isn’t the 15th century,” Peter MacKay, the Canadian Foreign Minister, said. “You can’t go around the world and just plant flags and say, ‘We’re claiming this territory’.”‘

Followup to Russians to dive below North Pole.

‘A smudge of driveway sealant resembling the face of Jesus Christ has fetched more than $1,500 in an online auction.

The family that found the image on its garage floor sold it for $1,525.69 on eBay Wednesday, more than a week after the slab of concrete was put on sale.

“I really never thought I’d get any, to be honest,” said Deb Serio, a high school teacher.’