‘A judge ruled Monday in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants.
The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city’s Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson’s expectations of the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign once displayed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.
Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung.’
Followup to $67 Million Suit Over Pants.
‘Condemned prisoner Patrick Knight was executed Tuesday evening for the deaths of an Amarillo-area couple without delivering on a promise to tell a joke in his final statement.
Patrick Knight has been soliciting jokes in the mail and on a Web site, sometimes receiving as many as 20 a day, saying his humor was intended to raise the spirits of other inmates. He said he received as many as 1,300 proposals. [..]
After expressing love to some friends, he said, “I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That’s the biggest joke. I deserve this.”
“And the other joke is that I am not Patrick Bryan Knight and y’all can’t stop this execution now. Go ahead, I’m finished.”‘
Followup to Condemned killer wants to go out with a joke.
‘A 65-year-old St. Louis man is missing after Amtrak personnel, mistaking his diabetic shock for drunk and disorderly behavior, kicked him off a train in the middle of a national forest, according to police in Williams, Ariz.
Police said Roosevelt Sims was headed to Los Angeles but was asked to leave the train shortly before 10 p.m. Sunday at a railroad crossing five miles outside Williams.
“He was let off in the middle of a national forest, which is about 800,000 acres of beautiful pine trees,” Lt. Mike Graham said.
Police said there is no train station or running water at the crossing, which is about two miles from the nearest road, at an elevation of about 8,000 feet.
Amtrak personnel told police dispatchers that Sims was drunk and unruly.
The Sims family said Sims is diabetic and was going into shock.’
A reporter asks a kid with zombie makeup on what he thinks..
Who doesn’t? :)
(990kB Windows media)
see it here »
‘One of the more unpleasant chores of field dressing now takes just seconds to accomplish using the innovative Butt-Out Tool. This tool is the fastest, easiest way to disconnect the anal alimentary canal from deer or similar-sized game. Immediately after harvesting game, insert the Butt-Out Tool into the anal canal and twist until it grabs the membrane. Continue twisting another half turn, then steadily pull the Butt-Out Tool out of the canal. Extract 10″ of membrane, tie the membrane off and cut. Its time-saving ease of use makes this the tool every deer hunter needs in his pack.’
Baltimore police are looking for a few good pairs of pants.
The police department has run out of two popular sizes of the custom-made navy blue uniform pants it provides to every officer, a department spokesman said Wednesday.
Officers who wear size 36 or 38 will have to wait for new pants until a special order comes through.
“We are officially out,” said Officer Troy Harris, a police spokesman. “We’re putting in an emergency order for those two sizes.” [..]
Cadets receive four pairs of pants when they leave the police academy. When officers need a new pair, they get them free but are required to turn in their old ones.’
‘Symptoms of mental retardation and autism have been reversed for the first time in laboratory mice.
US scientists created mice that showed symptoms of Fragile X Syndrome – a leading cause of mental retardation and autism in humans.
They then reversed symptoms of the condition by inhibiting the action of an enzyme in the brain. [..]
Researcher Dr Susumu Tonegawa stressed that the mice were not treated until a few weeks after symptoms of disease first appeared.
“This implies that future treatment may still be effective even after symptoms are already pronounced,” he said.’
‘A few hours after watching the shattered body of his girlfriend retrieved from The Gap in Sydney, Gordon Wood went to a morgue and asked to see her breasts, a court heard.
In a statement to police, former Glebe Morgue attendant Kenneth Nichols said he was alone on the afternoon of June 8, 1995, when Wood walked in, identified himself as Caroline Byrne’s boyfriend, and asked to see her body because “I want to see her titties”.
The statement is among thousands of interviews and documents that form the 12-volume brief against Wood, who has been charged with murdering the 24-year-old model by throwing her from the cliff at Watsons Bay in a fit of rage.’
‘A new Australian ad campaign is seeking to reduce road deaths by questioning the manhood of speeding drivers.
The series of TV ads shows women shaking their little finger – a gesture used to symbolise a small penis – as speeding male motorists race past.
The campaign aims to make speeding socially unacceptable among young drivers, reports the BBC.
The “Speeding. No-one Thinks Big of You” campaign will run on TV, in cinemas, at bus shelters and online.’
Look at it for a while. Look at the foot in particular.
Updates are going to be a bit scarce for the rest of the month. I’ve managed to exceed my home download quota way too early in the month, so finding good news and web sites is a bit tricky at the moment.
Tho, I mean tricky in the sense that I’m capped to 64kbps and can’t be fucked sitting around all day and waiting for web pages to load. :)
I’ll see how it goes an try to make a few posts. Otherwise, I expect things will be back to normal as soon as July arrives.
In the mean time, if you’re bored, check out some of the archives. There’s whole bunches of hilarity and amusion around the site. :)
I may have posted this video before, but never with the narration. :)
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see it here »
Another one of those cool Tower Defence type games.
‘Almost everything we think we know about the Bible and sex is wrong.
Instead of being a list of sexual shalt-nots, the Bible contains so much graphic eroticism that parents may want to keep the sacred text away from youth under age 18.
Indeed, that’s what 2,000 Hong Kong residents tried to do in May when they called on a Chinese decency commission to restrict the Bible to adults only because it contains passages that seem to give the okay to incest, rape, adultery and a father offering his daughters to strangers for sexual gratification.’
‘Toucan Sam’s Froot Loop-hawking days on Saturday morning TV may be numbered.
The Kellogg Co. said Wednesday that it would phase out advertising its products to children younger than 12 unless the foods meet specific nutrition guidelines for calories, sugar, fat and sodium.
Kellogg also announced that it would stop using licensed characters or branded toys to promote foods unless the products meet the nutrition guidelines.
The voluntary changes, which will be put in place over the next year and a half, will apply to about half the products Kellogg markets to children worldwide, including Froot Loops and Apple Jacks cereals and Pop-Tarts.’
This is some strange festival involving giant wooden penises, possibly in Japan or China.
(3.6meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Playing videogames is a great workout for your eyes. In a recent study at the University of Toronto, videogame players consistently beat nongamers in timed searches for targets in both simple and complex visual environments (spotting the b in a field of ks, for example). The scientists say that videogames—which reward rapid searches for hidden targets—boost quick, efficient eye movement and improve scanning skills that can enhance your reading and driving. You can’t find exercise like that at the gym.’
‘A proposed pro-marijuana conference to be held in the US-administered Northern Mariana Islands has led to a bizarre row among local legislators.
Opponents of the conference of Californian-based activists advocating that marijuana should be legalised have suggested the territory should be renamed the Northern Marijuana Islands.
But the cash-strapped government says the conference would be a boon for the sagging tourism industry.
“We welcome anybody who wants to hold a conference here, whether it be to discuss marijuana or not,” government spokesman Charles Reyes said Thursday.’
‘Two-year-old Freeman, a rare Catahoula leopard dog with boundless energy, might very well be the reason his owner Darcy Ingram is alive today. [..]
In December 2005, at just six months old, Freeman sniffed out what Ingram’s doctors assured her was not there: a cancerous tumour in her right breast.
“He kept hurting me and hurting me,” said Ingram, a picture of health today. “He wouldn’t leave that breast alone.” One day, Freeman’s powerful snout knocked Ingram’s breast: “It swelled up like a cantaloupe. That’s when all the fun started.”‘
Apparently it causes muscle spasming as well as hilarious vulgarity.
(13.2meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Americans are less happy today than they were 30 years ago thanks to longer working hours and a deterioration in the quality of their relationships with friends and neighbors, according to an Italian study.
Researchers presenting their work at a conference on “policies for happiness” at Italy’s Siena University honed in on two major forces that boost happiness– higher income and better social relationships — and put a dollar value on them.
Based on that, they concluded a person with no friends or social relations with neighbors would have to earn $320,000 more each year than someone who did to enjoy the same level of happiness.’
‘A Gary man claiming to be God wanted his slippers — right now.
Instead, he was arrested at a Merrillville Payless Shoes store.
Police filed two counts of attempted robbery, two counts of criminal confinement and intimidation charges against Richard Brewer Jr., Detective Jeff Rice said.
Brewer, 50, entered the store on Broadway about 1 p.m. Thursday, and asked two employees for socks and slippers. The employees gave Brewer the socks he was looking for, Rice said, and told him they didn’t have the slippers.
Rice said Brewer then moved closer to the employees and told them he was God.
“He said ‘When God speaks to you you’re supposed to give him everything,'” Rice said.’
‘What are the last true outposts on our planet? In an era when humanity seems to have subjugated the whole world, are there any places left untouched by human influence?
To find out, New Scientist set out to discover the Last Places on Earth. Pleasingly, there were plenty to choose from: unclimbed mountains, unexplored caves, unmapped deserts, tribes untouched by the outside world and islands where alien species have yet to invade. We also discovered the last place dinosaurs roamed, the last place to make radio contact with the rest of the world, the very last place that will survive when our sun expands – and many more. So join us on our grand tour of the planet’s most unknown, pristine or downright extraordinary locations…’
Also with explosions.
This poor girl is scared out of her mind. :)
(7.8meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘A female pit bull living at a Long Island animal shelter needs donations of Viagra to stay alive, according to a spokesperson of the Little Shelter Animal Adoption Center.
Ingrid, 4, was rescued in April after being near death from heartworms, according to Marge Stein, a spokesperson for the shelter.
The shelter sought a vet who suggested giving Viagra a try to keep the dog’s blood vessels open.
“We were really worried she wouldn’t make it,” Stein said during a phone interview with WNBC.com. “There was such a turnaround after or week or so of the Viagra; she just became a new dog. She perked up and was lively, just like any other dog.”‘
‘Four dead dolphins have washed ashore with fatal bullet wounds and fifth with lacerations on its pectoral fin, said authorities who have offered a reward for information on the slayings.
The long-beaked common dolphins were all discovered between Carlsbad State Beach and Oceanside Harbor between May 29 and June 5. Photos showed their normally sleek gray skin mottled and stained with blood from the bullet wounds.
“It’s a horrendous thing that happened,” said Mark Oswell, spokesman for the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration. “That someone would go out there and shoot four dolphins.”‘
‘A supersonic scramjet engine has been successfully launched from a test range in Australia. The Australian Defence Science and Technology Organisation (DSTO) said the scramjet achieved reached 10 times the speed of sound during the test.
Scramjets are supersonic combustion engines that use oxygen from the atmosphere to burn onboard fuel. By contrast, conventional rockets carry their own oxygen to burn fuel. The hope is that scramjets can be made lighter and faster than oxygen-carrying rockets.
But mixing oxygen with a fuel in a supersonic airflow and then igniting it is tricky. The tests involved accelerating the scramjet to several times the speed of sound and switching it on.’
