The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army
‘7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [..]
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. [..]
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. [..]
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. [..]
45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. [..]
60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. [..]
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” [..]
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [..]’
