`Remember that you are the pilot and your body is the aircraft. By tilting forward and putting your hands at your side, you can modify your pitch and make progress not just vertically but horizontally as well. As you go down 15,000 feet, you can also go sideways two-thirds of that distance—that’s two miles! Choose your landing zone. You be the boss.’
Archive for December, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
`Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.’
`Police have charged a man with filing a false police report after he claimed someone tried to carve a slur on his forehead.
There was one little problem with 22-year-old Floyd Elliot’s story: The superficial wound was backward, as if it were made while looking into a mirror.’
`This little dragon appears to be looking at you. But if you rotate the base this way or that the dragon’s head appears to turn the other way…
Or if you stand the dragon on a shelf and walk about, the dragon’s head follows you around the room. And yet it is simply a sheet of paper, cut and folded in a certain way. How does it work?’
With video and plans.
Linday Lohan .. she got some big ass titties..
Mariah Carey .. she got some big ass titties..
Safe for work if you have headphones.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Santa Santa Santa Santa Santa
Santa Santa Santa Santa Santa
Saturday, December 25, 2004
`Police are looking for two women they say sexually assaulted a man with a pair of cooking tongs in a drug-related attack.
Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his body.
The victim, who police say was using cocaine at the time, told police he does not remember much of what happened.’
`[..] workers at the global broadcaster’s offices in Birmingham in central England had been issued with a memo advising them on how to get through a revolving door.
The newspaper reports an email sent to 800 staff, complete with matchstick man diagrams for ease of understanding, comes after one worker trapped her foot in the new doors at the BBC’s offices in Britain’s second city, cracking a toenail.’
The old classic has returned..
Not even slightly safe for work. Possibly not safe for anywhere.
Check out this aswell.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
‘More than 2,000 new and revised word entries have been added to the online edition of The Oxford English Dictionary and a small contingent of them come from the P. Diddy and Eminem arena.
For example, the word “benjamin,” meaning “a one-hundred dollar bill” and more generally, “large sums of money” made its way onto the list.
Other hip-hop words that were added:
– “Hoochie,” which means “a young woman who is promiscuous or who dresses or behaves in a sexually provocative or overtly seductive manner.”
– “Thugged out” is defined as “resembling a thug in dress or behavior, tough-looking.”
– And finally, the dictionary editors have added “crack ho,” which is defined as “a prostitute addicted to crack cocaine.”‘
`San Diego police were called to a McDonald’s in Hillcrest after reports that a 300-pound man had stolen some soda and threatened some of the workers.
Police arrived at the restaurant in the 1400 block of University Avenue a little before 7 p.m. Officers tried to talk the suspect into leaving the McDonalds, but he refused, so an attempt was made to handcuff the man, who is in his 50s.’
`Near the end of her short life, Shayla Stewart, a diagnosed manic-depressive and schizophrenic, assaulted police officers and was arrested for attacking a fellow customer at a Denton Wal-Mart where she had a prescription for anti-psychotic medication.
Given all those signs, her parents say, another Wal-Mart just seven miles away should have never sold her the shotgun she used to kill herself at age 24 in 2003.’
`Bukowski and his mother, Janine Olszewski, filed a summons and complaint Monday in Circuit Court Branch 1 of Portage County against the Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association for refusing to let Bukowski compete with the girls. [..]
“This discrimination on account of (Bukowski’s) sex is in violation of … education amendments. … which prohibits discrimination based upon sex in extracurricular activities at public schools,” according to the complaint filed at the county courthouse.’
`Sybil Arum’s eighth-grade granddaughter came home this week worried that she was on the verge of being drafted by the military and sent off to war.
The reason for her fear was the Department of Education’s annual privacy notice, which says contact information for secondary students as young as sixth-graders may be released to military recruiters unless the student, parent or legal guardian requests otherwise.
Arum, who is the child’s guardian, quickly determined that her granddaughter was not being shipped off to Iraq, but became alarmed anyway.
“I’m very upset with the age level that this policy encompasses,” she said.’
`The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to pen the world’s most atrocious first line to a novel. [..] An example from the 2000 contest, singled out by the contest organizer as an especially strong contender:
Gwendolyn, a world-class mountaineer, summoned the last of her strength for one more heroic haul on the nylon strap (for she was, after so many failed attempts, dangerously close to exhaustion) and looked heavenward with resolve, aware that, in spite of her fatigue and anguish, she must breach the crevice in one well-coordinated movement, somehow cleave the smooth fissure with the flimsy synthetic strand even though she was chaffed raw by her repeated efforts, or more sensibly, just give the heave-ho to this new-fangled (and painfully small) Victoria’s Secret thong and slip into her well-worn — and infinitely more roomy — knickers.’
the painted works of kathie olivas
`Ben Nicholson, an apprentice engineer was told to order a water tank, but he went ahead and purchased a three million pound Challenger battle tank instead.
Ben, 24, was very scared after he realised his mistake and feared that he might lose his job.’
`The Hidden Door Company has been successfully manufacturing doors ever since with extremely pleased clients in every state! The idea is simple: we can replace any swing-style door opening with a fully functional bookcase, or anything else that you can come up with! Each door is custom made to your specific desires and specifications with precision craftsmanship that makes us proud to put our name on!
Let us handle your concealment needs for your home or office today!’
`An 82-year-old Chinese Nobel physicist plans to marry a 28-year-old graduate student, whom he has described as his “last gift” from God. [..]
Mr Yang went to study in the US in 1945. He shared the 1957 Nobel Prize in Physics with his friend and colleague Tsung-dao Lee for their joint work on so-called parity laws which led to important discoveries regarding elementary particles.’
`Imagine steaming hot porn, so gooey delicious you can’t get enough. Makes your mouth water, right? Well, you too can create sexy baked goods like these. [..]
Follow our step-by-step recipes to bake your own porn creations, whether you want to chow down on a penis pretzel or lick your way into a vagina danish, we’ve got you covered.
And, remember, yeast is cheaper than Viagra.’
`The four victims wondered if the girl they were told they were having sex with for three years was, in fact, Stephen Hill. [..]
Stephen Hill was inviting them over to have sex with a 20-year old girl named Dawn. But instead of a woman, the teens began to think they were actually having sex with Hill. [..]
“We got blindfolded, [one of the boys] said, and we could never see him at all and we never could touch her supposedly, Dawn. Her name was Dawn — we could never touch her at all, not in the girl spots.”
One of the boys says once he looked underneath the blindfold.
“I lifted the shirt up a little bit over my eyes and when I stood up I looked down and I saw a man’s —–.”‘
Use headphones if you’re at work, maybe.
`One driver wrote that his budgie was ill and he was rushing to the vet when he was caught on camera.
Another claimed an ice-scraper fell out of a compartment in the door and jammed under the pedal.
A third said he had picked up a hitchhiker who said they liked his car so he had let him driver the car ( he did not have the hitchhiker’s name or address).’
`A lolly-giving exercise by a Santa Claus in southern France turned sour when a group of greedy teenagers kicked him to the ground and beat him up for not handing over his sack of goodies, police said today. [..]
Officers said Father Christmas suffered bruising and had lodged a criminal complaint.’
`Every year, thousands of news stories get overlooked, lost in the welter of major international events. [..]
SLUNJ, Croatia: A Roman Catholic priest beat up a member of his parish, threatened others with a rifle and crashed his car in a night of drunken rage after a quarrel in a restaurant [..]
GUWAHATI, India: An army officer was dismissed and another suspended after a court martial found they splashed tomato ketchup on civilians to make them look like dead Assam separatist rebels in a bid for a gallantry medal. [..]‘
`A document released for the first time today by the American Civil Liberties Union suggests that President Bush issued an Executive Order authorizing the use of inhumane interrogation methods against detainees in Iraq. [..]
The two-page e-mail that references an Executive Order states that the President directly authorized interrogation techniques including sleep deprivation, stress positions, the use of military dogs, and “sensory deprivation through the use of hoods, etc.”‘
The actual documents are here, if you could be bothered reading them.
`Chicago police and private security guards were called out Sunday morning when a melee broke out at the New City YMCA on the city’s North Side.
The disturbance began when parents escorting their children to a youth swim meet encountered participants in a cross-dressing and transgendered fashion show that had been going on since before midnight.’