Archive for June, 2009

guidelines

Saturday, June 27, 2009

 

Jury acquits in quantum physics assault

‘A homeless man was acquitted of charges that he smacked a fellow transient in the face with a skateboard as the victim was engaged in a conversation about quantum physics in South San Francisco, authorities said Friday. [..]

Shortly before the incident, Fava was chatting with an acquaintance, who is also homeless, about “quantum physics and the splitting of atoms,” according to prosecutors.

Authorities had said Keller joined in the conversation and, for reasons unknown, got upset. He was accused of picking up his skateboard and hitting Fava in the face with it, splitting his lip. Fava then fell and broke his ankle.

Deputy District Attorney Sharon Cho said the jury that acquitted Keller of assault and battery charges couldn’t sort out the conflicting statements of prosecution witnesses.’


Stoned wallabies make crop circles

‘Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around “as high as a kite”, a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops. [..]

Rick Rockliff, a spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.

“There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles,” he added.’


copyright

Actor needed for emotional role – One day high pay

‘My deceased aunt gave my two kids a Cocker Spaniel a few months back. The dog has been a terror and become overwhelming for me. I am a single father raising two young children. I cannot face telling the kids that the dog must go. I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain.

Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her. At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash. The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off. At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their girls.

Pay will be $500. The job will take roughly 2 hours at best.

This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry. Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.’


faq

Saturday, June 20, 2009

 

20 Ton Air Conditioner

(1.1meg Flash video)

see it here »


terms

Russian woman on trial for raping 10 men

‘A young Russian woman, a devoted collector of horror films and spiders, is on trial for sedating and raping ten men. [..]

She gave them drinks with clonidine, which almost immediately sent them to sleep for almost 24 hours.

After that, she undressed her victims and raped them, tightening a rope on their male organs to kep them erect. [..]

At present, the police know about ten of Valeria’s victims, although one of them refused to file a complaint against her.

“It was great,” the unnamed man said.

“I like hot women. I only wish she hadn’t use the clonidine on me.”’


Officer wrote ‘kitchen bitch’ on ticket

‘A highway patrol officer will be reprimanded after he admitted writing “kitchen bitch” as the occupation of a Greymouth teenager on an infringement ticket he issued her. [..]

Ms Butters said that when she was stopped just after 3pm, the officer asked what her occupation was.

“I told him I was a kitchen hand and part-time chef. I never said I was a ‘kitchen bitch’.”

Tasman police district Superintendent Gary Knowles said yesterday he was treating the matter seriously.

“In fact, I have already spoken to the officer concerned, from Nelson, and he has admitted writing the words ‘kitchen bitch’ on the ticket, but according to him that is what she told him.”‘


tools

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

 

Unusual Duet

Crikey.

(3.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

 

Now…Go Break The Windows

‘A telephone prankster posing as a sprinkler company employee caused havoc Saturday morning at an Arkansas Holiday Inn when he convinced an employee to set off the hotel’s fire alarm, smash windows, shut down electricity, and break a sprinkler head that flooded the building lobby. [..]

The man told Bergmann that there was a problem with the hotel’s fire sprinklers and that she “needed to pull the fire alarm to reset them,” cops reported. “Bergmann proceeded to pull the fire alarm at this point, causing the audible alarm.” Bergmann, aided by a hotel guest, would subsequently follow a series of directions from the caller that would result in about $50,000 in damages to the hotel’s windows, carpets and electrical system.’


research

Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind with the Sims 3

‘Every scientist dreams of a world without ethics. Whenever a scientist sees a set of twins, he or she secretly wonders what would happen if you surgically swapped their faces. They already have a chamber set up to harness the power of their screams as they gradually realize what has happened. Every day, ethics barely prevent experiments like this from being carried out.

But what if we didn’t have these ethics? When Nazi doctors were let loose during WWII, the incredible rate of their discoveries were matched only by the inadequacy of words to atone for them. They might have been monsters, but without them, we never would have discovered the yield elasticity of the elderly, or learned what part of a prisoner’s tongue detects the taste of angel meat.

The Sims 3 is computer game based on these Nazi scientists that offers us a world of moral ambiguity, free to perform psychological experiments away from the leering eye of ethics. Which is exactly what I did. Here are the results of my findings.’


feed

Sunday, June 14, 2009

 

Crazy Man Gets Tazered By Police, Makes Escape

(6.6meg Flash video)

see it here »