Archive for November, 2004

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Monday, November 22, 2004

 

Police nab drug dealer by SMS

`When Anthony Crown texted a methamphetamine offer, he did not know his client was sitting in a Wellington police station having just been arrested for burglary.

Police replied to the text and arranged a drop-off point where Crown was arrested.

A check of his phone log showed three other drug offers made by text messaging and even while in a police cell his phone was receiving messages from potential buyers.’


Microsoft warns Asian governments of Linux suits

`Microsoft Corp. warned Asian governments on Thursday they could face patent lawsuits for using the Linux operating system instead of its Windows software. [..]

Linux violates more than 228 patents, according to a recent report from a research group, Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer said at the company’s Asian Government Leaders Forum in Singapore.’


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Top Secret Black Triangles

`Eyewitnesses all over the country are reporting glimpses of something large, dark and mysterious in the skies above big cities and busy highways. The crafts are often described as triangular in shape, silent in their movements, and of unknown origin, and they’ve been seen here in southern Nevada. It looks like these mystery craft might be a secret military project, but if so, why are they flying around in the open?’


Six-year-old accused of harassment

`The Queensland Government has ordered an investigation into why a six-year-old boy was suspended from school after being accused of sexual harassment.

The Year 1 student was sent home this week after he poked a female classmate on the bottom.’


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Man cuts off thieving teens’ penises

`Thai house painter cut off the penises of two teenagers with a knife after he found out they had stolen 50,000 baht (676 pounds) of his savings from an ATM machine, police say.

Manit Srithammathan, 40, told police the teenagers, now in hospital, deserved the punishment as they had betrayed his kindness in letting them stay at his Bangkok suburban house, they said on Saturday.’


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A Losers Guide To Being Single

`There is a certain pivotal point in every nerd’s life when he realises that any efforts to run with a popular clique are futile, and so instead he settles into a comfortable state of nerdism and all it entails.’


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Rapper Hit On Napper In Crapper

`Eminem was stunned when a huge minder knocked a wall onto him while he was on the toilet.

The rap star was in the bath room backstage at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Rome when his bodyguard squeezed into the cubicle next to him.

But the bouncer was so enormous, he knocked down the partition wall – which collapsed on top of the 32-year-old rapper.’


Cooking With Cum

‘Come and join us in exploring the culinary value of semen! Share recipes, try new things and have fun! We have 279 registered users on the forum and we hope that you will join too! The site is open to everyone and free to use – it only takes a few seconds to register. So go ahead, shake off any inhibitions and join us in the excitement of Cooking With Cum!’


Blair’s No10 sex invite

`Hundreds of experts were stunned to open an email from Tony Blair — and find hardcore PORN.

Instead of a message from 10 Downing Street, the top academics and scientists got graphically illustrated invitations to take part in “raw and live” sex.

The emails have now been halted, but many officials still want an apology.’


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Police ‘secretly taking DNA samples’

`Police are secretly taking the DNA of innocent Victorians from genetic material left on coffee cups, cigarettes and clothing, the Herald Sun newspaper reports. [..]

The newspaper claimed that when it asked for details of covert DNA sampling under Freedom of Information laws, Victoria Police said it kept no records of how many samples were taken each year.’


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Stray house on the highway

`There’s no indication who owns the upper half of a home left in a ditch about a month ago.’

with picture.


Whack Your Boss


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Aussies are fatter than Americans

‘The average Australian woman is a size 16 and weighs 8kg heavier than her American counterpart, according to authoritive new international research.

Australian men are also 3kg heavier than American males, the joint study by the University of Adelaide and US researchers shows.’


Anal Massage from Target

`free shipping when you spend $30′


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How To Steal Wi-Fi

`And how to keep the neighbors from stealing yours.’


Churchgoing may cause cancer

`Churchgoing may be good for the soul but it could also be dangerous for the lungs, according to a study in the specialist European Respiratory Journal. [..]

[Researchers] were astonished to find that, after the usual nine hours of candle-burning, church air had between 600-1000 microgrammes of fine particulate matter per cubic metre.

This is 20 times the European Union (EU) limits for average concentrations of indoor air, as measured over 24 hours.’


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Escalator malfunction leaves wheelchair user with fractured rib

`Officials at the Chiba branch of East Japan Railway Co. (JR East) said the escalator was equipped with a function whereby three of its steps flatten out to make a surface on which people in wheelchairs can ride.

A worker at JR Yawatajuku Station helped the man onto the escalator while it was stopped, but when the worker started it up again, the flat section turned back into steps, sending the man tumbling to the bottom of the escalator six meters below.’


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Microsoft Interview Questions

`The following are actual questions from actual interviews conducted by Microsoft employees on the main campus. Microsoft Consultants are sometimes allowed to have a life, so questions asked of them during interviews don’t really count and aren’t listed.’


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Mayor: ‘Stop pestering me for sex’

‘A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex. [..]

He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported. Mayor Anghel said: “The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.”‘


The Joy of Sexual Physics

`Top 10 Reasons Why Sex At The Speed Of Light Is Not An Advisable Form of Procreation [..]

9. Penile black hole formation [..]
7. Relativistic flaming semen’


Chile calls off Bush banquet after security dispute

`Plans for a state dinner for President Bush at Chile’s presidential palace were scratched Sunday after the United States insisted on security measures that Chile called unacceptable. [..]

For the Sunday event, the Secret Service insisted all guests — totaling more than 230 — pass through a metal detector, a top level Chilean Foreign Ministry official told CNN. U.S. officials did not dispute this account.’


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Saturday, November 20, 2004

 

Crazy french guy fucks with the police

I don’t know what he said, but the police don’t seem to like it.

(4.3meg wmv)


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The 2.5 gigapixel photo

‘TNO has produced the largest digital panoramic photo in the world. So, what do we mean by large? After all, modern consumer cameras can easily take a picture with 5 million pixels. Well, we are talking about a photo of completely different dimensions. One with 2.5 billion pixels – that’s 500 times more pixels. If this photo were printed, it would measure 6.67 m by 2.67 m (300 dpi). The photograph shows Delft and its surroundings in the autumn of 2004. It was taken the top of the Electrical Engineering faculty of Delft University, at a height of about 100 m, by TNO.’


Radio host calls Rice ‘Aunt Jemima’

‘A radio talk show host drew criticism Thursday after calling Condoleezza Rice an “Aunt Jemima” and saying she isn�t competent to be secretary of state. [..]

[the host], who is white, also referred to Powell as an “Uncle Tom” — a contemptuous term for a black whose behavior toward whites is regarded as fawning or servile. [..]

He said he was planning a giveaway on Friday’s show of Aunt Jemima pancake mix and syrup. “I will apologize to Aunt Jemima,” he said.’


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It’s All Fun And Games ..

.. until someone loses an eye.

Not all that safe for work. :)


Need A Bigger Crane?

This series of pictures is just hilarious. :)


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Pupils scared by asteroid spoof

`Pupils were left in tears after a teacher told them that an asteroid was about to hit Earth and kill them all. [..]

The head of year behind the assembly “stunt” later moved to reassure them.

He had told the year nine students that the asteroid was on a “collision course”.

It is also believed that the students were told that they should go home and say “final farewells” to their families.’


Man wearing bra, thong flashes girls

`Authorities say two young girls were walking to a coffee shop Friday when they were flashed by a man wearing a dark bathrobe. [..]

“It’s semi-weird, but I’ve seen weirder,” said Det. Al Nikitin of Halton regional police.’


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Thursday, November 18, 2004

 

Woman Kidnapped, Caught On Videotape

`A shopping mall security camera videotaped the apparent kidnapping of a woman who was chased through a parking structure by two men, grabbed and stuffed into the trunk of a car as shoppers seemed to notice but took no action. [..]

A handful of shoppers visible in the foreground of the scene appeared to turn their heads and watch the incident. In addition, several motorists drove through the scene.’

with video.


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Doctor Discovers the `Orgasmatron’

`While Meloy, an anesthesiologist and pain specialist in Winston-Salem, was putting an electrode into the spine of a female patient with chronic back pain, the woman reported a decrease in her pain and a delightful, but very unexpected, side effect. [..]

“When we turned on the power in this case, she let out a moan and began hyperventilating,” Meloy said on ABC News’ Good Morning America. “Of course we cut the power and I looked around the drapes and asked her what was going on. Once she caught her breath, she said ‘you’re gonna have to teach my husband how to do that!’”‘


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