Archive for April, 2005

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Friday, April 29, 2005

 

Poor Man’s WiFi

` Make 2.4GHz parabolic mesh dishes from cheap but sturdy Chinese cookware scoops & a USB WiFi adaptor ! The largest (300mm diam)shows 15-18dB gain (enough for a LOS range extension to 3-5km), costs ~US$5 & comes with a user friendly bamboo handle that suits WLAN fieldwork- if you can handle the curious stares!’


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DIY mp3 Player

`This is small MP3 player. It’s cheap and of excellent quality. An MMC has only seven pins and is currently the cheapest flash memory on the market! SD cards are now fully supported!

Powered by a single AAA (HR03) 1V2 Ni-Mh battery. Runs on a 18LF452 at 20 MhZ.

Up to 256 kBps bitrate at 44,1 kHz supported. VBR may peak at 320 kBps. ID3 v2.3 tags supported.’


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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

 

Fulfillment

If only the clock was a bit slower..


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Who Has A Small Penis?

Pictures are not safe for work.


Mom?

Not safe for work.

(1.1meg Quicktime)


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

 

Weapons Inspector Ends WMD Search in Iraq

`Wrapping up his investigation into Saddam Hussein’s purported arsenal, the CIA’s top weapons hunter in Iraq said his search for weapons of mass destruction “has been exhausted” without finding any.

Nor did he find any evidence that such weapons were shipped officially from Iraq to Syria to be hidden before the U.S. invasion, but he couldn’t rule out some unofficial transfer of limited WMD-related materials. [..]

“As matters now stand, the WMD investigation has gone as far as feasible,” wrote Charles Duelfer, head of the Iraq Survey Group, in an addendum to the report he issued last fall. “After more than 18 months, the WMD investigation and debriefing of the WMD-related detainees has been exhausted.”‘

Big suprise, eh?


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Headfuck

Definately not safe for work. Literally what the title says. You’ll see. :)

(1meg .wmv)


God is Great, by which I mean, Very Very Large

`I’ve been thinking about transubstantiation, the belief of many branches of Christianity that when you take communion, the bread and wine transform physically into the flesh and blood of Christ. According to the Catholic Church as late as 1965, this is literally true, not just symbolism: the flesh is present, the bread is gone.

So let’s run some numbers. [..]

So how big is Jesus?

If you conservatively assume that these are the End Times and that Jesus will soon be completely consumed (a detail that I do not believe is a part of mainstream Christian dogma), then he weighs twenty million times more than you, and contains ninety-two billion times as much blood. (20,282,528× and 92,000,000,000×).’


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Thursday, April 21, 2005

 

Tow Yard Complaint

(300k .mp3)

see it here »


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 

I want to go to the movies..

`..the movies is where I feel your boobies’

Safe for work if you have headphones. :)

(streaming shockwave)


Rectal Impaction Following Enema with Concrete Mix

`A 20-year-old man presented to the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. A well-nourished, well-developed man without signs of intoxication was admitted in no apparent distress. Digital examination of the rectum revealed a stony hard mass. Abdominal plain films showed a vertically oriented, low-lying radiopaque object in the rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass. A blood alcohol level was negative. No other drug testing was performed.

Upon further questioning, the patient said that approximately 4 hrs earlier he and his boyfriend had been “fooling around.” After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet against the wall at a 45-degree angle while his boyfriend poured the mixture through a funnel into his rectum. After the concrete mass hardened, it became so painful that he sought medical care.’


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Monday, April 18, 2005

 

Top 50 Ways To Get Fired

`41. The Elephant
Walk around the office with your pockets out and your cock dangling from your open zipper. When confronted, make an elephant noise and then chase them around screaming, “STAMPEDE” and laughing hysterically. [..]

29. The Skeptic
Anytime you are in a meeting, raise your hand and and ask your boss, “What makes you so smart?” or “How’d you figure that Einstein?” or “You come up with that all by yourself, champ?” [..]

24. The Birthday Dick
For your boss’ birthday get him a cake that reads, “Happy Birthday Dick.” Explain that it was a mix up at the bakery. Then write “Happy Birthday Dick” on his card.

If his name is actually Dick, get a cake that says, “Happy Birthday Vagina.”‘


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The Way Things Go

Pretty cool. Watch it until the end if you’re gonna watch it at all. :)

(1.5meg Quicktime)


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Non-Bias Attack

`Invoking the name “Martin Luther King” and screaming “Black Power!” a gang of up to 30 black teens attacked four white girls in Marine Park in what police are saying is not a bias crime. [..]

Witnesses say the attackers were all black and called their victims “white crackers” during the bloody melee, which raged for almost 20 minutes.

“This is not being looked at as a bias crime,” NYPD Deputy Inspector Kevin McGinn said at the meeting.’


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[quiz] Belief-O-Matic

`Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.’

This one has me as a secular humanist. Worst religions for me are roman catholicism, orthadox judaism and islam.


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Smile!

(1meg Shockwave)


Friday, April 15, 2005

 

Viewers rate blank screen

`After a mystery technical snarl sent Seven off the air, viewers remained staunch. And its 48 minutes of beige, blank, soundless screen was preferred over SBS and, at times, the ABC. [..]

SBS’s Dateline program tracking a volunteer doctor through the Congo had 105,000 fewer Melbourne viewers than Seven’s non-event. And the ABC’s acclaimed new comedy Nighty Night could have gone to bed early. It drew 35,000 fewer viewers than Seven’s ad, sound and vision-free offering.

Even at its lowest point, the blank screen had 88,000 fans – more than anything SBS ran all day.’


Man Sues Over X-Ray That Led To Cannibalism Allegation

`The Newark man who was mistakenly accused of cannibalism is suing a doctor and the Newark and Parsippany police departments.

Victor Salazar and his wife said they suffered embarrassment and needed counseling after an X-ray at Immediate Medical Care Center in Parsippany last year raised questions about his diet.

When a doctor asked if he had eaten any bones, Salazar forgot about the soup he had the day before that included pieces of chicken feet.

Radiologists and the Morris County medical examiner wondered if the film showed bits of finger bones, so police began an investigation.’


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Google Sightseeing

`Google Sightseeing takes you to the best tourist spots in the world via Google Maps’ satellite imagery.’


Sacfree

`* Above all, who works vocationally much in sitting, will appreciate the liberty of sacfree®
* sacfree® is offered in cheeky designs
* With sacfree® there is something more to see.
A new temptation for touching.’


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Thursday, April 14, 2005

 

Mom isn’t laughing at 911 dispatcher’s joke

‘A 911 dispatcher has apologized after responding to a mother’s plea for help with an unruly child by saying: “OK. Do you want us to come over to shoot her?”

The woman, identified only as Lori in Wednesday’s editions of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, said she recently phoned authorities after coming home to find her daughters fighting. She told the call-taker her 12-year-old, who had kicked a hole in the door, was out of control.’

I say shoot the mother for not being able to control her own kids.

Update: Now with audio of the 911 call.


Which religion is the right one for you?

‘You are… an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul. Instead of simply being “nonreligious,” atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God.’

I am also 67% satanist, 67% buddist and 50% pagan. Hooray for me. :)


Complaint Letter to Nissan

`I could elaborate on the complete frustration I feel from trying to keep the bus on the road safely. Suffice to say the bus driver now has a firm belief in the afterlife and we haven’t ruled out danger money for the position.

Please don’t get me wrong, I could handle the first 35 times of being fucked around, (the apologetic kiss from customer support was always welcome). Now that you’ve turned it into a bizarre form of sado-masochism complete with scratching and biting, I feel I have to complain…

I look forward to discussing every single frustrating event of the past 8 months with you.

I SINCERELY HOPE YOU CUNTS NEVER BUILD PLANES’


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Skate park told comply or close

`[..] designers left out a critical component: handicapped accessibility. And if town meeting fails to approve money to provide that accessibility, a state board will order the park closed. [..]

“I find this very disconcerting,” said board member Myra Berloff, director of the state Office on Disability.

“(The park) seems to be a lovely place. It’s a place where the community gathers. I understand that these are errors, but I am inclined to say that until it is open to everyone, it is open to no one.”‘


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Pretty (cool!) in pink

`In case you haven’t left the house or turned on MTV in the past 12 months, pink is hot for guys. And girls are hot for guys in pink. [..]

“Some boys are even buying girls’ shoes because they have pink accents,” [some shop owner] said. One reason for the red-hot trend is that pink’s a “clean” color, and many of today’s hottest artists — Kanye West, P. Diddy, Usher — are sporting cleaner, less sloppy, less baggy styles, DiMambro said.

But this color craze goes beyond clothes. Look around, and you’ll see guys jamming on pink iPods and cruising on pink skateboards.’


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The Rheem Man

‘The waters comin’ through me fucken ceiling, you fucken arseholes!’

see it here »


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Selling My Sexy Wife’s Stuff…

`I hate to do this but she has left me no choice. This is my first auction and I’m told by my friends that it will be a good one. Pay the listing fees and tell the world.

My wife is on another work trip…THIS TIME TO THE FRENCH QUARTER!!! Work? Yea right. While she is gone I want to make some changes…time to get rid of some stuff that is in my way. First thing out the door is a jewelry box full of who knows what. I don’t know what is in it but it will be boxed and shipped as is. Family heirlooms, gold, silver, diamonds, junk…who knows. What I do know is that it is going to be wearing a tracking number this time next week.’


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The Institute for Backup Trauma


Disposophobia

`The Fear of Getting Rid of Stuff..’


Guys Try Wrestling Move Off Roof

These guys are idiots. They hurt themselves and roll around screaming in pain.

I don’t know what else they expected to happen. :)

(900k .wmv)

see it here »


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