Archive for October, 2007

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

 

Untriseptium

‘Untriseptium (IPA: /ʌntrʌɪˈsɛptiəm/) is a chemical element which has not yet been observed to occur naturally or be synthesised. Its atomic number is 137 and symbol is Uts. [.]

In a non-relativistic approximation, the speed of an electron in a 1s electron orbital, v, can be obtained using the expression:

v = Zac = Zc / 137.036

where Z is the atomic number, and α is the fine structure constant, a measure of the strength of electromagnetic interactions. Under this approximation, any element with an atomic number of greater than 137 would require 1s electrons to be traveling faster than c, the speed of light.’


Halloween zombie mistaken for murder victim

‘Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.

The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said on Monday.

Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him. [..]

“Bad Segeberg is in a rural area and Halloween isn’t very well known there,” police spokeswoman Silke Tobies said. “So people weren’t expecting anyone to be dressed up in the train.”‘


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

 

Oh my god! There’s an axe in my head!

‘English: Oh my god! There’s an axe in my head.
Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete.
Visigothic: Meina guth, Ikgastaldan aqizi-wunds meina haubida
Swedish: Ah, Herregud! Jag har en yxa i huvudet!
Dutch: O, mijn God! Er zit een bijl in mijn hoofd.
Latin: Deus Meus! Securis in capite meo est. [..]’


service

Monday, October 29, 2007

 

The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army

‘7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [..]

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. [..]

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. [..]

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. [..]

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. [..]

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. [..]

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” [..]

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [..]’


handbook

Man allegedly found with inflatable doll in public restroom

‘A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down.

Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. [..]

McCullough’s criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress.’


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Sunday, October 28, 2007

 

Aliens caused Sicily fires, say officials

‘Aliens were responsible for a series of unexplained fires in fridges, TV’s and mobile phones in an Italian village, according to an Italian government report.

Canneto di Caronia, in northern Sicily, drew attention three years ago after residents reported everyday household objects bursting into flames. [..]

Locals were quick to blame supernatural forces and at the time the Vatican’s chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth backed up their fears and said: “I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers.”

Now in an interim leaked report published by several Italian newspapers it has emerged that the Civil Protection Department has concluded the most likely cause was “aliens”.’


podcast

Rumsfeld hit with torture lawsuit while visiting Paris

‘Former US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s jaunt to France was interrupted today by an unscheduled itinerary item — he was slapped with a criminal complaint charging him with torture.

Rumsfeld, in Paris for a discussion sponsored by the magazine Foreign Policy, was tracked down by representatives of a coalition of international human rights groups, who informed the architect of the US invasion of Iraq that they had submitted a torture suit against him in French court.

The filed documents allege that during his tenure, the former defense secretary “ordered and authorized” torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the US military’s detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.’


notice

Friday, October 26, 2007

 

weird inventions

I like the wedgie-proof underwear. People should wear things like that, it would be hilarious. 🙂


How To Respond To Pickup Lines

“Haven’t we met before?”
“Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”

“So what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a female impersonator.”

“I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”
“You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”


tools

tim kerslake’s fowtawgwaphy bwog

Tim likes to take photos, and now he has a blog to post them on. 🙂 There’s not a lot of images there at the moment, but it will become much more interesting as time progresses.

What’s the plan? Tim’s involved with Australian Formula 2 racing to some extent, and I’ve seen some quite cool pictures he’s taken in the past. There’s also likely to be some images taken at concerts as well.

He’s also developing his photographic skills as he goes, and posting as he improves and learns new techniques. This also includes things like equipment reviews.

I’ll be keeping an eye on it, and I’ll probably link him again as I come across particularly cool images. Fun. 🙂


Human race will ‘split into two different species’

‘The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection will mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises.’


Car Rolls Away At Petrol Pump

And he doesn’t even notice..?

(2.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


suggest

Thursday, October 25, 2007

 

Storm worm strikes back at security pros

‘The Storm worm is fighting back against security researchers that seek to destroy it and has them running scared, Interop New York show attendees heard Tuesday.

The worm can figure out which users are trying to probe its command-and-control servers, and it retaliates by launching DDoS attacks against them, shutting down their Internet access for days, says Josh Korman, host-protection architect for IBM/ISS, who led a session on network threats.

“As you try to investigate [Storm], it knows, and it punishes,” he says. “It fights back.”‘


Tattoo spells out Coca-Cola

‘A man who has proudly showed off his tattoo for 26 years was baffled to realise it actually spelt Coca-Cola.

Vince Mattingley had his name tattooed on his chest in Chinese writing after asking staff at his favourite restaurant to write his name in Chinese symbols.

But a waiter drew the Coke words – and Vince had it etched on his chest.

Vince only realised the mistake when he recently travelled to Thailand and a barman asked him why he had Coca-Cola written on his chest, reports The Sun.’


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

 

Home sweet someone else’s home

‘After a holiday you expect to find a few bills waiting for you – but not another person living in your house.

But that’s exactly what Beverly Mitchell from Douglasville in the US found after returning from 2-½ weeks in Greece. When she saw the lights on and a strange car in the driveway, she called the police. They found another woman, Beverly Valentine, in the house, the news website IOL reported.

Authorities say they don’t know why Valentine, 54, broke into the home and acted like it was her own, even going so far as ripping up carpet, changing utilities into her name and painting rooms.

“In 28 years I’ve never seen something this strange,” said Chief Sheriff’s Deputy Stan Copeland.’


service

Seafood orders own takeaway in escape bid

‘Police in the German city of Stuttgart have been called to round up an unusual group of runaways: crayfish.

The freshwater crustaceans, which resemble lobsters, escaped from an Asian restaurant and made a run, erm, scuttle for it.

The escape attempt was noticed by a pedestrian who notified authorities.

Apparently the crayfish had squeezed through gaps in the grating at the top of the tanks and scuttled out the front door.’


handbook

Blackwater Is Soaked

‘The colonel was furious. “Can you believe it? They actually drew their weapons on U.S. soldiers.” He was describing a 2006 car accident, in which an SUV full of Blackwater operatives had crashed into a U.S. ArmyHumvee on a street in Baghdad’s Green Zone. The colonel, who was involved in a follow-up investigation and spoke on the condition he not be named, said the Blackwater guards disarmed the U.S. Army soldiers and made them lie on the ground at gunpoint until they could disentangle the SUV. His account was confirmed by the head of another private security company. Asked to address this and other allegations in this story, Blackwater spokesperson Anne Tyrrell said, “This type of gossip has led to many soap operas in the press.”‘


rss

Cleaning an automatic door

(1.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


podcast

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

 

New Wheels On The Block

(9.7meg Flash video)

see it here »


notice

Man, 24, loses 82-year-old wife

‘An 82-year-old Argentine woman who attracted media attention last month when she married a 24-year-old man has died as a result of heart problems.

Adelfa Volpes was admitted to hospital soon after she and her new husband, Reinaldo Waveqche, returned from their honeymoon in Brazil.

She died in a sanatorium in Santa Fe, the city where the couple were married.’

Followup to Man, 24, weds 82-year-old bride.


Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne Hudson County Now

‘A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman’s car yesterday, police said today.

Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey’s car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.

Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.

“The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was,” Tony Millar said. “The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.’


tools

The Perry Bible Fellowship

A whole bunch of amusing comic strips.


Portishead

For its such a lovely day to have to always feel this way..

see it here »


Snog – The Human Germ

whatever direction you may turn..

(9.9meg Flash video)

see it here »


suggest

Sunday, October 21, 2007

 

Did software kill soldiers?

‘The National Defence Force is probing whether a software glitch led to an antiaircraft cannon malfunction that killed nine soldiers and seriously injured 14 others during a shooting exercise on Friday. [..]

Mangope told The Star that it “is assumed that there was a mechanical problem, which led to the accident. The gun, which was fully loaded, did not fire as it normally should have,” he said. “It appears as though the gun, which is computerised, jammed before there was some sort of explosion, and then it opened fire uncontrollably, killing and injuring the soldiers.” [..]

During the shooting trials at Armscor’s Alkantpan shooting range, “I personally saw a gun go out of control several times,” Young says. “They made a temporary rig consisting of two steel poles on each side of the weapon, with a rope in between to keep the weapon from swinging. The weapon eventually knocked the polls down.”‘


Starting A Bon Fire With A Jet Engine

‘These guys build a huge stack of wood and then wheel in a large jet engine to start the fire. Amazing the power from a jet engine as the wood is engulfed in flames.’

(7.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


Saturday, October 20, 2007

 

Couple make burglar clean up at gunpoint

‘A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears.

“Tears just rolled down my face as I walked in and saw everything gone and piles of trash all over my home,” she said. [..]

“My husband Adrian caught the thief red-handed in our home,” she said. “And what is even crazier, the man even had my husband’s hat sitting right on his head.”

Adrian McKinnon held the suspect, 33-year-old Tajuan Bullock, at gunpoint and told him to sit on the floor until he decided what to do.

“We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabinets onto the floor,” Tiffany McKinnon said.’


service

The Mirror Prank

(14.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


handbook

Thursday, October 18, 2007

 

‘Twins drown in school toilet’

‘Shocked Grade 11 pupils watched as two girls allegedly helped a 19-year-old classmate deliver twins before attempting to flush the babies down the school toilet. [..]

The babies allegedly drowned instantly in the gushing toilet water but did not go down the drain.

A pupil who did not want to be named said the heavily pregnant girl walked out of class and headed for the toilets.

“Her friend followed. After a few minutes she came back in a hurry to call another girl in the classroom. My friend who is in the same class said they did not know what was happening but they could see something big was going on.

“She said about 20 minutes passed and then she decided to go and see for herself what was happening. She allegedly bumped into a teacher carrying a bundle wrapped in a cloth on her way from the toilets,” the pupil said.’


rss

The Vela Incident

‘On 22 September 1979, sometime around 3:00am local time, a US Atomic Energy Detection System satellite recorded a pattern of intense flashes in a remote portion of the Indian Ocean. Moments later an unusual, fast-moving ionospheric disturbance was detected by the Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico, and at about the same time a distant, muffled thud was overheard by the US Navy’s undersea Sound Surveillance System (SOSUS). Evidently something violent and explosive had transpired in the ocean off the southern tip of Africa.

Examination of the data gathered by satellite Vela 6911 strongly suggested that the cause of these disturbances was a nuclear device. The pattern of flashes exactly matched that of prior nuclear detections, and no other phenomenon was known to produce the same millisecond-scale signature. Unfortunately, US intelligence agencies were uncertain who was responsible for the detonation, and the US government was conspicuously reluctant to acknowledge it at all.’


podcast