Archive for January, 2005

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

 

Stripper’s sentence upheld

`The videotapes do not lie, the Nebraska Supreme Court said Friday in upholding an exotic dancer’s conviction and sentence for performing sex acts with a dog. The court unanimously rejected the appeal of Romona Anglemyer, a 32-year-old Lincoln woman who had worked at the now defunct Mataya’s Babydolls club.’


The Racquetball Trick

(341kB Windows media)

see it here »


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Dear Coca Cola

Letters to shops and food manufacturers. Amusing. :)


Saturday, January 29, 2005

 

Potman


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So you want to run Nitrous Huh?

`Luckily no one was in the garage when the bottle blew.’


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Auto Destruct

`Bob Rajic is a real guy with a real band called USS Rock’n’Roll. Aside from being a guy who has a crappy band doing a video for the song “warp factor love”, he also works at a parking lot and tries to pick up Klingon chicks at conventions. Was he involved in a hit-and-run? Does someone want Bob dead? Will Bill Shatner ever answer his phone? Is this is the strange tale of one man’s obsession?’

(8meg Quicktime)


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Student claims plow driver buried car on purpose

`Arms said he dumped the snow around her SUV but said it wasn’t his intention to bury the vehicle.

“I plowed it and threw the snow on the car,” Arms said. “If I wanted to bury her car, she wouldn’t have seen it. [..]

Hartford said she spent $40 on shovels to dig a path so her car could be towed out by a friend. She acknowledges it was illegal to park there overnight.

“But he should have had me towed,” she said, adding that she observed no “no parking” signs.’

So, she saw the signs but parked there anyway.. Clever. :)


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Redneck Roller Coaster

‘The guy who sent this in titled it a redneck roller coaster and we couldnt of titled it any better.’

(500k Windows media)

see it here »


Does It Stack Up as Art?

`It’s unclear how serious members of the Los Angeles Cultural Heritage Commission were back in 1978 when they designated Daniel Van Meter’s “Tower of Wooden Pallets” a historic monument.

Commission member Bob Winter later joked that “maybe we were drunk” when they recognized the 22-foot stack of crumbling, termite-infested Schlitz beer pallets. Winter called it “the funniest thing we ever did.”‘


‘Doris Day’ porno shock

`A devout Baptist couple spoke today of their disgust after they claimed they bought a classic musical DVD featuring Doris Day from their local supermarket, only to discover it was an Italian porn film.

Alan and Anne Leigh-Browne, from Wellington, Somerset, had been expecting to enjoy watching the Pajama Game, a romantic comedy featuring the 1950′s icon.

Instead the shocked pensioners said they were confronted by raunchy sex film – Tettone che Passione, which roughly translates as Breasts of Passion.’

They were so disgusted they had to watch the whole thing, it seems. :)


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5.25″ Self Destruct Button

I need things like this for my computer.

I can’t see how I’ve managed so long without one. :)


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Iran nears nuclear ‘point of no return’

`The Israeli defence minister, Shaul Mofaz, warned yesterday that Iran will reach “the point of no return” within the next 12 months in its covert attempt to secure a nuclear weapons capability.

Tehran denies pursuing a nuclear weapons programme.

Speaking in London before a meeting today with Tony Blair, Lieutenant General Mofaz said Iran was the main long-term threat to the world and stressed that it will not be permitted to build a nuclear bomb. “None of the western countries can live with Iran having a nuclear capability,” he told reporters.’

Nothing like a bit of hypocrisy. :)


PonyPlay akce na Orliku

I don’t know what the title means, and I probably don’t want to.

They look like they’re enjoying themselves tho. :)


William Shatner Interprets ‘Rocketman’

I’m not the man they think I am at home..
Oh no no no..
I’m a rock-et man.

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time..

Lalala. :)

(12.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


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18 Nurses Pregnant After Rest Home Viagra Party

`”It was supposed to be a morale booster — and now we’re out of business,” says Mary Stinson, a receptionist who lost her job when the owners of Merry Rest Retirement Home, in Los Angeles, announced they were shutting down under pressure from the State of California. [..]

Although there were plenty of elderly women the old guys could have lured into the sack, they went instead for curvy young nurses and aides, many of whom, it is reported, were drunk.

A spokesman for Merry Rest confirmed in a prepared statement that 18 employees are now pregnant and that DNA testing to match them with the fathers is now under way.’


Man peed way out of avalanche

`A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.’


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Not Anybody, But Russian Pilots, Can Mistake Cloud for Trespasser Plane

`”In the afternoon, the ground services said they had detected a violation of the Russian air border from Lithuania. A tentative examination showed it was a light plane”, the press service reported.

A SU-27 fighter led by Major Alexei Pletnev rose from a military airfield near Kaliningrad, it said.

“Our fighter approached the trespasser to make it land or leave the Russian air space”, the press service said. “A closer examination showed that there was a cloud instead of the light plane and it was coming from the territory of Lithuania”, noted not without humor the spokesman for the press service of the Baltic fleet.’


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Beer Thermometer


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Death threats over cash stash keep kids home from school

`[A] student found as much as $100,000 and handed it out to other children, prompting threats to the children and their families to get the money back. [..]

Easterling said the money, which has not been reported stolen, is likely drug money.

She said that it’s been hard to determine the exact amount found. She said that detectives say it was at least in the thousands, and may range from $30,000 up to $100,000. [..]

On Thursday, there was a strong police presence at the school for first-graders through sixth-graders after a lockdown went into place for a time the day before as rumors swirled about the money and threats of a drive-by shooting [..]‘


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Court OKs masturbation at home

`The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that masturbating at home is not an offence, even if the activity can be seen by peeking neighbours.

The case centred on whether a private space – Daryl Clark’s living room – became public because others could view it. The high court said No in a unanimous ruling Thursday. “The living room of his private home was not a place ‘to which the public (had) access as of right or by invitation, express or implied,’ ” Justice Morris Fish wrote, quoting the Criminal Code.’


Thai Elephant Orchestra

`This is, I believe, the first CD ever recorded of instrumental music featuring non-human players. It’s a project of the Thai Elephant Conservation Center, a government facility in which domestic elephants are making the transition from forest workers to interspecies ambassadors. In keeping with the center’s exploration of human-elephant interaction, a set of instruments were designed with the elephants’ particular dexterity and strength in mind. The resulting music is uniquely fascinating.’


Experts Agree: Al Qaeda Leader is Dead or Alive

`Perhaps journalists have figured out the ultimate way to become objective: cover all possible bases and consider every angle no matter how unlikely. Perhaps this is CNN’s new approach after cancelling shows like “Crossfire” where ‘experts’ constantly disagreed. It is nice to see all the ‘experts’ agree. CNN’s headline is true since being either dead or alive satisfies both possibilities of that boolean condition.’

with a screenshot.


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Police hunt poo protesters

`Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: “This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time.”‘


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Thursday, January 27, 2005

 

Why does everyone want to know about people with two cocks?

I’ve been wondering about this for a while. Ever since I linked to an article titled “How to Fuck With Two Cocks” a steady 5 to 10% of traffic to my site has originated from web searches for the phrase “biphallic”.

Now, I’d never even heard the word “biphallic” before I linked to that article, but it seems a good 5 to 10% of the people reading this post not only have heard the word but are actively seeking it out.

This has been going on for months. Seriously, I just don’t understand.

Is it a fetish of some sort? Do a lot of you have two cocks? Do you only have one cock and are looking for an upgrade?

Do you have three cocks and are looking for a downgrade?

Fuck only knows. If you got here by searching for two cocks, why don’t you add a comment to this post and tell me what you hoped to find..?

I really am curious.

Whilst I don’t deny that my own cock is a magnificent specimen, I’m sorry to say that I only have one of them. So I’m sorry if you are disappointed, and I’m sorry if you didn’t find a multi-phallic overfiend knocking down hospitals and killing nurses with penile-lazers in true hentai style [if that's what you were looking for]..

But, thanks for visiting anyways. :)

Update: I am still getting lots of traffic for “biphallic” searches. So I’ve decided I’m going to try and sell some dildos. :) Like this..

see it here »


Habib ‘tortured with prostitute’

‘Australian Guantanamo Bay detainee Mamdouh Habib was tied to the ground while a prostitute menstruated on him after he failed to co-operate with interrogators, his lawyer said yesterday.

Interrogators also told the Sydney man they had killed his family and superimposed animals’ heads on photos of his wife and children, Mr Habib’s lawyer Steven Hopper said yesterday.’

I wonder how many menstrating prostitutes the US Government keeps on its payroll. Because you never know when you’ll need one.

[shrug] Cunts.


Firemen free 30-stone drunk wedged in taxi

‘A man, who was understood to weigh around 30-stone and was believed to have been drunk, had fallen over in the vehicle and slipped between the driver’s seat and rear seat. He was wedged fast on the floor of the cab, where officers said he was being sick.

Paramedics and firefighters from nearby Whitehaven Fire Station were called out to help. A team of five firefighters took about half an hour to manhandle the man out of the vehicle.’


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Weiner heckled by his own mom

`Anthony Weiner got a public reminder yesterday that “Mother knows best.”

As the Democratic mayoral hopeful blasted Mayor Bloomberg’s educational policies yesterday, he was quietly corrected by his own mom. [..]

“You basically have one choice in school now in terms of a second language and that’s Spanish,” said Weiner (D-Queens, Brooklyn), a public school alum.

But his mom, Fran, a retired teacher whom he praised earlier, informed him that Latin is still taught in some schools.

After a back-and-forth, Weiner joked: “Please. I can’t be heckled by my own mother.”‘


Why cyclists wear black pants


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Man sees Jesus in clipboard

`Douglas Snead says he’s had this clipboard for many years. But only recently pulled it out of a closet and discovered the image.

The 74-year-old says many of his friends and even his nurse can see the face of Jesus in the details of the board.

He doesn’t know why its there but believes God is sending a message.’


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Man fires shots, breaks into senior complex

`A blind, terrified 29-year-old Pocket man who was mistakenly convinced he was being pursued by angry neighbors, broke into a senior housing community before dawn Saturday, screaming for help and shooting a gun at his imaginary pursuers.’


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