`I like to jam a pair of scissors into my crotch repeatedly. Is that wrong?
No, of course not! Although authority figures would deny it and, indeed, try to discourage such activity, a recent survey has shown that fully 95% of the world’s population does it on a regular basis! In fact, it’s probably those who DON’T do it that you should be worried about!
I jam a pair of scissors into my crotch every day. Do I need help?
Only if your aim is bad.’