Posts tagged as: penis

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

 

Who Is This Jerk-off?

‘Auto-finance specialist Nizameddine Hassan Chokr lives the life men crave. He works undercover missions for the FBI, belongs to a Middle Eastern family worth at least $6 billion and can fly fighter jets. By his own “cautious” estimation, the Costa Mesa man is well-educated, healthy and adored.

What’s more remarkable about Chokr is, for lack of a better word, his mojo. His presence can turn female strangers relentlessly horny. Bus stops, cheap hotel parking lots and fast-food restaurants are among the places women have demanded sex from him. He’s not even safe from lust in a donut shop.

Chokr acknowledges it’s not always his striking looks and intelligence that mesmerize women. He has a secret weapon, and when he’s wearing his tight 1992 Fashion Avenue suede pants, the opposite sex can’t resist him.

That is Chokr’s version of reality. Police, on the other hand, say the Beirut, Lebanon, native is one of Orange County’s serial public masturbators.’


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

 

Gilligan’s Long Island

‘Watch the teeth, Ginger!’


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Robbers stab man in penis

‘A diligent Harvard Square restaurant worker tied a tourniquet around his bloody penis and continued working for several hours after armed robbers stabbed him last week, police said.

The 45-year-old East Boston man told police he was stabbed by two black men in their 20’s outside Z Square restaurant at 14 JFK St. on July 2.

After the 3 a.m. attack, the victim — who noticed he was bleeding from the groin — ran back into the restaurant bathroom and tied a knot around his penis to stop the bleeding, police said. The victim then continued working until 5 a.m. that morning, police said. The victim finally called an ambulance after he rode the T back to his home in East Boston. A doctor at Boston Medical Center told police the victim suffered a three-inch cut to his penis.’


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

 

Is It Normal To Suck Your Own Dick?

‘hi…i want to know is it normal for teenage guys to bend over and try and suck themselves off, cos i trying it out last night and could just about put the tip in…i came in my mouth and am quite worried now cos i considered it quite a turn ON! i’m not gay but just love the fantasy of having my own cock in my mouth..!
what you reckon?
p.s. i have a sore back.’


Monday, July 9, 2007

 

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Birthday Mom


Saturday, July 7, 2007

 

Teatime Love Bite

Teatime Love Bite


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Concrete posts in Keizer raise controversy

‘The City of Keizer is taking heat for installing a group of cement posts designed to protect pedestrians from cars, but which some say is a phallic symbol.

A total of 52 of the posts were installed at a busy intersection in Keizer and they are getting a lot of second glances.

A number of residents have complained to the city that the posts resemble male genitalia.

“I can’t disagree with that,” said City Manager Chris Eppley. “They certainly did not turn out the way we anticipated.”‘

They just look like normal concrete bollards to me. I suggest that the whole City of Keizer is cock-crazy and they see what they want to see.


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‘Septic penises fell off’

‘Six more youths have lost their penises as a result of bungled circumcisions in the Eastern Cape.

Provincial health department spokesperson Sizwe Kupelo said 18 would-be initiates were admitted to hospital in Port St Johns last week and four had to have their septic penises amputated. [..]

Kupelo said the death toll in the current winter circumcision season in the province now stood at seven.

Five of the deaths were the direct results of circumcisions; one youth was murdered at a school and another died in a fire at a school in the East London area.’


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Condom testers wanted for new positions

‘An Australian manufacturer has called for applications for what it claims could be the world’s best job – condom tester.

Durex marketing manager Sam White said any Australian over the age of 18 could apply for one of 200 positions as a condom tester.

The position is not paid, but successful applicants will receive a free $60 selection of Durex products and will be required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products’ performance. [..]

“With this job on your CV, it really will be a chance to brag to your mates about the special skills you possess, not to mention that your new role will work wonders with the opposite sex,” he said.’


Tuesday, July 3, 2007

 

Box o’ Cocks

What happens when you fill a box with photos from gay pr0n magazines and a dildo, write “Free Puppies” on the outside, and then leave it on the street?

Funnily enough, people open the box curiously and then seem surprised.

(7.2meg Windows media)

see it here »


podcast

Sunday, July 1, 2007

 

John Stamos Drunk On Australian TV

‘John Stamos showed up drunk two days in a row while down in Australia promoting ER. After this interview with Kerri-Ann Kennerly Australia cancelled the rest of his interviews and sent him home.’

(7.6meg Windows media)

see it here »


research

Thursday, June 28, 2007

 

Aussie drivers hit below belt

‘A new Australian ad campaign is seeking to reduce road deaths by questioning the manhood of speeding drivers.

The series of TV ads shows women shaking their little finger – a gesture used to symbolise a small penis – as speeding male motorists race past.

The campaign aims to make speeding socially unacceptable among young drivers, reports the BBC.

The “Speeding. No-one Thinks Big of You” campaign will run on TV, in cinemas, at bus shelters and online.’


careers

Sunday, June 17, 2007

 

Giant Penis Festival

This is some strange festival involving giant wooden penises, possibly in Japan or China.

(3.6meg Flash video)

see it here »


Saturday, June 16, 2007

 

News Reporter Plays The Skin Flute

(1.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


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Thursday, June 14, 2007

 

Free Hugs in Second Life

(6.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


Wednesday, June 13, 2007

 

Flashing stranger on train was top judge

‘A woman today recalled her “shock and embarrassment” at being flashed on a crowded train by a man she later identified as a senior judge.

As she glanced down at the bottom of her newspaper she noticed the “very kind looking” gentleman had exposed himself.

The woman spotted the man on four separate occasions on the rush-hour trip from Raynes Park, south-west London, to Waterloo, and later identified him by video as Lord Justice Richards, one of Britain’s most senior judges.’


Friday, June 8, 2007

 

Researchers produce Viagra alternative from walnuts

‘Developed by a team of researchers at Universiti Malaya (UM) for the past two years, a tablet containing walnut extract has shown potential as a local alternative to Viagra.

One of the researchers, UM Faculty of Medicine Physiology Department lecturer Prof Dr Kim Kah Hwi, said that so far 40 volunteers had tried the tablet and responded positively.

On its efficacy, Prof Kim said the new pill was comparable to Viagra and he claimed that it was safer as well, although a person would have to consume about 3.3kg of walnuts for the same effect as one tablet. [..]

Prof Kim said the active ingredient was arginine, an amino acid that is absorbed into the body and converted into nitric oxide.

“This enlarges blood vessels and enhances blood flow to the penis,” he said, adding that the walnuts were sourced from China because they were cheaper there.’


Unfair: 10 years for consensual oral sex

‘Ten years in prison for receiving oral sex. That is Genarlow Wilson’s sentence.

When he was 17 years old and a high school senior, he received consensual oral sex from a 15-year-old, 10th-grade girl.

Everyone agreed, including the prosecutor and the girl herself, that she initiated the act.

It was all captured on video — the evidence used to convict him at trial. On the tape, police saw a 15-year-old perform oral sex on one partygoer, and after finishing with him, she turned and did the same to Wilson. Under Georgia law at the time, this was considered aggravated child molestation, a felony for teens less than three years apart to have oral sex. It carried with it a 10-year sentence, even though it was only a misdemeanor for those same teens to have sexual intercourse.’


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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

 

Man sues drink-maker over permanent erection

‘A New York man has sued the makers of a health drink, saying it has given him a permanent erection for the last two years.

Christopher Woods said he drank the vitamin-enriched Boost Plus, made by the Swiss-based Novartis pharmaceutical company, on June 5, 2004.

He woke up the next morning “with an erection that would not subside” and sought treatment of the condition, called severe priapism, court papers say.

Mr Woods, 29, had a penile implant to move blood from one area to another, acccording to the Associated Press.’


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Police looking for naked peeping Tom

‘Police are searching for a naked peeping Tom seen prowling in only a ski mask, but they say people don’t take him seriously enough to report him.

“Some people just think he is funny. You know, a guy running around in a ski mask and nothing else. People just think that’s funny,” Covington police Lt. Jack West said.

Police believe he’s the same man occasionally spotted doing the same thing last year, West said. This time, though, he reportedly made sexual comments — something he didn’t do during last year, police said.’


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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

 

Sarah Silverman Rips Apart Paris Hilton

This is a video from the MTV movie awards, with a comedian making fun of Paris Hilton whilst the whole audience laughs. Paris doesn’t look too happy.

(3.7meg Windows media)

see it here »


Monday, June 4, 2007

 

Knoxville in £5m penis mousetrap lawsuit

‘Jackass star Johnny Knoxville is being sued by for £5.3million by an actor who had his penis clamped in a mousetrap for a stunt.

Perry Caravello says he was severely injured when the trap crushed his manhood as he appeared on a radio talkshow with Knoxville.

He claims Knoxville promised to pay him £5million for agreeing to the prank.

Mr Caravello has filed legal documents in a US court alleging fraud and negligence. He says he was further humiliated when footage of the stunt was videotaped and posted on the Internet without his permission.’


podcast

Friday, June 1, 2007

 

World’s Craziest Tattoos

The tattoos on the face are a bit crazy. Others are kinda amusing. For example:

Cunt Puncher


research

Men fear too small penis size

‘Nearly half of all men are unhappy with the size of their willies — for no good reason, a study claims.

Researchers say there is no need to worry as 85 per cent of women ARE satisfied with their partner’s penis proportions.

The study found girth matters more than length to 90 per cent of women. The 60-year worldwide research — led by Dr Kevan Wylie of the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield — analysed 12,000 willies and quizzed 50,000 adults.

The average erect penis was 5.5ins to 6.2ins long (14cm-16cm) and 4.7ins to 5.1ins (12cm-13cm) in girth.’


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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

 

Pakistan sex change couple jailed

‘A Pakistani court has sent a couple to jail for three years on the grounds that they lied about the sex of the husband who is a transsexual.

The couple married last year, after the husband had undergone sex-change operations, but a medical team appointed by a high court in the city of Lahore found that the husband, Shumail Raj, 31, was a woman.

“There is sufficient evidence to establish that Shumail Raj is a woman,” Judge Khawaja Sharif said in his ruling.

He sentenced the couple to jail for three years and imposed a fine of 10,000 rupees ($166) each for perjury.’


Saturday, May 26, 2007

 

Hen turns into a cock

‘A chicken has gone through a rare, spontaneous sex change in eastern India, a veterinarian said Thursday.

The bird laid eggs six months ago – and some hatched – but it later began to grow a rooster’s comb, said Partha Sarathi Ghose, a veterinarian at West Bengal state’s Animal Husbandry Department, quoting the bird’s owner.

Earlier this week Ghose and a team of experts visited the village of Kamat-Chengrabanda where the incident occurred.

Ghose said the bird had undergone a process of natural sex change.

“Sure, it’s rare,” the veterinarian said, adding that owner Haziruddin Mohammad has called the incident a miracle and refused to hand over the bird to the Animal Husbandry Department.’

The penis and vagina tags are not technically accurate, but i’m not adding a cloaca tag just for this story. 🙂


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Caught In The Act

This might be a repost, but getting caught wanking in the 70’s is hilarious.

(1.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


Thursday, May 24, 2007

 

Make Your Own Sex Doll

‘Want a custom sex doll, but don’t have $7,000 to shell out? No problem. You can build one with off-the-shelf parts for a fraction of the cost. Is this the ideal love doll or Bride of Frankenstein? We’ll let you be the judge.’

Seems you start with a mannequin. 🙂


Video Shows Police Officer Demonstrating His Taser by Zapping Subject in the Genitals

‘It was just a little stun gun fun, but a police officer who demonstrated his Taser by zapping a willing subject in the genitals has drawn a warning from his bosses.

Officer Randy Reynolds ran into trouble when video of the incident last spring was posted on YouTube.com. The unidentified man wasn’t injured, and onlookers can be heard laughing in the background.

Interim Police Chief Larry Dickerson said Tuesday that Reynolds had been attending a social gathering, but was in uniform and on his way to work at the time. The man repeatedly asked Reynolds to use the weapon on him, and Reynolds eventually obliged – twice.’


Trannie MD was secret flasher

‘A company boss lived a double life as a cross-dresser who flashed at terrified women, a jury heard yesterday.

By day Michael Willshire was the respectable managing director of an aluminium tubing firm.

But at night he donned stockings and suspenders, wigs, high heels and dresses beneath an overcoat and exposed himself to females, it was said.

Unwed Willshire, 47, allegedly terrorised the seaside town of Swanage, Dorset, for a two-year period. [..]

Willshire was allegedly caught when another victim’s dad saw him fleeing and pinned him against his Audi TT car.

Police arrested him and found him wearing suspenders and white jazz dance shoes, it was said.’


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