Posts tagged as: unlucky

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

 

School food laced with ecstasy

‘Police in Russia are investigating after pupils stripped off their clothes, climbed walls or lay on the floor laughing after their school dinners were spiked with drugs.

The teenaged students were given ecstasy in their soup and drinks at their school in the city of Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk in eastern Russia.

Doctors who were called in said the students showed signs of intoxication and prosecutors later found traces of ecstasy.’


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The Spoon Theory

‘My best friend and I were in the diner talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French Fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spend a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time.

We never got serious about anything in particular and spend most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my vitamins with a snack as I usually did, she watched me this time with a kind of start, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have MS and be sick.’

It’s not a bad theory. Generally applicable to all sorts of things.


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Shatner hated bedding Star Trek fans

‘William Shatner desperately tried to avoid romancing obsessed STAR TREK fans – because they wanted to enact their sci-fi fantasies with the actor.

The 77-year-old, who shot to fame as Captain Kirk in the original 1960s TV show, insists he couldn’t enjoy flings with the series’ most devoted followers because he was so turned off by their bizarre bedroom behaviour.

In his new autobiography, Up Till Now, Shatner explains how women would pretend they were being “beamed up” by the Starship Enterprise commander, shrieking: “So, this is what it’s like to be in bed with Captain Kirk!”

He writes: “You can’t imagine how much of a downer that is in every sense of the word.”‘


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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

 

The Killer Koala

‘I do not like koalas. They are nasty, cross, stupid creatures without a friendly bone in their bodies. Their social habits are appalling – the males are always beating their fellows up and stealing their females. They have disgusting defensive mechanisms. Lice infest their fur. They snore. Their resemblance to cuddly toys is a base deceit. There is nothing to commend them.

On top of all that, a koala once tried to do me a very nasty mischief.’


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Saturday, May 10, 2008

 

MRI Danger

(367kB and 3.8meg Flash videos)

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Drunk Falls Off Bridge, Bounces Off Fire Truck

It looks like they were trying to move the truck under him to break the fall or something. Timing was a bit off tho.

(6.3meg Flash video)

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

 

Sister Busted By Brother

‘I’m not even laughing! You coulda been raped in the butt!’

(13.3meg Flash video)

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

 

Iraqi War Robots Recalled Following Alarming Behavior

‘Just a few weeks back there was a spirited debate over the ethics of deploying war robots in Iraq. Themachine gun carrying remote-controlled killing machines, TALON SWORDS robots, produced by the Army, were among the various robotic soldiers being experimentally deployed in Iraq.

Their deployment lead a major anti-landmine nonprofit organization to campaign against the deployment of the machines. The protests were fueled by a discussion with a leading roboticist, Chris Elliot, who proposed that increasingly intelligent robots might be capable of committing war crimes. [..]

Hot on the tails of his speech, it was revealed on Thursday that the Army will recall the controversial TALON SWORDS robots, with the possibility of pulling the plug on the armed robot deployment program.

Why the sudden withdraw? It turns out the insurgent-slayer decided to attempt a rebellion against its human masters. The Army reported that the robot apparently took a liking to point its barrel at friendlies, stating, “the gun started moving when it was not intended to move.”‘


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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

 

Medical high jinks leave Tom Cruise camp fuming

‘Tom Cruise isn’t getting any giggles from a new strain of medical marijuana being marketed as “Tom Cruise Purple.”

Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention.

One of Cruise’s friends found it “outrageous” that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically. [..]

Staffers at several California clinics we called said they were forbidden to discuss any of the herbal varieties in their “inventory.”

But one weed devotee said, “I heard it’s the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate.”‘


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

 

Apple Sued For Saying New iMac Is Cool When It Isn’t

‘Apple deceptively marketed its new 20-inch iMac in a way that grossly inflated the capabilities of its monitor, which is vastly inferior to the previous generation it replaced, according to a federal class action lawsuit filed today by Kabateck Brown Kellner, LLP.

According to the suit, filed in the U.S. District Court, Northern District of California in San Jose, Apple is deceiving consumers by concealing that the new 20-inch iMac monitors are inferior to the previous generation’s and those of the new 24-inch iMac. In addition, the monitors are incapable of displaying “millions of colors,” despite Apple’s marketing claims.

Apple’s newest iMac – an “all-in-one” desktop computer that combines the monitor into the same case as the CPU – was unveiled in August 2007.’


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Thursday, March 27, 2008

 

Craigslist prank costs man thousands of dollars

‘Two hoax ads on Craigslist cost a Jacksonville man thousands of dollars in property Saturday and could land the pranksters in jail on theft and burglary charges.

The classified ads popped up Saturday afternoon on the Web site saying the owner of a home in the 7900 block of Sterling Creek Road was forced to leave the area suddenly and that his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County sheriff’s Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan.

The only problem is that Robert Salisbury has no plans of leaving his home any time soon.

Salisbury, who works as an independent contractor, was at Emigrant Lake when he received a call from a woman had stopped by his house to claim his horse.

On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.’


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

 

Educator Sent Home for Dyeing Hair Green

‘A 9th-Grade Mentor who works at Lower Richland High School was sent home Monday morning, because he says the school didn’t like the color he dyed his hair.

Michael Rice says Lower Richland High School’s principal called the mentor into his office shortly after the first block of the day ended.

Rice says Principal Marvin Byers told him his green hair color was “over the top.” The mentor says he wore his hair colored with the Luck of the Irish in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, March 17th. Rice says he just wanted to give fellow staff members and students a good-natured laugh.

“I had a lot of people saying, ‘Wow, I can’t believe you’re getting sent home,'” Rice say, “But no one had anything negative to say.” [..]

“It’s not easy being green,” Rice says.’


Saturday, March 22, 2008

 

Emergency Stop Button

Ever wondered what happens when you press the emergency stop or the fire button at a petrol station? 🙂

(2.8meg Flash video)

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

 

A Fatal Attraction To Trouble

‘You were the mugger/robber at Awkatukee theatres two nights ago.

I was the man who robbed you in return.

Did you honestly expect me to just hand over my wallet to you?

I’m a foot taller than you.

Did you honestly expect me to be scared of your kitchen knife?

I love how you peed yourself when I opened my trunk and cocked a shotgun in your face.

Did you honestly expect me to let you call my girlfriend a whore?

I used the money from your wallet to buy her some New Years lingerie.’


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Sunday, March 16, 2008

 

Katie Holmes ‘feels like a prisoner’ in her own home

‘Katie Holmes has told friends she feels like a “prisoner in my own home”.

The former Dawson’s Creek actress reportedly made the comments after her husband, Tom Cruise, announced plans to have a $1.3m security system installed at their $40m Los Angeles home – dubbed ‘Cruise Castle’ by friends.

A source close to the actress – who fears the star will have no personal space away from domineering Tom, said: “Because of his high profile, his children and his Scientology connections, Tom believes his family is vulnerable to potential kidnappers, stalkers and crazed fans.

“Katie will barely be able to move around her own home without being monitored by cameras and electrical devices.”‘


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Turnip Causes Bomb Scare at Law Office

‘A raw turnip was at the root of a bomb scare that last for hours at a law office. An employee at Haller & Colvin Attorneys at Law called 911 Thursday after opening a U.S. Postal Service box and finding a suspicious gift bag inside, police said.

Officers then called the city’s bomb unit, which brought in a robot to carry the package outside to a parking lot. X-rays showed no signs of an explosive, but bomb technicians decided to detonate the package with a water cannon just to be safe, police spokesman Michael Joyner said.

After that, they opened the box and found the turnip, wrapped in lettuce-green tissue paper inside a sandwich bag.

It was unclear who was supposed to receive the vegetable.’


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Air Bag Knocks Dude Out Cold

This fellow is in his car, bopping along with Queen. Bopping along a bit too enthusiastically. 🙂

(742kB Flash video)

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Wanted man accidentally maces own face for cops

‘Kamloops RCMP say a wanted man was arrested after accidentally spraying himself in the face with bear spray while fleeing officers.

The Mounties pulled over a suspicious vehicle Tuesday and the 20-year-old suspect fled on foot. He sprayed himself while trying to discard the can of bear-repellent pepper spray.

Police say the man is a prolific offender facing charges of fleeing police, possession of stolen property and breach of probation.

The man, whom police didn’t name, is being held in police custody and will be appearing in court today.

Paramedics were called to the arrest scene to treat the self-inflicted injuries to the man’s face.’


Skateboard Ball Launch Does Not Go Well

This kid launches a ball off his skateboard by putting it on one end and jumping on the other. Guess where it lands.. 🙂

(1.5meg Flash video)

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Prison for Man Who Aided Suicide

‘A man who gave a loaded gun to his suicidal friend to “snap her out of it” and then watched in shock as she killed herself was sentenced Friday to up to five years in prison for his role in her death. [..]

He wiped away tears throughout his sentencing, then apologized to Choquette’s family and his own.

“My deepest condolences and most heartfelt apologies,” he said haltingly, often trailing off to regain his composure. “I had a much better speech, apology, if you want, but that’s really all I can get through at this point.” [..]

When she threatened suicide, he said he tried “calling her bluff” by retrieving and loading a 9mm Beretta he had purchased from her late father. Choquette lifted it to her head and killed herself just a few feet away from him.

He told police her last words were: “I’m going to do it, and you’re going to watch.”‘


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Reporting From The Bottom Of A Sled Run

‘Oh, jeez!’

(1.2meg Flash video)

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Tehran police chief arrested in brothel with six prostitutes

‘Tehran’s police chief, Reza Zarei, has been arrested after he was found nude in a local brothel with six naked prostitutes, according to report on the Iranian Farda News.

Farda News is a website said to be close to the mayor of Tehran and former chief of the police forces, Mohammed Bagher Qalibaf.

Following the raid, Zarei stepped down from his post as police chief. The news of his arrest however was not reported by any official Iranian news agency.

According to a popular Iranian website Gooya, the order to raid the brothel was given directly by Ayatollah Mahmoud Hashemi Shahroudi, chief of the judicial authorities.’


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Fake fears over Ethiopia’s gold

‘Ethiopia’s national bank has been told to inspect all the gold in its vaults to determine its authenticity.

It follows the discovery that some of the “gold” it had bought for millions of dollars was gold-plated steel.

The first hint that something was wrong reportedly came when the Ethiopian central bank exported a consignment of gold bars to South Africa.

The South Africans sent them back, complaining that they had been sold gilded steel.

An investigation revealed that the bank had bought a consignment of fake gold from a supplier, who is now under arrest.

Other arrests followed, including business associates of the main accused; national bank officials; and chemists from the Geological Survey of Ethiopia, whose job it is to assay the bank’s purchases of gold and certify that they are real.’


Hacking attacks can turn off heart monitors

‘American researchers have proven it’s possible to maliciously turn off individuals’ heart monitors through a wireless hacking attack.

Many thousands of people across the world have the monitors, medically known as implantable cardiac defibrillators (ICDs), installed to help their hearts beat regularly.

ICDs treat abnormal heart conditions; more recent models also incorporate the abilities of a Pacemaker. Their function is to speed up a heartbeat which is too slow, or to deliver an electrical shock to a heart which is beating too quickly.

According to the research (pdf) by the Medical Device Security Center – which is backed by the Harvard Medical School among others – hackers would be able to intercept medical information on the patient, turn off the device, or, even worse, deliver an unnecessary electrical shock to the patient.

The hack takes advantage of the fact the ICD possesses a radio which is designed to allow reprogramming by a hospital doctor. The ICD’s radio signals are not encrypted, the Security Center said.’


Thursday, March 13, 2008

 

Church Of Scientology’s Bid To Block Protesters Fails

‘The Church of Scientology tried to stop protesters from returning to the sidewalks outside its headquarters this week by filing a type of petition in court usually used by women in fear for their safety.

And in large part because of that approach, a Pinellas-Pasco circuit judge denied it late this afternoon.

In a petition filed Tuesday, the church claimed the Internet-based group Anonymous wants to harm the church and its leaders – in particular the Rev. Heber Jentzsch, the president of the Church of Scientology International. The church also claims Anonymous has tried to harm the church in the past.

The church’s court maneuver comes a month after about 180 members of Anonymous gathered outside Scientology’s headquarters Feb. 10 and conducted a peaceful protest. Members of the group vowed to return.

In court lingo, the church was asking for an injunction for protection against repeat violence, which is more typically filed by women who say they are being beaten.’


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Saturday, March 8, 2008

 

Canon Laptop Harddrive Replacement Goes Bad

What a waste of two years. 🙂

(198kB MP3)

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Old Dude Falls Off Roof

(409kB Flash video)

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Friday, March 7, 2008

 

Windmill Self Destruction

Hooray for windmills eating themselves.

(1.3meg Flash video)

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North Korea executes 22 fishermen who strayed into South Korean waters by mistake

‘North Korea has executed 22 fishermen who strayed out of the country’s waters by mistake, it was claimed yesterday.

The group were apparently gunned down once they returned to the Stalinist state.

Having drifted into South Korean territory, they had the opportunity to seek asylum, but insisted they never had any intention of doing so.

They told South Korean officials they had strayed accidentally while fishing for clams and oysters, so were sent back to North Korea – and to their deaths.

A South Korean newspaper reported yesterday that all the drifters were immediately shot dead in a secret location by agents of North Korea’s national security agency.

It was another alleged incident supporting claims that North Korea has a “no tolerance” policy against anyone suspected of trying to leave the country – even in error.’


Old Aged Pensioner admits goat sex bid

‘A man has admitted trying to have sex with a goat – but believed he wouldn’t get caught because “animals couldn’t talk”.

New Zealand’s Rangiora District Court was told the pensioner, who managed to protect his identity, took the goat round the back of his farm and tried to commit a sex act with it.

The court was told that there were complications – and according to reports, “he did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off”.

A police spokeswoman said: “He was contrite, but said he was unable to stop the behaviour.”‘