Posts tagged as: shit

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

 

Passed Out While Taking A Dump

‘Apparently this guy has a tendency to drink a lot then pass out while taking a dump. His roommates decide to tape his latest endeavor.’

(3.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

 

Smelly situation on Highlander Way

‘Livingston County police are looking for the person who dumped an estimated “couple hundred pounds” of human waste on Highlander Way near Highland Road (M-59) Tuesday morning. The smelly discovery was found at about 9:45 a.m. and closed the road for some time. It took Howell Area Fire Authority firefighters about 15 minutes to clean the mess.

Anyone with information on who dumped the sewage or septage is asked to call the Livingston County Sheriff’s Department at (517) 546-2440.’


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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

 

Train cancelled after conductor succumbs to diarrhea

‘About 300 passengers were forced to leave a train at JR Tsukaguchi Station in Amagasaki after the conductor suffered a violent bout of diarrhea in the driver’s cabin early on Friday, West Japan Railway Co. (JR West) said.

The evacuation took place after the conductor fell ill just before the train pulled in at Tsukaguchi Station. The driver scheduled to take over the train entered the cabin at about 6.15 a.m. to find the floor covered in feces.

Station workers immediately cleaned the floor of the driver’s room, but decided to cancel the train due to the lingering aroma.’


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Friday, August 31, 2007

 

Longtime enemy of bridges & statues, pigeons took toll on failed Minn. freeway span

‘A lightweight enemy could have helped speed up rusting on the collapsed Minneapolis bridge: pigeons.

Experts say corrosive pigeon droppings caked on the bridge could have made steel beams rust faster. Investigators still haven’t pinpointed what caused the collapse, and haven’t said whether the birds had a part in the disaster that killed at least 13 people.

But inspectors in a late 1980s report noted a “coating of pigeon dung” on the bridge. Pigeons have long been a structural pest, because their dung can eat through concrete.’

Followup to Divers suspend Minneapolis search.


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Thursday, August 16, 2007

 

German Toilets

‘Whenever folks who have lived or traveled in Germany gather for a beer, sooner or later one subject is sure to rear its ugly head: what is the deal with those toilets? [..]

We’ve had innumerable bad experiences with German toilets. In Berlin, we lived on an upper floor and the water pressure was too weak to push a healthy-sized log off the shelf. After a few minutes’ fruitless flushing you’d be forced to grab a wad of toilet paper and give the horrid thing an encouraging nudge. Then followed a lengthy bout of brushing and cleaning to remove the skid marks from the porcelain. At the other extreme, in Munich we lived in a basement suite where the water pressure was too high. Worse, the shelf was actually slightly concave, forming a shallow bowl. The first time I flushed the toilet the water came rushing through so forcefully that a small chunk of poo launched off the lip and shot out over the floor. After that we always held the lid down when we flushed. I swore you could feel a kick as the turd ricoched off the underside.’


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

 

Taser stuns faeces-smeared man

‘Police have used a stun gun to subdue a man who smeared himself with faeces and blood after being thrown out of a Gold Coast nightclub.

Officers were called after a security guard was assaulted by a man who had been evicted from the club in Orchid Avenue, Surfers Paradise, around 3.30am (AEST) today.

By the time officers arrived, the man had undressed himself and covered his entire body in faeces and blood, police said.’


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Sunday, August 12, 2007

 

Port-a-potty meeting prank

(3.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


Friday, August 10, 2007

 

No more crispy duck served at toilets

‘Food stalls attached to Beijing’s public toilets will be removed in good time for next year’s Olympics, state media said Saturday.

Complaints over toilets with poor sanitation and toilet operators turning them into commercial operations led to the ban, which comes into force in October.

“It is not proper to sell soft drinks or snacks right at the toilets,” the Beijing News said, citing sources within the Beijing Municipal Administration Commission.’


alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect

‘There’s a “new” over-the-counter drug available in the US that’s apparently flying off the shelves. It’s called alli (note the way trendy lower case!) and I use the term “new” loosely because it’s apparently a lower strength version of a prescription-only drug (Xenical) that’s been around for a while.

So what does this incredibly popular wonder drug do? Well, not to go all Bill Clinton on you, but it depends on what your definition of “do” is. You see, there’s (1)what the drug company markets it as, (2)the medical description of what it does and (3)the biggest effect you’re actually going to notice.

The drug company markets it as a weight loss pill. They say it will give “safe, effective weight loss”. Because it’s FDA approved it must be good. What could possibly go wrong?’

This is a repost, but the translations of the drugs warning information amused me.


Monday, August 6, 2007

 

Probation in ‘disturbing’ fetish case

‘An Upper Dublin man with what a Montgomery County prosecutor labeled a “disturbing” sexual fetish involving dirty diapers will remain under the close eye of county probation officials for the next three years.

Judge William J. Furber this week sentenced C. D. A., of the 400 block of Hutchins Drive, to a three-year probationary sentence for prowling about a home in the 400 block of West 10th Avenue in Conshohocken and removing and/or rooting around in trash bags containing a child’s dirty diapers.

A condition of the probation will require that the probation department’s intensive supervision unit closely monitor A.’s activities.

Another condition of the sentence requires A. to continue to receive outpatient therapy. A third condition bars A. from having any unsupervised contact with children under the age of 13 other than his niece.’


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Poo man caught by dog squad

‘A special council ‘dog fouling squad’ described today how an undercover surveillance operation caught a serial offender – but it wasn’t a dog. It was a man.

The CCTV operation was set up after a member of the public made a complaint to the environmental health service at Kirklees Council, West Yorkshire.

She was suspicious that the offending individual, who regularly left a mess in the same place in Cleckheaton, was not a dog.

Councillor Martyn Bolt, cabinet member for the environment, said: ‘An investigation confirmed the suspicions and concluded that the pile of excrement was not from a dog, but was of the human variety. [..]”


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Indian suspect in banana ordeal

‘An Indian suspect was forced by police to eat 50 bananas as a laxative, to retrieve a necklace he was accused of stealing and swallowing.

When the bananas failed to produce the desired effect, police fed Sheikh Mohsin rice, chicken and local bread.

Finally the necklace, which appeared on an X-ray taken on the suspect, was excreted and retrieved.

Mr Mohsin will appear in court on Monday in the eastern city of Calcutta, and could face a prison sentence.’


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Sunday, August 5, 2007

 

You Should Never Talk On Your Phone While In The Bathroom

‘All in all, it hadn’t been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I’d last taken a dump. I’d tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon.’


Monday, July 30, 2007

 

1,000 Person World’s Largest Restroom

‘The World’s Largest Restroom is in Chong Qing, China and oddly enough, is made from all recycled waste and materials.

Some urinals are uniquely shaped, including ones inside open crocodile mouths and several that are topped by the bust of a woman resembling the Virgin Mary.

As seen below the design of the restroom is quite unique with an Egyptian theme and elaborate decoration.’

Followup to China Public Restroom Has 1,000 Stalls, with images.


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Sunday, July 29, 2007

 

An Introduction to Anal Masturbation

‘It’s four thirty a.m. and the house is asleep.

I. . . am not asleep.

I am crouched in the bathtub in a frog-like stance, small puddles of urine and liquid shit at my feet. I’m leaning forward, gripping the side of the tub and biting my knee, overwhelmed by a mixture of pain and pleasure as I piston a dildo in and out of my ass.

You see, I really love anal masturbation.

Ever try it? No? You should.’


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Monday, July 23, 2007

 

Family Recovers Nearly $650 From Feces of Cash-Eating Dog

‘Debbie Hulleman’s pet dog Pepper likes to chew things. She’s gnawed on lipstick canisters, shampoo bottles, ball point pens, toothpaste, and now the list includes nearly $750 in cash — gobbled right down.

“This is probably the worst,” Ms. Hulleman said yesterday, recalling the nasty chore of recovering the money from vomit and — you guessed it — dog piles left in the yard. [..]

Pepper got into a purse belonging to a friend of her mother’s and chewed the cash from an envelope. [..]

“It wasn’t that bad. I soaked it and strained it and rinsed it. I just kept rinsing it and rinsing it. I had rubber gloves on of course,” she said. “Everyone said, ‘I can’t believe you did that.’ Well, for $400, yeah, I would do that.”‘


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Friday, July 20, 2007

 

Teen accused of killing child in toilet training rage

‘A judge ruled that a teenager will be tried as an adult for the death of an 18-month old boy he is accused of repeatedly swinging against a wall because he was frustrated with the child’s toilet training.

Derris Smith, 18, the live-in boyfriend of the child’s mother, has been charged with murder. He was 17 on June 27, when authorities say he delivered the beating that led to Malakai Glenn’s death four days later.

The boy’s mother, 20-year-old Sasha Glenn, testified Wednesday that the impact of the child hitting the wall left drywall stuck to his head and cracked a wooden door.’


Horse lived in feces-filled home

‘Modesto police have arrested a man and a woman on felony charges of child endangerment after discovering that a “mini-horse” lived in their home’s kitchen and dining room, which were covered with trash and feces.

An animal control officer visited the one-story house at 1233 College Court on Monday after neighbors told police about the horse and seven dogs kept in the back yard. Joe Curtis Silva, 30, denied having a horse in the house, but the officer saw Silva trying to load the animal into a vehicle and called for more officers to investigate, police said.

“The conditions were horrendous,” said John Bear, animal control supervisor for the Modesto police. “This miniature horse had been housed indoors for I’m guessing a good length of time by the amount of animal waste that was built up inside the house.”‘


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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

 

Home Intruder Found Sitting On Toilet

‘A startling sight greeted a Fredericksburg woman when she returned home from picking up a newspaper early Thursday, police said. A man she didn’t know was sitting on her toilet.

The man had apparently entered her home in the 300 block of Germania Street by cutting a screen and unlocking the door, police said.

City police spokeswoman Natatia Bledsoe said the incident occurred about 5:30 a.m. The resident, who is in her 80s, had left the home for a brief time to get a paper. On her way to get the paper, Bledsoe said, the woman saw the man hanging out on the street. She had never seen him before that.

When she got home, she noticed that the bathroom door was closed. She opened the door and the man was sitting there.

Bledsoe said the woman asked the man a couple of questions, including “How long are you going to be?” but didn’t understand the man’s response because it was in Spanish.’


Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue

‘Predictably, I slid in with ease. She was a little tense at first, but with an Exxon Valdez size load spilled into her poop chute, she quickly loosened up and got into it. I liked it also; it had a different feel to it. Not as good as vaginal sex, a little grainy, kinda tight, but still very nice.

Before I knew it I was fucking her like the apocalypse was imminent, burying it to the hilt with impunity. After a few minutes I was ready to come. My urgency was expressed in my tempo, and I began really jackhammering her. As the excitement got the best of me, I pulled out too far and my dick came out of her ass. I kinda scrambled to grab my dick and put it back in so I could finish off inside of her, but before I could even get a hold of it and put it back in her ass, I heard a faint “psssst” sound and felt something wet and warm hit my crotch.’


Sunday, July 15, 2007

 

Washlet

These people seem quite happy to have a clean arse.

I dunno tho, I think there’s something wrong with people who can’t keep shit off themselves without the aid of high technology. 🙂


Saturday, July 14, 2007

 

Money Found in Toilets Across Japan

‘Envelopes containing 10,000 yen ($82) bills and well-wishing notes have been discovered in municipal toilets across Japan, media reports said, baffling civil servants and triggering a nationwide hunt.

Local media have estimated that over two million yen ($16,400) worth of bills were found at men’s rooms in city halls in at least 15 prefectures (states) in recent weeks.

Each package of 10,000-yen bills, some wrapped in traditional Japanese washi paper, was accompanied by handwritten letters that read “Please make use of this money for your self-enrichment,” and “One per person,” according to reports.’


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Sunday, July 8, 2007

 

Woman, 83, Found Covered In Feces, Ants

‘A man was charged with elderly abuse after his mother was found covered in red ants and lying in her feces in a trailer with no electricity, authorities said Friday.

Lillian V. Smith, 83, died at a hospital Thursday, two days after she was discovered in the abandoned trailer with no running water or bathroom, authorities said. Newspapers had been stuffed in her anus to stop feces from spilling onto the bed, according to a police report obtained by The Miami Herald.

Doctors said she also had a fractured right leg that had not been treated, the arrest report said.’


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Saturday, July 7, 2007

 

China Public Restroom Has 1,000 Stalls

‘They’re flush with pride in a southwestern Chinese city where a recently-opened porcelain palace features an Egyptian facade, soothing music and more than 1,000 toilets spread out over 32,290 square feet.

Officials in Chongqing are preparing to submit an application to Guinness World Records to have the free four-story public bathroom listed as the world’s largest, the state-run China Central Television reported Friday.

“We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV,” said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or “Foreigners Street,” tourist area where the bathroom is located. “After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy.”‘


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Wednesday, July 4, 2007

 

Woman’s Date Shows What He’s Truly Got Inside Him

‘An 18-year-old woman was given the gift of disgust early Saturday morning when she watched a teen male she dated briefly walk onto her back porch and defecate.

Bremerton police were called from a nearby traffic stop at about 1 a.m. to an apartment building on Russell Road. A woman there told officers that she was smoking a cigarette in a shadow on her porch when she saw a 17-year-old male acquaintance perform the bodily function.

“Are you going to clean that up?” the woman asked the teen, according to police reports.

The teen, appearing intoxicated, ran away as the woman yelled after him, “You are going to clean that up.”

The woman reported the sight and smell of the incident disgusted her and almost made her vomit.

Police were unable to immediately locate the suspect.’


Monday, July 2, 2007

 

Mead Opens Nation’s First Cow-Pie Ethanol Plant

‘Cow pies processed in a small Nebraska town may soon be helping to lower the price at the pump.

The Genesis plant near Mead is the first to combine a feed lot operation in its production of ethanol.

“The manure is used to produce bio gas,” said Brian Barber, of E-3 Biofuels.

That gas fires the boilers needed to make ethanol, and the bi-produced from that creates distiller’s grain that is then feed back to the cattle.

“This is truly a historic event,” said CEO Dennis Langley.

At a dedication ceremony on Thursday, Langley said his company’s patented closed-loop system is 12 times more efficient than any other fuel source in the world.’


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Saturday, June 16, 2007

 

Diet Drug: Lose Weight, Possibly Soil Self

‘Dr. Stephen Goldberg, who heads up Jewish Hospital’s weight management program, said the drug is healthy, much more so than many of the diet drugs on the shelves today. But he said dieters must do their part, limiting their fat intake to 15 grams per meal — or else.

“You would experience bloating, you would experience loose stools, the urgency to have a bowel movement. Some people would have accidents. In general, side effects that aren’t very pleasant,” Goldberg said.’


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Disguise that took the intrepid zoologist into the crocodiles’ lair

‘When Dr Brady Barr decided to dress up as a crocodile, the disguise needed to be good.

Otherwise he was in grave danger of being eaten by the real thing.

The zoologist adopted his bizarre outfit in the hope of getting closer to a colony of Nile crocodiles, which can grow up to 20ft.

His disguise was a prosthetic head attached to the front of a protective metal cage covered with canvas and a generous plastering of hippo dung to mask his human scent.’


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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

 

Vandal pooed to stop murder urge

‘A would-be murderer who defecated on trains to “purge” himself of inner voices urging him to kill has been detained indefinitely in a secure mental hospital.

Over several months Bonney Eberendu, 36, ran up a £50,000 damages bill as teams of “specialist cleaners” were forced to withdraw rolling stock from service and spend hours cleaning up after him. [..]

Eberendu, of no fixed address, who has a previous conviction for blackmail involving threats to cut off his victim’s fingers, later told police he had spent years hearing “voices in his head”.

They caused him “such distress he wanted to murder a woman or a child by frenziedly stabbing them”.

[..] “But he didn’t carry out an act of murder because by defecating and smearing his excrement he purged himself of the urge to kill.”‘


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

 

Student test finds toilet water cleaner than drinking fountains

‘Middle School student Kyleray Katherman had a hunch something was amiss with the school’s drinking fountain water. And right he was.

For an English assignment, he tested the bacteria content at four water fountains and one toilet to challenge a ban on students from bringing bottled water to class. It seems some were using it to sneak in alcohol.

Guess which was cleaner? It wasn’t the water fountains.

He then asked students where they would prefer to get their water. That wasn’t the fountains, either.

Classmates, teachers, administrators and board members said they had no idea.’


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