Archive for January, 2007

handbook

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

 

Frontal Lobes and Humor

‘Damage to the frontal lobes has been historically related to changes in personality, with striking effects on a person’s ability to tell jokes and respond to humor. Such individuals often exhibit silly euphoric behavior, inappropriate laughter, and have an addiction to telling jokes that are usually inappropriate in content.’

An addiction to telling inappropriate jokes would be fucken hilarious, I reckon. 🙂


guidelines

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

 

Unhappy as a boy, Kim became youngest ever transsexual at 12

‘A boy of 12 is believed to have become the world’s youngest sex change patient after convincing doctors that he wanted to live the rest of his life as a female.

The boy – originally called Tim, but now known as Kim – has started to receive hormone treatment, in preparation for the operation that will eventually complete the sex change.

Tim was diagnosed as a transsexual two years ago, when doctors and psychiatrists concluded that his claims to be “in the wrong body” were so deeply felt that he required treatment. The therapy involves artificially arresting male puberty, with a series of potent hormone injections before the administration of female hormones to initiate the development of features such as breasts.’


address

Face Plant Into Picnic Table

‘This dude tries to bounce his bike onto a table but it gets caught in the snow pulling him over the handle bars and crushing his face into the table.’

(636kB Windows media)

see it here »


OK to restrict gay men to from donating sperm: court

`It does not violate the Charter of Rights to restrict gay men from donating to sperm banks, says the Ontario Court of Appeal.

The ruling rejected the claim of a Toronto lesbian, known as Susan Doe, who argued that it violated her constitutional rights to exclude the semen of gay men, including that of a gay friend who was willing to help her become pregnant.

The ban, contained in the federal Processing of Semen for Assisted Contraception Regulations, is “rational and health based,” said a three-judge panel.’


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Gay Bands

‘Bjork
The Grateful Dead (AIDS)
Marilyn Manson (dark gay)
The Doors
Morrissey(?questionable?)
Metallica
George Michael (texan)
Barry Manilow
Ted Nugent (loincloth)
Frank Sinatra
Elton John(really gay)’

etc..


WiiBot

‘We took an industrial robot, strapped a tennis racket and a sword to it, and put it under the control of a WiiMote. We ran very light pattern recognition on the WiiMote, so it would copy our sword swings.’

(4.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


forum

Naked Wife Beat Up Her Husband

‘A Screaming naked woman was found by police beating her husband in the front of a van.Officers were alerted to screams coming from a vehicle in Brynawelon, and discovered Mary Nurse stripped bare hitting her partner.

She then ran starkers into the street when officers tried to arrest her.

The 40-year-old was given a conditional discharge after she admitted causing harassment, alarm and distress when she appeared before Llanelli magistrates.’


site-map

Australian state to recycle drinking water

`An Australian state plans to introduce recycled sewage to its drinking water as a record drought threatens water supplies around the nation, a state leader said Monday.

Queensland state Premier Peter Beattie said falling dam levels have left his government with no choice but to introduce recycled water next year in the state’s southeast — one of Australia’s fastest growing urban areas.

“We’re not getting rain; we’ve got no choice,” Beattie, who said his government had scrapped a referendum planned for March on the issue, told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.’


Prank Calls To Military Recruiters

‘Great. The other thing, I’m a real clotheshound, and I gotta admit, I kind of like the uniforms, but I’m not into green for the most part.

Actually, we’re wearing a digital pattern now, and it’s blue and tan.
Can you spice it up with some yellows or reds?

No, you can’t.
Is your underwear also camouflage?

No, that’s pretty much up to you.
So you can go wild with underwear—and socks, maybe?

Yeah.
Good, ’cause I’ve got a lot of red and yellow stripes, I’m a huge yellow and red freak.’


Mazzy Star

Hope Sandoval is never happy, but she’s cool.

I wonder if she’d marry me.

see it here »


help

One Click Butter Cutter

‘Portion control is an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle. No more messy butter dish. 5 pats equal 1 tablespoon. Slices, serves, and stores one stick of butter or margarine.’

If I had one I’d cut yo momma’s butter. And she’d love it.


handbook

Smile, Hitler

//:=| typical Hitler (with a disdainful expression)

//:=O bombastic Hitler (shouting)

//8=) stoned Hitler (courtesy of his personal physician from 1936-1945, Dr. Theodor “uppers ‘n’ downers” Morell)


No-fly zone spoils Google’s big day out

`Scores of Sydneysiders who took up Google’s challenge to make a spectacle of themselves in an aerial photo shoot staged over the city on Australia Day are likely to be disappointed.

A plane chartered by Google to take the images never made it over some of the designated areas or arrived hours later than expected by which time, many of those who had been waiting below had moved on. [..]

But the flight plan was hastily changed on Friday morning after Sydney air traffic control denied the twin-engine Aero Commander permission to fly over parks and beaches in inner Sydney and the east due to air safety concerns.’


guidelines

Smashing Good Time

‘This guy skates up a ramp and drops off onto the concrete, unfortunately his skateboard beats him to the ground and smashes Josh right in the face. That looks painful!’

(2.3meg Windows media)

see it here »


address

Mysterious source jams satellite communications

`Paris-based satellite company Eutelsat is investigating “unidentified interference” with its satellite broadcast services that temporarily knocked out several television and radio stations. The company declined to say whether it thought the interference was accidental or deliberate.

The problem began Tuesday afternoon, blocking several European, Middle East and northeast African radio and television stations, as well as Agence France-Presse’s news service. All transferred their satellite transmissions to another frequency to resume operations.’


US urges scientists to block out sun

‘The US wants the world’s scientists to develop technology to block sunlight as a last-ditch way to halt global warming.

It says research into techniques such as giant mirrors in space or reflective dust pumped into the atmosphere would be “important insurance” against rising emissions, and has lobbied for such a strategy to be recommended by a UN report on climate change, the first part of which is due out on Friday.’


store

Firefighter Training House Explosion

see it here »


5 students suspended after hazing incident

‘Five students from Whitman-Hanson Regional High School were suspended this week after a freshman student was taped to a bench and punched in the groin during a bizarre hazing incident, school officials said yesterday.

School Superintendent John F. McEwan said four sophomores and a junior decided Jan. 17 to pull a prank on a freshman after school in the boys’ locker room. [..]

The students first grabbed a freshman, held him down, and started teasing him, McEwan said.

“That student got away,” he said.

The group then went after another freshman, who, at first, was laughing as well, McEwan said.’


forum

Abandoned Cincinnati Subway System

‘Most major cities have subway systems–New York, LA, Chicago, Washington. In the early years of the twentieth century, when the river trade was flourishing and it ranked in the top ten largest cities in the nation, Cincinnati decided to build one for itself. The major impetus was the draining of the Miami and Erie Canal, along which the subway would be built.’


site-map

Girls charged with conspiring to kill classmates, Oprah

‘Six girls at a rural high school were charged with homicide conspiracy after their principal found a list of 300 names and officials discovered online postings suggesting they kill people, authorities said Thursday.

School officials said the list, discovered in a classroom trash can, mostly named students and faculty members but also included Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey and the Energizer Bunny.

Sequatchie County High School Principal Tommy Layne said that he initially considered it a joke, but that authorities then found the ninth-graders’ online MySpace pages and postings that included the word “kill.”‘


Richard Hammond jet-powered dragster crash

This is the footage of that presenter from Top Gear crashing a jet powered car whilst it’s moving quite pretty quickly. He seems reasonably okay.

(6.6meg Windows media)

see it here »


Missing toddler found in septic tank

‘The body of a 3-year-old boy was found in a septic tank less than 10 feet from the house where he was reported missing, Flathead County Sheriff Mike Meehan said Saturday.

The body of Loic J.M. Rogers was found late Friday, and an autopsy showed that he drowned, Meehan said.

“This is a tragedy,” Meehan said.

It was unclear how the boy got into the septic tank, and the manhole-sized lid was closed. Meehan did not classify the death as a homicide, but said investigators do not believe he could have climbed into the tank and put the lid back on himself. An investigation is continuing.’


help

Wiltshire’s Secret Underground City

‘Welcome to Wiltshire’s Secret Underground City… the 35 acre subterranean Cold War City that lies 100 feet beneath Corsham.

Built in the late 50s this massive city complex was designed to safely house up to 4,000 central Government personnel in the event of a nuclear strike.

In a former Bath stone quarry the city, code named Burlington, was to be the site of the main Emergency Government War Headquarters – the hub of the Country’s alternative seat of power outside London.’


handbook

Street kids raid poverty summit

`Dozens of street children have invaded a five-star hotel food tent and feasted on meals meant for sale at the World Social Forum in Kenya’s capital.

The hungry urchins were joined by other participants who complained that the food was too expensive at the annual anti-capitalist get together.

The police, caught unawares, were unable to stop the free-for-all that saw the food containers swept clean.

The gathering in Nairobi is discussing social problems, including poverty.

A plate of food at the tent being operated by the prestigious Windsor Hotel was selling for $7 in a country where many live on less than $2 a day.’


Monday, January 29, 2007

 

Kirk Douglas was raped

‘The good kind of rape though. In his upcoming autobiography, “Let’s Face it – 90 Years of Living, Loving and Learning,” Douglas reveals that he lost his virginity was he just 15 years old–to a school teacher! The movie legend claims he didn’t know his teacher could have gone to prison for statutory rape if their relationship had been discovered. Recalling his lover, Douglas writes:

“I had been a ragamuffin kid of 15 coping with a neighborhood filled with gangs… Under her guidance I became a different person. I am eternally grateful. By today’s standards she would have gone to jail. I had no idea we were doing something wrong. Did she?”‘


guidelines

Feral Children

‘Oxana lived from the age of three to eight with a pack of dogs that protected and cared for her. The remarkable footage showed her crawling on all fours, eating, drinking and even barking like a dog. Mindshock has followed her progress since then, as she struggles with the complexity of language and has slowly moved from the community of dogs back towards human society.’

The question at the end seems to suggest the narrator doesn’t consider her to be human. 🙂

(3.4meg Windows media)

see it here »


address

79-year-old hit with stun gun

‘A man who used a stun gun on his 79-year-old grandmother-in-law was arrested for investigation of domestic violence assault. [..]

The argument began Wednesday morning when his 7-month-old son tried to grab electrical wires, de Bruyn told The Columbian newspaper of Vancouver.

Fearing the boy would shock himself, he told the boy “no” and gave the child a swat on his bottom. De Bruyn said his grandmother-in-law told him that was child abuse and threatened to have the child taken away. He said he then told her to leave.

After arguing, he pulled out his Taser stun gun and told her he would use it on her if she didn’t leave within 60 seconds. He counted down, and when she didn’t leave, he shocked her on her right shoulder. She did not need medical attention.’


Rivals attack Vista as illegal under EU rules

‘It said a so-called “open XML” platform file format, known as OOXML, is designed to run seamlessly only on the Microsoft Office platform. It governs the way a document is formatted and stored.

“The end result will be the continued absence of any real consumer choice, years of waiting for Microsoft to improve — or even debug — its monopoly products and of course high prices,” said Thomas Vinje, lawyer for ECIS, in the statement.

Other complainants in the group include Corel, RealNetworks , Linspire and Opera.’


store

Handicap Guy is Pissed at Handicapped People

[shrug]

see it here »


Teacher barred for anatomy drawings

‘A teacher has been barred from classes for having his seventh-grade students draw male genitalia on the blackboard during health class, school officials say. [..]

Pierorazio said the teacher opened a lesson on human anatomy and sexuality by asking students in a class of boys and girls to volunteer to come to the board to draw male anatomy. [..]

At least one parent said he did not believe the material was inappropriate.

“This is biology, it’s anatomy, it’s human sexuality,” said Jon Klibonoff, who has a child at the school but not in the class. “They’re in puberty. They’re aware of it on one level or another.”‘


forum